絕望的主婦第一季第十九集

[00:00.10]Previously on "desperate housewives"... [00:02.00] [00:02.00]Grandma's here. [00:03.30] [00:03.30]In life... [00:04.10] [00:04.10]It's a post-nuptial agreement. [00:06.10] [00:06.10]I'm not signing this. [00:07.40] [00:07.40]Aah! [00:08.50] [00:08.50]Sign it! [00:09.80] [00:09.80]Stop! You're hurting me! [00:11.80] [00:11.80]Mrs. Solis, what are you doing here? [00:13.50] [00:13.50]You can't change what's already been done. [00:16.20] [00:16.20]People leave trails. [00:17.10] [00:17.10]One of those trails will lead to Deirdre. [00:19.10] [00:19.10]I'm not taking my money to the grave. [00:20.80] [00:20.80]I'm going to use it to save your ass. [00:22.80] [00:22.80]Or who people really are. [00:24.90] [00:24.90]Andrew just told me he thinks he might be gay. [00:29.30] [00:34.20]Every morning as she went to take out her trash, [00:37.20] [00:37.20]Lynette Scavo would indulge in a little daydream, the details of which were always the same. [00:45.50] [00:46.30]One day her nasty neighbor Karen Mccluskey would keel over and die, [00:53.40] [00:53.70]and her home would be bought by a lovely Swedish family with two adorable twin daughters. [01:01.10] [01:01.10]The families would for man everlasting friendship, [01:05.40] [01:05.40]culminating in their daughters marrying her sons at an elaborate wedding [01:11.30] [01:11.30]the Scavos wouldn't have to pay for. [01:16.10] [01:17.10]Yes, Lynette enjoyed her little daydream, [01:21.10] [01:21.10]but Mrs. Mccluskey always had a way of pulling her back to reality. [01:27.10] [01:27.10]Hey, hey, hey, hey. [01:29.90] [01:30.30]Why are you stealing my garbage cans? [01:32.30] [01:32.30]Garbage pickup was two days ago, and these cans have been on the street ever since. [01:35.60] [01:35.60]I just assumed you didn't want them anymore. [01:37.50] [01:37.50]Oh, that's very cute. That's good. [01:39.80] [01:39.80]Here. Give them here. [01:42.20] [01:42.20]It's bad enough we got to look at that god-awful color you painted the house. [01:45.10] [01:45.10]We shouldn't have to stare at your cans for days on end. [01:48.20] [01:48.20]You want to talk about good neighbor etiquette? [01:49.80] [01:49.80]How about you hire a gardener to take care of that jungle you call a lawn? [01:53.50] [01:53.50]I am on a fixed income. [01:55.20] [01:55.20]Oh. Well, perhaps you should consider moving somewhere less expensive, [01:58.70] [01:58.70]like a nursing home. [02:00.00] [02:00.00]- Go to hell. - Run by Germans, hmm? [02:03.00] [02:06.00]And you know -- [02:07.50] [02:07.50]Oh. Oh. [02:09.60] [02:09.60]Mrs. -- Mrs. Mccluskey. [02:12.00] [02:12.00]Mrs. Mccluskey, are you all right? [02:14.50] [02:16.40]I'll get the door. [02:18.20] [02:21.00]Mrs. Mccluskey. [02:21.90] [02:21.90]For a brief moment, Lynette was presented with an interesting choice of options. [02:27.80] [02:29.40]And though she knew she'd hate herself in the morning, [02:32.60] [02:32.60]Lynette chose to do the right thing. [02:35.40] [02:35.40]Lynette, where are they taking me? [02:37.40] [02:37.40]You're going to the hospital, Mrs. Mccluskey. You're going to be fine. [02:41.10] [02:41.10]I don't want to go alone. Come with me. [02:42.60] [02:42.60]Oh, um, these are trained technicians, and I've got a roast in the... freezer. [02:49.30] [02:49.80]Please. I'm scared. [02:52.90] [02:55.50]Yeah, I'll come with you. [02:57.10] [02:57.10]Okay, here I am. Thank you. [03:00.00] [03:01.10]If I die, I don't want it to be with strangers. [03:04.00] [03:04.00]You're not going to die. [03:05.80] [03:05.80]How can you be so sure? [03:08.50] [03:09.40]Of course, Lynette didn't respond. [03:12.90] [03:12.90]How could she tell her neighbor that some dreams were just too beautiful to come true? [03:20.00] [03:59.80]<font color=F62B97>Episode 19 : Live Alone and Like It (a.k.a. An Unexpected Song) [04:04.00] [04:07.40]Life is a journey, [04:09.80] [04:09.80]one that is much better traveled with a companion by our side. [04:14.90] [04:14.90]But sometimes we lose our companions along the way, [04:19.70] [04:20.40]and then the journey becomes unbearable. [04:24.20] [04:24.20]Noah. [04:26.10] [04:27.40]Didn't know you were a religious man. [04:29.10] [04:29.10]What's with the rosary? [04:31.60] [04:32.20]They found Dierdre. [04:34.20] [04:34.20]What? [04:35.60] [04:37.30]Her body had been stuffed inside a toy chest. [04:40.70] [04:41.50]Can you believe that? [04:43.60] [04:43.60]A kid's toy chest. [04:46.00] [04:51.00]She'd been dismembered. [04:53.40] [04:59.60]Oh, my god. [05:01.40] [05:03.60]Cops I.D.'D her from her dental records. [05:07.10] [05:09.40]She's been dead 15 years. [05:12.60] [05:13.90]All that time I was looking for her, [05:17.10] [05:17.10]she was already gone. [05:20.10] [05:21.40]I'm so sorry. [05:24.10] [05:26.00]I have to bury my baby. [05:28.80] [05:29.20]I came out here to, [05:32.10] [05:32.10]Uh... figure out what kind of Tombstone to get her. [05:35.50] [05:36.40]You shouldn't be doing this now. [05:38.30] [05:38.30]Let's get you home. [05:40.30] [05:41.80]There's a cop I want you to talk to. [05:44.20] [05:44.20]A cop? [05:45.00] [05:45.00]His name is Sullivan. [05:47.10] [05:47.10]I paid him to take the heat off you for your