Married, With Money
You fight over finances, right? Here’s how to keep the cash—and the passion.
Brian Greenberg is a college financial planner, but on a recent morning he felt more like a marriage counselor. The couple sitting in his office, near Cherry Hill, New Jersey, was seeking advice about applying for financial aid for the man’s son from a previous marriage. “When they walked in,” Greenberg recalls, “I could feel the hostility.”
The income from the wife’s business, which she had started before they married, was modest, but it was just enough to limit the amount of aid the son could receive. The husband wanted her to incorporate to reduce their income, thereby allowing the son to qualify for more aid. She didn’t want to go through the complicated incorporation process, but felt pressured by her husband. “He was saying, ‘I’m entitled to do what I want because I’m making the money that pays the bills,” recalls Greenberg. “That kind of thinking undermines a relationship.”
Much of this type of animosity can be avoided if only couples would talk about money before they get married, says Mary Claire Allvine, a certified financial planner in Chicago and Atlanta and co-author of The 7 Most Important Money Decisions You’ll Ever Make. Without this talk, it’s unlikely that couples have an actual plan for their lives together.
Studies have shown that disagreements over money are the No. 1 cause of friction in a marriage. And for some, they’re the No. 1 reason for divorce.
So why can some couples weather financial ups and downs while others split over a household budget? The key to success is to find the common ground—the shared values about how, as partners, you want to live your lives together. Here are some tips for executing a money plan without losing the passion.
Think big and put it in buckets
After couples have paid their fixed expenses, they often find themselves disagreeing over how to spend what’s left—pay off the credit cards or get that HDTV one of them has been craving.
To avoid such clashes, talk about your dreams. Allvine’s research says couples who don’t get bogged down with day-to-day budgeting details are usually the most successful with their money. “You can’t say to the spender, ‘Okay, you can only spend $50 a month.’It’s like putting people on a diet where they can last for a while but then they just binge and eat a loaf of bread. The spender will say, ‘I’ll cut back.’And then they start cutting out the extra cup of coffee. But it’s rarely the coffee that puts them in debt. It’s the home they can’t afford or the car they shouldn’t be driving.”
Allvine recommends sorting your big dreams—starting a business, owning a home, saving for a vacation—into categories, or buckets. “When you name the bucket, you know what that money is for, and you won’t use it for anything else. That’s how couples get to their goals—they pay themselves first for the big things.”
Everyone needs the prenup talk
As today’s couples marry later, or remarry, they face big challenges combining resources. One spouse may bring children from a previous marriage; another might be caring for elderly parents. The new-think says, rich or not, you may need a prenuptial agreement. “It makes sense to think things through early on,” says Mellody Hobson, president of Ariel Capital Management in Chicago.
But Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz, co-author, with her father, Charles Schwab, of It Pays to Talk, has a different take: “Not everyone needs to sign a prenup document—but everyone should have the prenup conversation.”
The point, says Schwab-Pomerantz, is to get an idea of each other’s money personality. “If someone has a lot of debt, that can reflect some personality issues that his or her partner needs to know about. How you deal with money is a reflection of who you are as a person.”
Put your goals on paper
“When a couple can agree on their spending,” says nationally syndicated radio talk-show host Dave Ramsey, “then they have agreed on their fears, and their goals. We don’t really fight about money. We are fighting about priorities, fears and power. A plan on paper brings a level of promise and cooperation and unity.”
Ramsey also recommends scheduling regular money meetings to talk about expenses. “It’s all about being open and on the same page. There are no secret credit cards, no secret debt, no secret student loans. No deception. It’s a matter of understanding what the expenses are. How much do we have to spend on birthdays? What about the groceries and cable bills, the soccer expenses? Life starts to show up in a real way when you talk about it in a meeting and put it on paper.”
Take a hike
How and where you discuss your finances is critical to keeping the peace, says Schwab-Pomerantz. “You want to make sure both parties are in a comfortable, neutral place. It’s also important to know ahead of time what you’re going to talk about.”
