無家可歸的時尚攝影師

It’s rather inconceivable that someone as talented and successful as New York fashion photographer Mark Reay might be homeless. Despite being handsome, well-groomed, and articulate – Mark didn’t actually have a home to go back to, after rubbing shoulders with the who’s who of the fashion world, for six long years.

像紐約時尚攝影師Mark Reay這樣有才華且成功的人居然會過著無家可歸的日子，這真是令人難以置信。雖然他長相帥氣、打扮得體且善于表達，但在時尚界打拼六年的他之前并沒有家。

When Mark graduated from the University of Charleston, he obviously had no idea that he’d be homeless for a major chunk of his adult life. In the beginning it was by choice – he backpacked around Europe as a young man and then worked as a model for four years in Brussels – the experience gave him the experience of a new “hand to mouth” kind of lifestyle that would help him immensely later in life.

當Mark從美國查爾斯頓大學(xué)畢業(yè)的時候，他并不知道自己會在成年時過著無家可歸的生活。剛開始這不過是他的選擇——年輕的時候他背著背包在歐洲四處晃，還在布魯塞爾當了四年模特。這樣的生活讓他體會到了吃了上頓沒下頓的艱辛。

He moved back to New York in the late ’90s to take care of his dying father, and took on a few modelling assignments to keep the cash flowing. He was able to afford a $200 a month apartment in West Chelsea then, but after his father died in 2000, things got tough again. It was getting hard to make a living off modelling, especially since age was no longer on his side, so decided to give fashion photography a go.

90年代末他搬回了紐約照顧他那瀕死的父親，同時還簽了幾份模特合同賺錢。那時他還能負擔起切爾西區(qū)兩百美元一個月的房租，可當他的父親在2000年去世后，他的生活又開始變得艱難起來。當模特賺來的錢基本難以維持他的生計，尤其是在他青春不再的時候，于是他決定嘗試時尚攝影。

“I knew the fashion world, so I’d go to the shows and hang around backstage taking pictures,” he wrote for The Guardian. “People knew me from my modelling and I got a few decent shots. I figured I might have an eye for it and maybe I could make some money from it. It sounds glamorous, but I never got the campaigns. That’s where the money is. I foolishly believed I would make a decent income.”

Mark寫道：“我了解時尚界，于是我去看各種秀并在后臺拍照。我當模特的時候認識了不少人，因此我拍到了不少好照片。我發(fā)現(xiàn)也許我攝影天分，于是決定靠攝影賺錢。這聽起來很光彩，但我根本沒有得到什么廣告活動，更別提賺錢了。我居然愚蠢地認為自己能賺不少錢。”

Things got so bad that soon Mark was living off his savings – he worked as a waiter and sold a few photo stories to websites, but none of it was enough to sustain a New York lifestyle. His first experience of being homeless eventually happened when he travelled to the south of France for a photography project. But like most good ideas the project didn’t produce any results. Worried that he’d outstayed his welcome at his friend’s place, he left for St. Tropez with his camera and laptop, and ended up sleeping in the hills.

很快Mark就要靠著自己的存款度日了。他邊當服務(wù)員邊賣照片給網(wǎng)站，但這些都不足以讓他過著體面的紐約式生活。他在去法國南部一個攝影項目的時候，面臨著第一次無家可歸生涯。他參加的那次項目根本沒什么結(jié)果，憂心自己在朋友那里會不受歡迎的他，帶著攝像機和筆記本去了圣特魯佩斯，睡在小山上。

“It wasn’t so bad to start,” Mark wrote. “I would store my laptop and cameras in a duffel bag in a garbage bag and hide it in the bushes. I had a small bedroll with me so I could sleep. I would get up at 6am, go to the park and head to the restaurants that had those outdoor sinks. I’d wash myself down, was my t-shirt or shirt so it could dry in the sun and slick my hair back with water and go sit in a cafe. Because I had a certain look, no one really questioned it. I just looked like a well-off man in shorts and a T-shirt. I had the confidence to just sit there, and I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

Mark寫道：“剛開始的時候事情并沒有太糟糕。我把我的筆記本和攝像機用行李袋裝起來，并用垃圾袋套上裝在灌木叢里。我睡在自己隨身攜帶的小睡袋里。早晨六點我會起來去有露天水槽的公園和餐廳，清理自己并洗衣服，在太陽底下晾干衣服后我會用水把頭發(fā)梳到腦后，再去咖啡廳。由于我外表體面，因此沒有人質(zhì)疑我。我看上去就像一個穿著短褲和T恤的富人。我有信心坐在這里，我知道自己并沒有做錯什么事情。”“So began a period of my life sleeping rough,” he wrote, but insisted that it was still a happy time. Although he lived off his dwindling savings, he always made it a point to treat himself to rotisserie chicken at night, along with a chilled rosé – the cheapest one he could find at mini markets. “At night, I would put on a fresh shirt and go to one of the fancy bars with my wine in my bag. Again, maybe because I had a certain look, no one ever checked my bag. I’d just go in, nick a glass off the counter and drink my wine surrounded by millionaires.”