neighbor's murder. [05:50.70] [05:50.70]He'll get you the file on Dierdre's case. [05:53.80] [05:54.30]Apparently, they have some leads. [05:57.20] [06:04.70]I don't know. I think we may be making a huge mistake. [06:07.50] [06:07.50]We made our decision. Let's just stick to it. [06:09.70] [06:09.70]Let's say we leave him here three more weeks. [06:12.30] [06:12.30]What's the worst that could happen? [06:14.70] [06:15.00]Our son just told us that he might be gay. [06:18.00] [06:18.00]There are 200 other boys in this camp. [06:21.40] [06:21.40]Now, I could explain to you what might happen if we left him here, [06:25.00] [06:25.00]but I'm a lady, and I don't use that kind of language. [06:29.10] [06:33.80]You know, I bet we're worrying ourselves sick over nothing. [06:36.20] [06:36.20]This is probably just a phase. [06:37.50] [06:37.50]Exactly, so we'll get him home, [06:39.00] [06:39.00]we'll get him into Christian counseling so it won't become a lifestyle. [06:42.00] [06:42.00]Well, whatever's going on with him, he's still our son, and we love him. [06:45.90] [06:46.30]Why would you say that to me? [06:47.70] [06:47.70]Because it's obvious how freaked out you are by the whole gay thing. [06:52.20] [06:52.20]I may be freaked out, but that doesn't change how I feel about him. [06:55.20] [06:55.20]I'm just saying be cool. [06:59.00] [07:01.80]I can be just as cool as you can. [07:03.80] [07:03.80]All right. [07:06.10] [07:15.80]It'll be nice to have you back. [07:19.00] [07:19.00]Andrew... [07:20.80] [07:20.80]I would love you even if you were a murderer. [07:25.20] [07:35.20]Mommy, the line's not moving. [07:37.70] [07:37.70]Oh, for pete's sake. [07:40.40] [07:46.40]Mom. Mom. [07:48.00] [07:48.00]- What? - Kids are waiting. [07:49.20] [07:49.20]Oh, honey, hector here teaches salsa dancing at the community center. [07:53.80] [07:53.80]I give private lessons, too. [07:55.50] [07:55.50]Oh, I bet you do. [07:57.80] [07:57.80]- Mom. - What? [07:58.80] [07:58.80]Could you please not flirt with the ice cream man? [08:01.20] [08:01.20]Why not? [08:02.20] [08:02.20]Do you need a reason beyond the fact that he's the ice cream man? [08:05.70] [08:06.20]It's called moving on with your life. [08:09.20] [08:09.20]You just broke up with Morty two weeks ago. [08:10.80] [08:10.80]Don't you think you can at least pretend to mourn the relationship? [08:14.10] [08:14.10]Oh, you are such a stick in the mud. [08:16.20] [08:16.20]We should be out there having fun. [08:19.20] [08:19.20]I know what we can do tonight. [08:21.10] [08:21.10]We can go to some hip club and get some hot guys. [08:24.70] [08:24.70]- Mom -- - oh, it'll be great. [08:27.10] [08:27.10]I'll say I'm 42, and you can be 28. [08:30.90] [08:31.50]What? [08:33.10] [08:33.10]Oh, you can pull it off. [08:36.60] [08:41.20]Mrs. Mccluskey, you're back from the hospital already? [08:43.80] [08:43.80]Turns out I O.D.'D a little bit on my arthritis medication. [08:47.10] [08:47.10]One pill, I can open a jar. Four pills, I'm face-down crawling for my life. [08:51.60] [08:51.60]You'll find out about that soon enough. [08:54.40] [08:54.70]Well, I'm glad to hear you're all right. [08:57.50] [08:57.50]Here. [08:58.60] [08:58.60]My way of saying thank you for not letting me die out there on the lawn. [09:01.80] [09:01.80]- Oh, Mrs. Mccluskey, you don't -- - keep that. [09:04.70] [09:04.70]It's genuine tiffany. [09:05.80] [09:05.80]It's been in my family for years. [09:08.70] [09:08.80]I don't know what to say. [09:10.40] [09:10.40]It's -- it's stunning. Thank you. [09:14.20] [09:26.50]I'd invite you in, but -- [09:27.80] [09:27.80]well, I wanted to tell you what my doctor said. [09:29.50] [09:29.50]Seems that arthritis is the least of my problems. [09:31.80] [09:31.80]See, I had this skin tag -- or what I thought was a skin tag, [09:34.70] [09:34.70]but it turns out it might be more serious. [09:38.00] [09:42.10]What do you think you're doing? [09:43.60] [09:43.60]Please -- I can't sleep in the den anymore. I need to sleep in a bed. [09:46.80] [09:46.80]Well, then, you might want to try a motel, because you're not coming back in here. [09:51.70] [09:53.00]How many times have I got to say I'm sorry? [09:55.00] [09:55.00]Obviously, a few more. [09:57.90] [09:58.70]I am not proud of what I did. [10:01.10] [10:01.10]I admit, I was way out of line. [10:04.20] [10:04.20]You want back in this bed? [10:06.30] [10:06.60]You know what to do. [10:08.50] [10:09.80]I'm not tearing up the post-nup. [10:11.40] [10:11.40]Why not? [10:12.40] [10:12.40]Because it's the one way that I can ensure you'll be here when I get out of jail. [10:16.50] [10:16.60]Well, then have fun at the motel. [10:19.10] [10:19.60]Fine. [10:20.50] [10:20.50]Tomorrow I'm canceling your credit cards. [10:23.60] [10:23.60]What? [10:24.30] [10:24.30]And I'm taking away your ATM as well. [10:26.70] [10:26.70]What am I supposed to do for money? [10:28.50] [10:28.50]Maybe once you see how good you've got it here, [10:30.80] [10:30.80]you'll start treating me with a little respect. [10:32.50] [10:32.50]You want my respect? Then tear up the post-nup. [10:35.50] [10:35.50]Give me my pillow. [10:38.30] [10:39.20]One more thing -- [10:40.70] [10:40.70]if you ever hurt