Schwab-Pomerantz and her husband hike every weekend in the mountains near their home in the San Francisco Bay area. “We’re away from our kids. We’re not sitting there facing each other, which can become confrontational. We can’t get mad and walk to another room. It’s just the two of us, and we get a lot of conversation in there about our goals and our priorities in life.”
Get it together
Financial independence is empowering, but many counselors say that living separate financial lives endangers a marriage. “Having his and her money is a recipe for disaster,” advises Greenberg. “That says one person is taking care only of herself or himself.”
The joint account sends a powerful message that your marriage matters. The account should be for joint goals: building a reserve fund, saving for college. A shared account, however, shouldn’t cancel out individual accounts.
Managing your money together may not seem like a romantic venture, says Greenberg. “But if there is a good financial foundation, there are a lot fewer issues for conflicts.”
As for the couple seeking financial-aid advice from Greenberg, they left his office, smiling, after he proposed a novel solution. The path to financial happiness is clear: communicate and plan together.
1. This passage mainly talks about .
A) Brian Greenberg’s experience of how of how to have a stable income
B) Brian Greenberg’s experience as a financial counselor
C) Brian Greenberg’s experience as a marriage counselor
D) Brian Greenberg’s experience of how to earn more money for your family
2. Greenberg believes that a couple’s relationship will be undermined if .
A) one of them think they can do anything because he or she pay the bills
B) they do not share an equal family financial burden
C) one of them think he or she entitled to pay the bills
D) they share a common band account
3. The top factor leading to an unhappy marriage is .
A) the fact that partners fight for finance
B) the fact that partners quarrel for their children
C) the fact that marriage partners do not agree on money
D) the fact that marriage partners disagree with each other on their child’s education
4. Some couples can weather financial ups and downs while others split over a household budget because .
A) they have different opinions on how to spend money
B) they have different financial background
C) some of them know the tips on how to stay in harmony with their partners
D) some of them make a money plan while other do not
5. Allvine recommends .
A) make a plan for everything you want to purchase
B) sort your big dreams into categories
C) sort your every dream into categories and discuss with your partner
D. carry out your financial plan immediately
6. Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz .
A) has long been a backer for a pre-marriage agreement
B) is not for pre-marriage conversation
C) like to talk about anything concerning pre-marriage document
D) think not everyone needs to sign a pre-marriage document
7. A written financial plan .
A) is always good for the couple at any time.
B) is a guarantee for the couple in their financial stability
C) guarantees a strong sense of mutual understanding between a couple
D) is not suitable for every couple
8. Choosing a right way and place to discuss finance is critical to .
