最精彩的神回復(fù)，笑到根本停不下來

心情不好一定要看些開心的東西，緩解一下低氣壓。

今天，給大家?guī)硪恍┚实闹杏⑽纳窕貜?fù)，內(nèi)容遍及知乎、微博、Buzzfeed等等，一起來看看。

01 中國哪里的姑娘最漂亮?

Where can you find the most beautiful girls in China?

微信朋友圈

Wechat Moments

02 請給出一句很有內(nèi)涵的詩句

Please name a thought-provoking sentence from a poem.

一懶眾衫小。

Once lazy, all your clothes get smaller.

03 如何理解“窮不是一種狀態(tài)”?

What's the meaning of 'poverty is not a certain situation'?

窮是一種常態(tài)。

It's the common situation.

04 問世上不會游泳的動物是?

What animals on earth can not swim?

媳婦和媽

Your wife and your mother.

05 如果被車撞飛10米遠(yuǎn)，爬起來之后說什么最帥?

What is the coolest thing to say after you got hit by a car and managed to stand up again?

下一輛!

Next!

06 媽，我是你的什么?

Mother, what am I to you?

因果報應(yīng)

My karma.

07 為什么前女友還會一直關(guān)注我呢?

What could be the reason that my ex still follows me on social networks?

知道你過得不好我也就放心了

Knowing that you still mess everything up makes my day.

08 為什么打群架的時候普遍會脫掉上衣?

Why do people usually take off their clothes when starting a gang fight?

假如脫掉褲子的話，總覺得有哪里不對，氣氛怪怪的。

Because it would be weird to take off your pants.

09 怎么反駁“你行你上啊”的邏輯?

How should I respond to 'You can you up'?

我評論個雞蛋不好吃，還得自己下個蛋啊?

So I need to lay an egg to criticize an egg's flavor?

10 如何一個月減肥40斤?

By what means can I lose 20 kilograms in a month?

截肢

Amputation.

11 怎樣含蓄地表達(dá)“我已經(jīng)被收買了”?

How can I subtly suggest that I've been compromised?

我說句公道話……

Let me say this impartially...

12 為什么你長痘痘?

Why do you have pimples?

因?yàn)槲铱蓯鄣妹芭荨?/p>

Because I'm just bubble-bubbly cute.

13 打雷的時候關(guān)窗戶有用嗎?

Does it work to close the window when it's thundering outside?

沒用的，我試過了。關(guān)了窗雷一樣在打。

No, it won't. I've tried. It was still thundering outside after I closed the window.

14 你見過哪些概率極小極小的事件?

What extremly-small-probability event have you witnessed?

20道完形填空，全錯。

Done a cloze test of 20 questions with 0 answer right.

15 妹子還書的時候夾了一張面巾紙，什么意思?

What does a girl mean when she return your book but with a facial tissue in it?

說明你對人家有意思。

This means you are paying extra attention to her.

16 兩千元人民幣，想出國窮游，可以去哪些國家?

To which country can I do a budget travel with 2,000 RMB?

秦魯齊蜀韓鄭魏楚趙燕吳等等...

For example, all the ancient countries that used to be China.

17 想養(yǎng)一只鸚鵡，教它說一些什么話好?

I wanna keep a parrot as pet. What would be cool to teach it to say?

救命，我被變成鸚鵡了!

Help! They've turned me into a parrot!

18 呆萌和腦殘的界限是?

What is the boundry between 'clumsy' and 'stupid'?

“和”

the "and"

19 為什么女生有體香，而男生沒有?

Why do women give out sweet scent but men don't?

化妝品腌入味了。

The makeup is fermenting.

20 男生說什么話，女生會覺得很大氣?

What would be manly for a man to say in front of a girl?

買

I'll pay.

21 熱戀是一種怎樣的體驗(yàn)?

How does it feel to love somebody insanely?

兩個長得像豬一樣的人，還怕對方被搶走了。

Two people who are on no aspect attractive worry about each other being stolen by someone else.

22 有什么贊揚(yáng)讓你比較尷尬?

Is there any compliment that makes you awkward?

人不可貌相啊。

We really cannot judge a book by its cover, can we?

23 你怎么一個人逛街啊?

Why are you shopping all by yourself?

半個人逛街我怕嚇著你。

I fear it would scare you to death if I were shopping all by no one.

24 單身兩年以上是什么體驗(yàn)?

How does it feel to be single for more than 2 years?

單身22年，不知道你說的是哪兩年?

I've been single for 22 years. Which 2 years are you suggesting?

25 地球外面那一層叫什么?

How do you call the outside layer of Earth?

香飄飄奶茶

Xiang Piao Piao milk tea.

26 要是在古代，姐的顏值能撐起整個青樓。

Back in the ancient times, a face like mine can hold a whole brothel.

你是說你長得像柱子嗎?

You mean you look like a pillar?

27 很高興為你服務(wù)。

I'm glad to be at your service.

你高興得太早了。

You'll find out you got glad too fast.

28 北冥有魚，其名為鯤。

Once in the northern sea, there was a fish and people called it Kun.

眾人食之，完。

And people ate it. The end.

29 媽，我能看電視嗎?

Mom, can I watch the television?

當(dāng)然可以啊，只要不打開就行

Of course you can, as long as it's turned off.

30 你得揣摩出題人的意圖。

You need to understand why they set this question in the first place.

他想我死。

They want me dead.

31 你知道嗎?你最終會變成你討厭的人。

You know what? You eventually become someone you loathe.

借你吉言，我討厭有錢人。

Thanks, I loathe people who are rich.

32 國慶去北京旅游有什么好建議嗎?

Gonna be traveling in Beijing during the National Day vacation. Any suggestion?

別去。

Don't go.

33 等我瘦了就回來找你

I'll come back for you when I get slim.

如果你不想見我，其實(shí)可以直說。

You can level with me if you don't want to see me.

34 有史以來最偉大的虛構(gòu)人物是誰?

Who is the greatest fictional character in history?

別人家的小朋友。

Someone else's child.

35 你看看別人家的男朋友，都是吃女朋友吃剩下的飯!!!

Look at other girls' boyfriends. They eat their grilfriends' leftover.

那你倒是給我剩點(diǎn)啊。

Sounds as if you ever left any over.

36 為什么秀恩愛通常選擇在中午?

Why do people always show off their relationships at noon?

因?yàn)樵缤頃袌髴?yīng)。

Because sooner or later karma will come to them.

37 請用一個詞來形容你的男朋友。

Please use one word to describe your boyfriend.

哪?

Where?

38 被人追了怎么拒絕?

How do I successfully reject someone who is pursuing me?

立即卸妝

Remove your makeup, right now, right there.

39 為了讓你好好學(xué)習(xí)，父母都給過你什么?

What did your parents give you to make you study harder?

這張臉。

This face.

40 參觀一個世界奇觀時，你最想了解哪些信息?

What do you want to know the most when you visit a World Wonder?

這附近有什么好吃的嗎?

What can I find to eat around there?

41 我要如何才能顯得很高冷?

How can I look high-end and cool?

搬去喜馬拉雅。

Move to the Himalayas.

42 為什么有的男生追女生追到一半不追了?

Why do some boys give up half-way pursuing a girl?

你倒是給個進(jìn)度條啊。

Why don't you display a progress bar?

43 為什么在洗完澡之后，有些人會覺得自己變漂亮了?

Why do some people find themselves prettier after they take a shower?

腦子進(jìn)水了。

The brain has water damage.