me again, I will kill you. [10:43.80] [10:43.80]If you ever leave me for another man, I'll kill you. [10:47.20] [10:50.80]Boy, with all this passion, isn't it a shame that we're not having sex? [10:55.10] [11:08.80]I feel trapped. [11:10.60] [11:10.60]You want me to open a window? [11:12.30] [11:12.30]No, I'm talking about my life. [11:14.10] [11:14.10]Oh. [11:16.20] [11:16.20]Are we done making out? [11:18.30] [11:18.30]No, no. Keep going. [11:21.10] [11:21.70]So what's up? [11:23.60] [11:23.60]I'm unhappy with Carlos and my marriage. [11:27.30] [11:27.30]I feel like I don't have options, and it's driving me crazy. [11:30.30] [11:30.30]Every time something went south in my life, I always had a plan "B." [11:33.70] [11:33.70]Now I feel like I have nothing. [11:35.30] [11:35.30]What about me? Can't I be your plan "B"? [11:37.80] [11:37.80]Damn it, John, what is our new rule? [11:40.90] [11:40.90]Stop pretending we have a future. [11:42.90] [11:42.90]Thank you. [11:44.70] [11:44.70]Can't you just walk out? [11:46.10] [11:46.10]No, 'cause if I leave, then I'll be broke, and that's awful. [11:49.60] [11:49.60]If I stay, then he's in control, and that's horrifying. [11:52.60] [11:52.60]And he cut up all my credit cards, which means I'm married to him and unable to shop, [11:57.40] [11:57.40]which is probably the worst of all possible worlds. [12:00.50] [12:00.50]I'm sorry. [12:02.10] [12:02.10]I'll figure something out. [12:04.80] [12:05.60]I'm not much fun today. [12:07.40] [12:07.40]I'm going to go. [12:10.20] [12:11.50]Wait. [12:13.40] [12:16.20]What's this? [12:17.20] [12:17.20]You deserve nice things, and if Mr. Solis won't provide them, I will. [12:22.50] [12:23.20]With your student credit card? [12:25.00] [12:25.00]I own my own business. [12:26.30] [12:26.30]You mow lawns. [12:27.40] [12:27.40]I make good money. [12:28.40] [12:28.40]You know, I have 20 houses, and I'm this close to getting the driving range at the country club. [12:32.00] [12:32.00]I can't. [12:32.60] [12:32.60]Yes, you can. [12:35.50] [12:41.20]I'll pay it off. [12:42.80] [12:42.80]If you want. [12:44.30] [12:44.30]But you don't have to. [12:46.30] [12:46.40]Mrs. Solis... to take care of you -- [12:50.70] [12:50.70]it's my dream. [12:53.10] [12:53.50]Well, far be it from me to stand in the way of a young man's dream. [12:59.10] [12:59.80]Okay, Tom, yeah. I will swing by the dry cleaners after I hit the market. [13:03.80] [13:03.80]Mm, I don't know. Porter has a dentist appointment at 4:00, [13:07.60] [13:07.60]so the, um, car might have to wait until Tomorrow. [13:11.10] [13:11.10]Okay, yeah. I love you, too. Bye-bye. [13:14.40] [13:14.40]Hi there. [13:15.30] [13:15.30]I brought you some avocados. [13:17.10] [13:17.10]I have a tree in back, but I hate them, [13:18.50] [13:18.50]and your family seems like the kind that would eat guacamole. [13:21.60] [13:21.60]Um, Mrs. Mccluskey, thank you. That is very nice. [13:25.20] [13:25.20]So let's make up a batch. [13:26.30] [13:26.30]Oh, um, now's not a good time. [13:28.90] [13:28.90]I'm on my way out. I have a ton of errands. [13:31.40] [13:31.40]Oh, that's great, because my car's on the Fritz, and I could hitch a ride. [13:35.20] [13:35.20]I need to drop by the pharmacy anyway. [13:36.80] [13:36.80]No, I can't. I'm sorry, but I-I have a lot of things to do. [13:40.80] [13:40.80]Maybe you could take me later. I could drop by Tomorrow. [13:43.40] [13:43.40]Mrs. Mccluskey, I'm not going to have any time Tomorrow. [13:46.10] [13:46.10]Oh. Kind of interesting that you can't spend two minutes with me, [13:49.60] [13:49.60]but you have no trouble taking my tiffany lamp. [13:54.00] [13:54.20]Oh, for god's sakes. [13:57.70] [13:58.20]Here. [13:59.70] [13:59.70]You should take this back. [14:01.10] [14:01.10]I-I don't have a place for it. [14:04.20] [14:04.20]But that was my thank you for saving my life. [14:06.60] [14:06.60]I know, and it was a beautiful gesture. Really. [14:10.70] [14:10.70]But I just -- [14:12.10] [14:12.10]Save it, Lynette. I get the picture. [14:16.90] [14:28.10]Oh! [14:29.60] [14:29.60]Oh, god. [14:30.00] [14:30.00]Susie, this is Tim. [14:33.50] [14:34.40]Sorry we startled you. [14:35.80] [14:35.80]Oh, uh, that's okay. I -- [14:39.80] [14:39.80]I just didn't expect to see anybody up at a quarter to 1:00. [14:43.50] [14:43.50]Oh, Susie, you should have come out tonight. [14:46.50] [14:46.50]I met Tim here at the islands bar, [14:48.70] [14:48.70]and he introduced me to this crazy drink -- the dirty volcano. [14:54.50] [14:54.80]Whoo. [14:55.50] [14:55.50]And then we danced, and he dipped me. [14:59.80] [14:59.80]Sophie's very limber. [15:02.70] [15:02.70]Uh, mom, could I just talk to you in the family room for a minute? [15:06.80] [15:06.80]Oh, sure. [15:07.80] [15:07.80]Susan is your daughter? [15:10.20] [15:10.20]Ha ha. Yeah. [15:12.30] [15:12.30]No, she can't be. [15:14.10] [15:14.10]Yes. [15:14.40] [15:14.40]- No. - Yeah. [15:15.30] [15:15.30]- No. - Yeah. [15:16.50] [15:16.50]- No. - Yes. [15:18.50] [15:18.50]Okay, we get it. She looks young. [15:21.90] [15:26.00]That man has magic fingers. [15:28.10] [15:28.10]What are you doing? I have a teenage daughter in the house. [15:30.20] [15:30.20]You can't just