9. Some counselors point out that might be a severe hurt to a marriage .
10. Greenberg satisfied the just now hostile couple with the solution of .
答案
【主旨概括】
本文從Greenberg的個(gè)人經(jīng)驗(yàn)出發(fā),對(duì)如何處理好夫妻間的財(cái)務(wù)問(wèn)題強(qiáng)調(diào)了制定經(jīng)濟(jì)計(jì)劃的重要性,同時(shí)提出了五點(diǎn)建議,即:Think big and put it in buckets(把重點(diǎn)事項(xiàng)納入財(cái)務(wù)計(jì)劃);Everyone needs the prenup talk(每個(gè)人都需要簽署婚前協(xié)議);Put your goals on paper(將財(cái)務(wù)計(jì)劃形成文字);Take a hike(夫婦一起外出旅行);Get it together(把收入放到一起)。
1. 【解析】 B)本題是一道主旨題,從文章的題目以及第一個(gè)小標(biāo)題上面的段落來(lái)看,本文主要講了Greenber作為一名財(cái)務(wù)顧問(wèn),對(duì)如何處理好夫妻間的財(cái)務(wù)問(wèn)題提出的幾點(diǎn)建議,這可以從后面幾個(gè)小標(biāo)題中看得出來(lái),因此正確答案是選項(xiàng)B)。
2.【解析】 A)根據(jù)專(zhuān)有名詞Greenberg,a couples relationship will be undermined,本題定位在文章第三段Greenberg對(duì)夫妻經(jīng)濟(jì)狀況和夫妻關(guān)系的看法。本段最后一句“That kind of thinking undermines a relationship.”這里Greenberg認(rèn)為的that kind of thinking是什么是我們解題的關(guān)鍵所在。沿著這個(gè)線索在前面發(fā)現(xiàn)“He was saying, ‘Im entitled to do what I want because Im making the money that pays the bills,’”通過(guò)上下文可以發(fā)現(xiàn)這正是后一句的that kind of thinking。所以Greenberg認(rèn)為破壞夫妻關(guān)系的是夫妻中一方有“我掙錢(qián)養(yǎng)家就應(yīng)該照我的意愿行事”這樣的想法。正確答案為選項(xiàng)A)。
3.【解析】 C)本題的定位詞是unhappy marriage。初一看,會(huì)覺(jué)得整個(gè)文章圍繞的都是這個(gè)核心,而無(wú)從下手,但按照題目中的另一個(gè)關(guān)鍵詞top即可以輕松在文章第五段找到類(lèi)似的表達(dá)。“…disagreements over money are the No. 1 cause of friction in a marriage… theyre the No. 1 reason for divorce.”因此,選項(xiàng)C)是正確答案。
4.【解析】 D)本題定位詞是household budget。因?yàn)槲恼碌诹沃?,作者提出了一個(gè)問(wèn)題“So why can some couples weather financial ups and downs while others split over a household budget?”意為“為什么有的夫婦能夠經(jīng)受的住經(jīng)濟(jì)上的大起大落,而有些卻因?yàn)榉课蓊A(yù)算這樣的小事情鬧分手?”這里作者只是想要用來(lái)說(shuō)明制定經(jīng)濟(jì)計(jì)劃的重要性,這在后面給出了本題的答案,因?yàn)樽髡呓酉聛?lái)就告訴我們?nèi)绾沃贫ㄓ?jì)劃來(lái)合理解決雙方的經(jīng)濟(jì)問(wèn)題,因此選項(xiàng)D)是正確答案。
5.【解析】 B)根據(jù)題目中的關(guān)鍵詞Allvine可以快速將本題的答案定位到第一個(gè)小標(biāo)題下的最后一段中的句子“Allvine recommends sorting your big dreams—starting a business, owning a home, saving for a vacation—into categories, or buckets”,從中可以得知正確答案為選項(xiàng)B)。
6.【解析】 D)根據(jù)題目中的關(guān)鍵詞Carrie SchwabPomerantz,本題定位在文章第二個(gè)小標(biāo)題下。本部分第二個(gè)小段中出現(xiàn)了一句話“But Carrie SchwabPomerantz…has a different take: Not everyone needs to sign a prenup document…”,從中可以判斷選項(xiàng)D)是正確答案。
7.【解析】 C)根據(jù)題目中的關(guān)鍵詞a written financial plan定位此題在第三個(gè)小標(biāo)題。第一個(gè)小段中有這樣表述“A plan on paper brings a level of promise and cooperation and unity”,而下面的一段中也用了多處文字介紹understanding的重要性,可以就此斷定選項(xiàng)C)是正確答案。
8.【解析】 keeping the peace根據(jù)題目中的關(guān)鍵詞critical定位到文章第四個(gè)小標(biāo)題“Take a hike”下的解題關(guān)鍵句“How and where you discuss your finances is critical to keeping the peace…”。因此可以從中推出答案。
9.【解析】 living separate financial lives本題定位在文章倒數(shù)第四段中。本段開(kāi)頭“…but many counselors say that living separate financial lives endangers a marriage.”文中的endanger和題干中的be a severe hurt to意義相同,因此可以輕松得出答案。
10. 【解析】 communicating and planning together根據(jù)題目中的關(guān)鍵詞Greenberg定位在最后一段“As for the couple seeking financial-aid advice from Greenberg, they left his office, smiling, after he proposed a novel solution. The path to financial happiness is clear: communicate and plan together”。其中的smiling吻合了題干中的satisfied,這樣答案也是顯而易見(jiàn)了。
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