他表示雖然這樣的生活很艱難，但那段時間里他很開心。雖然他靠著自己不斷減少的存款生活，但他晚上還會拿吃烤雞來犒勞自己，并買最便宜的玫瑰葡萄酒。他會將酒裝在包里，走進酒吧并從柜臺上拿杯子，自如地坐在百萬富翁中間喝自帶的酒。還是因為他外表得體，沒有人檢查他的包。

Mark wrote that this kind of lifestyle was okay for a while, but when he got tired of it, he moved back to New York again in 2006. He was completely broke, his family was in New Jersey, and he didn’t want to rely on his friends anymore. He moved into a hostel for a night using the money he earned from a backstage shoot, but when he woke up, he was covered in bed-bug bites. That’s when he remembered a friend’s rooftop in the East Village where they used to have cocktails. He snuck into the building and went to the rooftop the next night, and decided to stay there for a few days. And that ended up becoming his home for the next six years.

這樣的生活過了一段時間之后，Mark感到厭倦不已，于是2006年的時候他又重新搬回了紐約。他完全破產(chǎn)了，他的家人住在新澤西，他也不想再麻煩他的朋友。他用后臺攝影賺來的錢在旅館里睡了一晚上，但第二天醒來他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己身上被蟲子咬了。那時他想起來一個朋友曾在紐約東村的屋頂辦過雞尾酒會。他溜到那棟建筑里，晚上爬到樓頂睡覺，這里也成為了他接下來六年的居所。

“All I had were a few items of clothing and a thrift store blanket,” Mark wrote. “I got a cheap poncho, which I used to cover myself so I couldn’t be seen, and I put up a tarpaulin. It was September and it was manageable. I started to get a bit more work, but not enough to afford rent, so I figured I’d just stay there until I worked something out.” Instead of getting a home, Mark renewed his gym contract – only $70 a month – where he got access to showers, electricity, and a toilet. “I used to wash my clothes there – I had a few shirts, a pair of trousers, and socks – and dry them under the hand dryers.”

Mark寫道：“我只有幾件衣服和二手店里淘來的毯子。我有一個便宜的雨披，我會披上它避免自己被人看到，我還會蓋上油布。那年九月，我得到了更多工作，但還是付不起房租，于是我決定在我賺到足夠的錢之前都待在這里。”比起租房，Mark選擇去健身房，每個月僅需70美元就能讓他洗澡、充電和上廁所。他還在健身房洗衣服。

“That was my life. I’d get up, transform myself and go off to shoot these beautiful models at fashion week or on the street. As long as I was clean and fairly well dressed, no one questioned me. I told a few friends, but otherwise no one.”

“這是我的生活，我把自己打理好之后去拍攝時裝周上美麗的模特。只要我干凈且穿著得體，就不會有人質(zhì)疑我。”

Mark makes it sound easy, but of course it wasn’t – he had his share of difficult times. he had to let himself into the building carefully, without making any noise, climb several flights of stairs, hop a fence while risking death with a huge drop below, and get under a tarpaulin that served as his home. He would tip over his pee bucket, shivered in the cold, worried that people might discover him, and endured horrible weather. Electric storms were terrifying, so he constantly had to check the weather reports to see what was coming. He kept getting more work, but his assignments earned him about $30,000 a year, which was hardly enough to live on in New York.

雖然Mark這種生活聽起來很輕松就能做到，但實情并非如此。他要小心翼翼地潛入建筑免得被人看到，他爬到樓頂?shù)臅r候還會有生命危險。他會踢翻自己的尿桶，在寒風(fēng)中顫抖，擔憂其他人可能會看到他并忍受惡劣的天氣。雷暴非?？植?，因此他每天都會看天氣預(yù)報。他接的工作越來越多，但3萬美元的年薪并不足以供他在紐約生活。

Eventually, things got better to a point where Mark was able to get off the roof last summer. And interestingly, he’s come away from the experience with only positive thoughts. “It sounds peculiar, but you have to remember I’ve always been happy travelling around,” he wrote. “I don’t feel anything but lucky. I chose highly improbably careers; I mean, modelling, acting, and photography – they’re well known for economic uncertainty. But I get that it’s a peculiar situation, and I chose that peculiar situation.”

去年夏天Mark終于擺脫了屋頂生活。他寫道：“這聽起來很離奇，不過你要清楚我一直都樂意四處旅行。我覺得自己很幸運除此之外別無其他。我選擇了收入不穩(wěn)定的職業(yè)——模特、表演和攝影。但這是我的選擇。

“I feel invigorated. It’s an odd double life, and I’ve been alone, but I’ve never felt lonely.”

“我覺得精神煥發(fā)。這是一段古怪的雙重生活，雖然我一直是一個人，但我并不孤獨。”

Mark’s remarkable story was covered in a documentary called Homme Less, filmed by his friend and director Thomas Wirthensohn. It “captures a raw and unfiltered moment in time, our time, and raises the question of how far we are from losing everything, even our homes. How often do we have to pretend that everything is fine in order to keep up the facade of being a well-off member of society? And how far do we have to go to take the financial pressure off our shoulders to live a more carefree life, a life we aspire to live?”

Mark的故事被拍成了名為Homme Less的紀錄片，導(dǎo)演是他的朋友Thomas Wirthensohn。紀錄片令人們不住地想，我們離失去一切包括我們的家有多遠?我們曾多少次假裝一切都很好?為了過上一段更自在的生活，我們又在肩上承擔了多少經(jīng)濟壓力?