bring strange men you meet in bars here in the middle of the night. [15:34.20] [15:34.20]We're just having a few laughs. What's the big deal? [15:37.00] [15:37.00]I know you're trying to get over Morty, but this is not the way to do it, [15:39.80] [15:39.80]So can you please just go out there and tell him to go home? [15:42.80] [15:42.80]You know how blue I've been. [15:45.70] [15:45.70]Why can't you be supportive? [15:47.10] [15:47.10]I have been plenty supportive. [15:48.10] [15:48.10]No, you haven't. You really haven't. [15:50.50] [15:50.50]Now, Tim is my guest, and he will go home when I say so. [15:55.90] [15:57.60]If he's not gone in five minutes, [15:59.60] [15:59.60]I'm going to go out there and tell him exactly how old you really are. [16:04.40] [16:12.50]Tim, it's time for me to go sleepy-bye. [16:17.10] [16:24.50]Delfino. [16:26.90] [16:28.30]Yeah. [16:30.00] [16:30.20]You must be Sullivan. [16:32.90] [16:33.80]The file on Noah's daughter. [16:36.70] [16:36.70]Yeah, he said you had some leads. [16:39.70] [16:39.70]Yeah, sure, we got some leads. [16:43.10] [16:43.80]Is there a problem? [16:44.90] [16:44.90]Gee, I don't know. [16:46.70] [16:46.70]I'm handing a confidential police report over to a killer and drug dealer. [16:51.30] [16:51.30]Why should that be a problem? [16:54.40] [16:57.90]Thanks. [16:59.30] [17:00.20]Is this what our justice system has come to -- [17:02.20] [17:02.20]guys like you walking the streets without a care in the world? [17:06.50] [17:06.80]I did my time. [17:08.10] [17:08.10]Not nearly enough, you piece of garbage. [17:11.60] [17:14.50]You know, I'm glad we had the chance to meet, [17:17.80] [17:18.40]because apparently, I'm no longer a murder suspect thanks to you, [17:22.40] [17:22.40]so I don't want to seem ungrateful. [17:24.80] [17:24.80]But just out of curiosity -- [17:27.50] [17:27.50]how much does it cost to buy off a homicide detective these days? [17:31.70] [17:35.90]Thanks again. [17:38.00] [17:39.20]Hey, Delfino... one more thing. [17:42.10] [17:59.50]Now, this file is misplaced. Understand? [18:05.00] [18:05.10]If even a whisper of this gets traced back to me, [18:09.20] [18:09.20]there will be one less cop killer on the street. [18:12.90] [18:19.10]And for god's sakes... don't get any blood on the file. [18:23.50] [18:44.20]Ma'am, I'm sorry, but your credit card has been declined. [18:48.10] [18:48.10]What? [18:50.00] [18:50.10]Oh, no, that's impossible. It's a new card. [18:52.70] [18:52.70]I just went shopping with it. [18:54.50] [18:54.50]Try it again. [18:55.60] [18:55.60]Ma'am, I ran it three times, and then I called the bank. [18:58.80] [18:58.80]Now, may I try another card? [19:01.90] [19:01.90]Of course you may. Will you just give me a moment? [19:05.50] [19:13.40]- Hello? - It's me. [19:15.00] [19:15.00]I've been trying to call you, but you turned your cell off. [19:17.20] [19:17.20]Because I'm in a lovely restaurant having a lovely meal that I now can't pay for. [19:21.30] [19:21.30]Well, did you order already? [19:22.60] [19:22.60]I ate already. [19:23.70] [19:23.70]Look, the credit card company called my mom. [19:26.10] [19:26.10]I mean, they said that there was unusual activity on my card. [19:28.80] [19:28.80]- I bought shoes. - Well, I didn't know that. [19:30.80] [19:30.80]And then my mom started asking all these questions, [19:32.80] [19:32.80]so I just blurted out that the card was stolen, and she canceled it. [19:36.30] [19:36.30]Why would they call your parents? It's your account. [19:38.80] [19:38.80]They co-signed for it. [19:41.70] [19:41.70]Look, if you just explain to the waiter -- [19:43.60] [19:43.60]What, that the credit card was canceled by my lover's mommy? [19:47.10] [19:47.10]Well, what other options do you have? [19:49.00] [19:49.00]Unless you return the shoes and get the money back. [19:51.10] [19:51.10]Return the shoes? [19:53.60] [19:53.60]I can't talk to you when you're being hysterical. [19:56.70] [19:58.50]So, ma'am, what would you like to do about the bill? [20:03.10] [20:15.10]Afternoon. I've got a package for your neighbor Karen Mccluskey. [20:18.30] [20:18.30]You mind signing? [20:19.40] [20:19.40]Well, isn't she home? She usually never goes anywhere. [20:21.20] [20:21.20]No one answered. [20:23.10] [20:23.10]All right. [20:26.10] [20:28.50]Okay. Thank you. [20:31.10] [20:42.00]So let me get this straight -- [20:43.60] [20:43.60]You play tennis, you know wine, and you speak mandarin. [20:48.30] [20:48.30]Does every other man in the world want you dead? [20:51.50] [20:52.00]Well, I'm not that impressive. [20:53.80] [20:53.80]I pulled a gray hair out of my chest this morning. [20:57.20] [20:57.50]I don't know. I'd watch your back. [21:00.00] [21:01.70]You know, I've really enjoyed talking to you. [21:04.10] [21:04.10]You, uh... [21:06.40] [21:07.10]Well, you made my day. [21:09.60] [21:09.80]I was thinking if you'd like to get together again... [21:13.60] [21:14.10]Well, Sam, to --to tell you the truth, I'm kind of in a relationship right now. [21:18.70] [21:18.70]I just wanted to be honest. [21:20.80] [21:20.80]That's perfectly okay, Tina. [21:23.50] [21:24.80]By the way... this is on me. [21:27.80] [21:27.80]Oh, no, you shouldn't. [21:29.20] [21:29.20]Oh, please. It's my pleasure. [21:33.10] [21:39.60]This is going to be a disaster. [21:40.90] [21:40.90]It'll be fine. [21:43.30] [21:44.30]Andrew, honey, hurry up. Dinner's ready. [21:47.40] [21:47.40]It's like we're setting a trap for him. [21:49.90] [21:49.90]It's for his own good. You'll see. [21:53.30] [21:54.30]Smells good. What are we having? [21:56.40] [21:56.40]I'm making homemade bratwurst with sweet-and-sour cabbage. [21:59.90] [21:59.90]It's a recipe I found in an old German cookbook. [22:04.00] [22:05.60]I'll get the door. Honey, why don't you pour the wine? [22:08.80] [22:11.70]Isn't Danielle spending the night at Wendy's? [22:13.70] [22:13.70]I believe she is. [22:15.40] [22:15.40]Well, then why did mom set the table for four places? [22:19.00] [22:19.00]Huh? [22:20.00] [22:20.00]Uh, I asked who's coming for dinner. [22:23.20] [22:24.00]Andrew... you remember Reverend Sikes, don't you? [22:28.30] [22:28.30]Oh, come on. [22:30.00] [22:30.00]Um, Reverend, why don't you have a seat, and I will get some refreshments? [22:34.90] [22:38.70]So, Andrew... it's been a long time. [22:43.30] [22:43.30]Yes. Yes, it has. [22:46.10] [22:46.10]Would you like some water? I have flat or bubbly. [22:48.50] [22:48.50]Oh, bubbly, please. [22:50.60] [22:50.70]So... [22:53.00] [22:53.00]your mother tells me you've started having some sexual desires for other boys. [22:58.00] [23:03.30]I don't suppose I could get some of that. [23:04.80] [23:04.80]Nope. I'm going to need every drop. [23:07.50] [23:09.50]And over the years, we've had so many young people come to our ministry [23:14.00] [23:14.00]hating themselves for their unnatural desires, and within a few months, [23:18.30] [23:18.30]they've found an inner peace and a tranquility that is nothing short of miraculous. [23:23.00] [23:23.00]Oh. [23:24.10] [23:24.10]And all it takes is a little faith and a desire to change. [23:28.50] [23:28.50]I'm sorry, but I-I really don't want to talk about my sex life. [23:33.10] [23:33.40]Well, that's just too bad, because this needs to be discussed. [23:36.10] [23:36.10]Bree, please, let the boy speak. Go on. [23:40.70] [23:40.80]Well, I appreciate your offer to help. I do. [23:44.10] [23:44.10]But I don't hate myself. [23:47.40] [23:47.40]So I'm good. [23:50.10] [23:50.10]Son, I know what it's like to be a teenager. It's a very confusing time. [23:54.20] [23:54.20]I'm not confused. [23:56.40] [23:56.40]I know exactly who I am. [24:00.60] [24:04.60]Well... if you ever do want to talk, my door is always open. [24:10.50] [24:15.80]Reverend, I don't mean to criticize, but... [24:19.00] [24:19.00]it sounds like you're giving up. [24:21.60] [24:21.70]We can't force him on the path of righteousness. [24:25.10] [24:25.10]He himself has got to want to make the journey. [24:28.60] [24:28.90]Well, then, what do we do, just stand by while he starts dating boys? [24:32.80] [24:32.80]And by the way, the correct word is not "gay." It's "sodomy." [24:35.80] [24:35.80]- We're in the middle of dinner. - So? [24:37.20] [24:37.20]So can you at least wait till dessert before calling our sona sodomite? [24:40.60] [24:40.60]How you can sit there and be so casual is beyond me. [24:43.00] [24:43.00]For starters, I knew this dinner was a bad idea the moment you suggested it. [24:46.60] [24:46.60]Well, at least I'm trying to be proactive. [24:49.10] [24:49.10]Please, there's no need to get upset. [24:50.40] [24:50.40]I am upset because there is a problem here, and no one seems to notice it but me. [24:53.80] [24:53.80]As far as I'm concerned, [24:55.20] [24:55.20]if Andrew is happy with who he is, then it is our job to support him. [24:59.50] [25:07.80]Your father is into S&M. [25:10.20] [25:10.60]Bree. [25:11.20] [25:11.20]He makes me beat him with a riding crop, and I let him. [25:13.50] [25:13.50]It's no wonder you're perverted. [25:15.30] [25:15.30]Look who your parents are. [25:18.00] [25:23.80]Excuse me. [25:25.50] [25:28.10]What a fun night. [25:30.10] [25:30.10]You know, we should really do this again sometime. [25:33.30] [25:44.50]Hey. [25:46.10] [25:46.10]Hey -- good news. [25:48.60] [25:48.60]I know why you've been so furious at me. [25:50.80] [25:50.80]I haven't been furious at you. [25:52.00] [25:52.00]Oh, well, yes, you have, and I don't blame you. [25:55.00] [25:55.00]Men have been coming on to me left and right, [25:58.40] [25:58.40]and I just -- I've been having so much fun and just enjoying life, and -- [26:01.80] [26:01.80]what do I do? I throw it right in your face. [26:05.40] [26:05.40]I'd hate me, too. [26:06.50] [26:06.50]Mom, I don't hate you. [26:08.50] [26:08.50]Well, be that as it may, from here on out, [26:11.90] [26:11.90]I'm including you in all the fun. [26:13.90] [26:13.90]- The fun? - Mm-hmm. [26:15.20] [26:15.20]Your mother's come through. [26:17.80] [26:18.10]What have you done? [26:19.90] [26:20.10]You and I are going on a double date tonight. [26:22.10] [26:22.10]What? [26:22.80] [26:22.80]Tim has a friend from the box factory, [26:24.80] [26:24.80]and I thought the four of us could hang out, have a few drinks, some hors d'oeuvres, and -- [26:28.60] [26:28.60]forget it. [26:29.40] [26:29.40]Well, Susie -- [26:30.30] [26:30.30]Mom, I'm sorry. I'm just not in the mood to hang out these days. [26:33.80] [26:33.80]Susie, sweetie, please, I can't cancel now. [26:37.10] [26:37.10]Of course you can. [26:38.00] [26:38.00]Just call them up and tell them not to come over. [26:41.50] [26:46.10]Tim. [26:47.00] [26:47.00]Hi, Susie. This is --this is my buddy Lamont. [26:50.60] [26:50.60]I brought peppermint schnapps. [26:53.30] [27:06.10]I'm sure she's fine. [27:08.20] [27:08.20]She never leaves her mail sitting out there. [27:11.20] [27:11.20]I mean, how many times has she thrown ours away because we didn't pick it up the second it came? [27:15.50] [27:15.60]That would be five. [27:17.10] [27:17.10]I don't know, Tom. I think something's happened to her. [27:20.00] [27:20.00]Okay, so go overhand check on her. [27:21.70] [27:21.70]But if I'm wrong, then I'm sucked into a 2-hour conversation about bunions. [27:26.70] [27:26.70]Don't go check on her. [27:28.00] [27:28.00]Six months from now, [27:29.00] [27:29.00]when they find her mummified corpse at the bottom of the basement stairs, [27:32.00] [27:32.00]What do I tell the kids? [27:33.00] [27:33.00]"Oh, yeah, I let Mrs. Mccluskey die." [27:35.20] [27:35.20]Yeah, and why would they care? [27:36.70] [27:36.70]Like they're going to miss the dry cleaning coupons she hands out on Halloween. [27:40.70] [27:40.70]Tom. [27:42.00] [27:42.00]Listen, honey, what can I say? [27:44.20] [27:44.20]You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't, so, uh, good luck with that. [27:49.60] [27:50.30]Honey, I'm hating you a little bit right now. [27:52.90] [27:57.20]Hi, honey. Look at my new shoes. [28:00.30] [28:00.30]Yeah. [28:01.20] [28:01.20]Aren't they gorgeous? [28:02.40] [28:02.40]Honey, I'm trying to watch the game. [28:05.20] [28:06.50]Sorry. [28:08.40] [28:13.00]How'd you buy new shoes? [28:14.60] [28:14.60]Shh. Talk later. You're watching the game. [28:17.40] [28:17.40]No, I want to talk about it now. [28:20.20] [28:20.20]You don't have any money, so what's the story? [28:21.90] [28:21.90]Oh, you've heard it before. [28:23.60] [28:23.60]Girl meets boy, boy buys girl things, girl leaves happy. [28:27.90] [28:28.30]What did you do? [28:29.00] [28:29.00]You know, I forgot how generous men could be. [28:32.00] [28:32.10]I also forgot I have options -- a whole bunch of them. [28:35.40] [28:35.40]What the hell are you talking about? [28:36.40] [28:36.40]I don't need your credit cards, Carlos, and I don't need your money, [28:39.70] [28:39.70]but if our marriage is going to work, I need your respect. [28:43.10] [28:43.40]I'm not ripping up the post-nup. [28:44.70] [28:44.70]Yes, you are. [28:46.80] [28:46.80]Because if you don't, I'm going to put on my new shoes and walk out the door. [28:52.10] [28:52.50]You're threatening me. [28:53.50] [28:53.50]No, I'm just pointing something out. [28:55.80] [28:55.80]I'm a pretty girl, and pretty girls are never lonely. [29:00.60] [29:15.80]Stop -- I'm really ticklish. [29:18.90] [29:20.20]So, uh, children's books, right? [29:22.80] [29:22.80]Don't! That tickles! [29:24.20] [29:24.20]Well, I hope you know how lucky you are. [29:25.50] [29:25.50]Not everyone gets to realize their bliss. [29:29.20] [29:29.20]Yeah, it can be rewarding. [29:32.30] [29:32.80]Why don't you join me? [29:34.70] [29:38.30]No. [29:39.50] [29:39.50]I'm really ticklish. [29:41.90] [29:42.50]Come on! [29:43.60] [29:43.60]What's wrong? [29:45.00] [29:45.00]For god's sake, Tim, she's ticklish! [29:46.70] [29:46.70]How many times do you have to be told? [29:48.70] [29:48.70]Oh, plfft. This is so much fun. [29:51.10] [29:51.10]Come on, let's find another CD. [29:53.40] [29:53.40]Mother, don't you think it's getting a little late? [29:56.40] [29:56.40]Come on. [29:58.30] [29:58.70]You haven't even finished your schnapps. [30:01.20] [30:08.70]The perfect capper to the perfect evening. [30:11.40] [30:11.40]So good night. [30:13.00] [30:13.00]It's been lovely, and, Lamont, good luck with all your inventions. [30:16.90] [30:16.90]Well, it's only 11:30. [30:19.50] [30:19.60]I want to hit the clubs. [30:21.70] [30:21.70]Well, I know a great place just off the interstate. Come on. [30:24.00] [30:24.00]Let's warm up the old war wagon. [30:26.10] [30:26.10]Mom, hold it! [30:28.30] [30:28.80]You are not getting into the car alone with those two. [30:31.40] [30:31.40]You barely know them. [30:32.50] [30:32.50]I have great instincts about people. [30:35.20] [30:35.20]I always have, Susie. You know that. [30:37.30] [30:37.30]You've been married four times. [30:38.60] [30:38.60]Yes, but twice to the same guy. [30:42.30] [30:44.00]Mother. [30:45.50] [30:45.50]Susie, please, you are embarrassing me. [30:47.50] [30:47.50]Oh, I'm embarrassing you? [30:49.30] [30:49.30]Yes, and I've had it. [30:51.60] [30:51.60]All night long, I've been trying to get you to stop being so crabby, [30:55.30] [30:55.30]and you refuse to let me help. [30:57.90] [30:58.30]And -- and your idea of helping is letting Tim just grope you? [31:01.90] [31:01.90]Hey! You shouldn't talk to your mother like that. She's a fine lady. [31:05.20] [31:05.20]Tim, could you just stay out of it? [31:07.00] [31:07.00]Yeah, mind your own business. [31:09.30] [31:09.30]Hey, what's your problem, pal? [31:10.40] [31:10.40]Dude, you were feeling up her mother. It pissed me off, too. [31:14.10] [31:14.10]Come on, Susie. Let's go back inside. [31:17.30] [31:17.30]"Let's go back inside"? Lamont, give it up. [31:19.40] [31:19.40]You're not getting any. [31:22.10] [31:24.10]Why are you being this way? [31:25.60] [31:25.60]Just -- I'm just trying to lighten things up. [31:28.20] [31:28.20]Stop acting like tonight was about helping me. [31:31.30] [31:31.30]You wanted to go out and have fun, and Lamont over there needed a date. [31:35.00] [31:35.00]- That's not true. - Oh, yes, it is. [31:37.60] [31:39.30]Okay, fine, it's true. [31:42.00] [31:42.00]I wanted to get out and have fun. Why shouldn't I? [31:44.80] [31:44.80]You know how depressed I've been over my breakup with Morty. [31:47.50] [31:47.50]Yeah, I do, and that's what makes me so crazy. [31:50.10] [31:50.10]You know, the difference between you and I -- [31:51.70] [31:51.70]that you could be heartbroken and you can just move on, [31:55.80] [31:55.80]and I... am just broken. [31:59.80] [32:04.70]I know you're sad. [32:07.30] [32:07.30]No, mom, I'm not sad. [32:09.60] [32:09.60]And I'm not crabby. [32:12.10] [32:12.40]I'm devastated, [32:14.00] [32:14.00]and you keep acting like all I need is a couple of aspirin. [32:17.30] [32:17.30]Morty was just one guy in a series of guys for you. [32:21.80] [32:21.80]And Mike... [32:24.30] [32:25.20]he was the one. [32:28.00] [32:28.30]Why don't you get that? [32:31.10] [32:36.80]It's Lynette. [32:38.60] [32:40.30]Hello? [32:42.00] [32:43.30]Mrs. Mccluskey? [32:46.00] [32:48.10]Mrs. Mccluskey. You all right? [32:50.30] [32:50.30]How did you get in here? [32:52.10] [32:52.10]Uh, Mr. Mullinshad a spare. [32:55.70] [32:57.10]Why didn't you open the door? [32:58.10] [32:58.10]Because I was hoping that you'd go away. [33:01.20] [33:02.50]Have you been taking your arthritis medication? [33:05.10] [33:05.10]I don't need to. Sometimes the pain goes away by itself. [33:08.40] [33:08.40]Uh-huh. [33:10.00] [33:10.60]Is that why you didn't open the door, because of your hands? [33:14.20] [33:15.60]Mrs. Mccluskey, do you have anyone that could help you out -- a relative, a friend? [33:22.00] [33:22.00]I'm fine. [33:24.50] [33:25.70]Okay. [33:28.20] [33:30.70]Okay. [33:32.70] [33:32.70]Uh... before you go... open these, would you? [33:36.40] [33:36.40]And -- and put out the pills. [33:39.20] [33:41.10]Yeah. [33:42.20] [33:42.60]And don't get your hands all over them. [33:44.30] [33:44.30]God knows what your kids have picked up. [33:46.00] [33:46.00]Last thing I need's a case of pinkeye. [33:48.90] [33:50.10]You're a piece of work. You know that? [33:52.80] [33:53.00]Well, this is crazy. Why'd they give you childproof caps? [33:55.60] [33:55.60]First thing Tomorrow, I'm taking you to the pharmacy, and we'll get you new bottles. [33:59.50] [33:59.50]Don't do me any favors. You don't even like me. [34:02.10] [34:02.10]I don't want you doing anything because you feel obligated. [34:04.40] [34:04.40]Let me tell you something. Half of life is obligations. [34:08.10] [34:08.10]You don't want to go to your husband's company Christmas party, but you do. [34:11.30] [34:11.30]You don't want to sell candy so your kid's band can buy piccolos, but you do it. [34:15.20] [34:15.20]You attend your third cousin's wedding. [34:17.30] [34:17.30]You pick up the dry cleaning. That's life --it's obligations. [34:21.80] [34:21.80]And you are now my obligation, [34:24.40] [34:24.40]so Tomorrow morning, I'll pick you up, and we'll go to the pharmacy. [34:27.00] [34:27.00]Gee, I'm touched by your outpouring of compassion. [34:30.20] [34:30.20]We don't have to be friends. [34:32.60] [34:32.60]But we're two human beings living on the same piece of earth. [34:37.20] [34:37.20]We can at least try and help each other out once in a while. [34:41.30] [34:45.40]And you know what? [34:47.30] [34:50.00]I am going to take this. [34:52.90] [34:53.50]Fine. [34:54.70] [34:54.70]I'll see you Tomorrow morning. [34:56.50] [34:56.50]Pick me up at 9:00. [34:58.80] [34:58.80]And don't be late. [35:00.40] [35:06.80]Andrew, come here. I want you to see this. [35:10.00] [35:13.00]Um, what are you looking at? [35:15.20] [35:15.20]I'm looking at your baby pictures. [35:18.30] [35:18.60]Look at that one. [35:20.40] [35:22.10]How old was I there? [35:23.20] [35:23.20]Just 4 weeks old. [35:26.00] [35:34.10]I never told you this, but when I gave birth to you, there were complications. [35:39.90] [35:40.50]The umbilical cord wrapped around your neck, and you stopped breathing. [35:45.10] [35:45.30]The room got very quiet, and I knew you were in trouble. [35:48.80] [35:50.60]So I turned to the doctor, and I very calmly said that he was not to worry about me, [35:54.70] [35:54.70]that his job was to save your life. [35:58.40] [35:58.40]When I say I would die for you, [36:01.60] [36:02.00]that's not an expression. [36:04.60] [36:05.50]I mean it. [36:07.80] [36:07.80]Yeah, well, uh... [36:10.60] [36:10.80]I'm going to go eat my sandwich. [36:13.70] [36:13.70]Andrew, please, just go and talk to Reverend Sikes. [36:17.40] [36:17.40]Oh, for god's sakes -- [36:18.30] [36:18.30]he can counsel you. It can help. [36:20.40] [36:20.40]Mom, I don't need any help, all right? I'm fine. [36:24.40] [36:25.20]Why do you keep going on about this? [36:26.80] [36:26.80]Because if you don't change who you are, then you won't go to heaven. [36:30.90] [36:36.90]You, um... [36:39.70] [36:39.70]you -- you don't think I-I'll go to heaven? [36:42.60] [36:42.60]No, I don't. [36:45.30] [36:45.70]And I need you there. [36:47.50] [36:47.50]I would be so lonely without you. [36:50.60] [36:55.80]Well... then I guess I better go talk to Reverend Sikes. [37:00.70] [37:00.70]Oh, Andrew. [37:02.80] [37:03.40]Thank you so much. You don't know how much that means to me. [37:07.50] [37:12.40]Oh, my -- my gosh. Uh, are you okay? [37:16.00] [37:16.00]Oh, yeah, I just, uh, fell down the stairs. I'm fine. [37:19.40] [37:19.40]What's up? [37:20.40] [37:20.40]Susan still loves you. [37:24.30] [37:25.00]Wow, um... okay. [37:28.30] [37:28.80]Look, this is not a good time for this conversation. [37:31.30] [37:31.30]She just misses you so much. [37:33.60] [37:33.60]Sophie, I just found out that someone I was very close to is dead. [37:37.80] [37:37.80]I've really got to figure out what I'm going to do, [37:39.60] [37:39.60]so I just don't have time to think about Susan right now. [37:42.60] [37:42.60]She's just very, very unhappy, and if you could just -- [37:45.70] [37:45.70]I really don't. [37:48.30] [37:48.30]I'm sorry. [37:51.00] [38:15.50]PAUL YOUNG [38:18.30] [38:24.70]I swear before almighty god I won't reveal a word that's said here today. [38:30.20] [38:30.70]Now... what's on your mind? [38:33.60] [38:35.90]Well, here's the thing -- I lied to my parents. [38:39.70] [38:39.70]I'm not gay. [38:41.50] [38:41.50]You're not. [38:43.00] [38:43.00]Not really. [38:45.60] [38:45.80]Look, all I know is I wanted to get the hell out of that camp, [38:49.20] [38:49.20]so I lied to my parents, [38:51.50] [38:51.50]and I told them that I was really worried that I was having feelings for other guys, [38:56.00] [38:56.00]and... they did exactly what I wanted them to. [38:59.60] [38:59.60]They are such tools. [39:01.20] [39:01.20]I'm sorry, just so I'm clear -- [39:03.80] [39:03.80]are you a heterosexual or aren't you? [39:06.60] [39:06.60]Look... I love vanilla ice cream, okay? [39:12.50] [39:12.70]But every now and then, I'm probably going to be in the mood for chocolate. [39:16.70] [39:16.70]You know what I'm saying? [39:18.60] [39:20.50]I do, but god would prefer you stick to the vanilla. [39:26.00] [39:26.30]I don't believe in god. [39:28.30] [39:28.30]You don't. [39:29.70] [39:29.70]No. [39:31.20] [39:31.20]Sorry. [39:33.20] [39:34.50]You know, your mother's going to be devastated. [39:36.00] [39:36.00]She's been praying so hard for you to change. [39:38.80] [39:38.80]Well, that's the good news. [39:41.10] [39:41.10]I am going to change -- big time. [39:43.80] [39:43.80]I-I'm not sure I follow. [39:46.50] [39:49.50]You know what my mom said to me last night? [39:53.00] [39:53.30]She said she doesn't think I'm going to heaven. [39:56.20] [39:56.40]Can you believe that? [39:58.90] [39:59.50]I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings, [40:02.60] [40:02.60]but the only way you can know paradise is by repenting your sins. [40:07.70] [40:10.30]When she said that to me, [40:13.20] [40:13.20]suddenly it hit me how I was going to get back at her. [40:16.30] [40:16.30]From now on, I'm going to be so good. [40:19.90] [40:19.90]I'm going to eat my vegetables, [40:22.60] [40:22.60]I-I'm going to get good grades, I'm going to say "yes, ma'am"and "no, ma'am." [40:26.50] [40:26.50]I'm going to make her believe that god has delivered her this little miracle. [40:33.50] [40:33.80]Until one day, when she least expects it, [40:38.20] [40:38.60]I'm going to do something so awful it is going to rock her world. [40:44.10] [40:44.10]I mean, it is really going to destroy her. [40:48.50] [40:49.80]And when that day comes... [40:52.20] [40:52.80]trust me. [40:54.40] [40:54.40]I'll know paradise. [40:57.80] [41:09.30]Yes, life is a journey, [41:13.30] [41:13.30]one that is much better traveled with a companion by our side. [41:18.20] [41:18.20]Of course, that companion can be just about anyone. [41:22.40] [41:22.40]Mrs. Mccluskey! [41:25.00] [41:25.30]We're going to be late for the doctor. [41:27.00] [41:27.00]A neighbor on the other side of the street... [41:29.80] [41:29.80]I'm coming. Jeez, hold your water. [41:32.90] [41:35.50]There you go. [41:37.40] [41:37.40]No more post-nup. [41:38.60] [41:38.60]Or the man on the other side of the bed. [41:42.40] [41:47.40]The companion can be a mother with good intentions... [41:51.40] [41:51.40]thank you for a wonderful service, Reverend. [41:53.40] [41:53.40]Thank you so much, Bree. [41:55.00] [41:55.00]Or a child who's up to no good. [41:58.30] [41:58.30]Very inspirational. [42:02.30] [42:05.50]Still, despite our best intentions, [42:08.90] [42:08.90]some of us will lose our companions along the way. [42:13.50] [42:14.40]And then the journey becomes unbearable. [42:17.90] [42:22.00]You see, human beings are designed for many things, [42:27.30] [42:28.60]but loneliness isn't one of them. [42:33.90] [42:34.87]The End [42:36.67]

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