“請(qǐng)讓我的兒子恢復(fù)正常吧!”
I was a young Father.
那時(shí)我初為人父
My first born son had been diagnosed with Autism two years earlier.
兩年前,我的第一個(gè)兒子被診斷出患有自閉癥
His speech wasn't developing right.
他的表達(dá)能力沒有按照正常的規(guī)律發(fā)育
He had many repetitive behaviors.
他有很多刻板重復(fù)的行為
Often he would cry for a long time for no reason.
時(shí)常他會(huì)無緣無故的大哭很久
My daughter
而我的女兒
who had been born two years after him
比他晚兩年出生
was developing normally,
發(fā)育卻很正常
out-pacing her brother.
發(fā)育水平已經(jīng)超過了她的哥哥
My wife had been content with just the two of them
我的妻子對(duì)這兩個(gè)孩子感到心滿意足
but I'd wanted another son.
但我一直想要再生一個(gè)兒子
I wanted a normal son.
我想要一個(gè)正常的兒子
My ego wanted a son who would be just like me
我卑劣的希望有一個(gè)兒子,他和我一樣
and carry on the family name.
能夠延續(xù)香火
The doctors at the time had assured us that
當(dāng)時(shí)的醫(yī)生篤定的告訴我們
the chances were one in ten thousand
只有萬分之一的幾率
that we would have another child with Autism.
我們會(huì)再生一個(gè)自閉癥的孩子
Still, a part of me was afraid.
可是,一部分的我還是心存恐懼
When we discovered then that
后來,當(dāng)我們發(fā)現(xiàn)
my wife was pregnant with a boy again,
我的妻子又懷了一個(gè)男孩的時(shí)候
I remember saying this,
我記得自己曾這樣哀求
over and over and over.
一遍一遍又一遍的重復(fù)
As my third born child grew up,
當(dāng)我的三兒子逐漸長(zhǎng)大
however,
事與愿違
it soon became clear that
我們很快發(fā)現(xiàn)
the doctors had been wrong.
醫(yī)生們的話錯(cuò)了
It soon became clear that
很快事情就很清楚了
he had an even more extreme form of Autism
他的自閉癥十分嚴(yán)重
than his older brother had.
比他的哥哥更甚
While his brother had eventually learned to talk,
當(dāng)他的哥哥最終學(xué)會(huì)言談
read,
閱讀
and learn
學(xué)習(xí)的時(shí)候
my youngest son could say only a few words.
我最小的兒子只能說出寥寥幾個(gè)詞
His Autistic behaviors were much more severe.
他的自閉癥病狀更加嚴(yán)重
He had many crying fits
他會(huì)時(shí)常大哭
and would hit himself.
還會(huì)打自己
He tore things up
他會(huì)把東西撕碎
and broke things.
還會(huì)打碎東西
He had trouble relating to us
他與我們交流十分困難
and was mainly lost in his own world.
大部分時(shí)間都沉浸在自己的世界里
Life had said, "No" to my prayer.
命運(yùn)對(duì)我的祈求說了“不行”
The journey that followed
之后的生活軌跡
has been a long and difficult one
變得漫長(zhǎng)而艱辛
for my sons, my daughter,
對(duì)我的兩個(gè)兒子,我的女兒
their mother, and myself.
三個(gè)孩子的母親,和我自己都是如此
It still goes on today.
今天這旅程仍在繼續(xù)
It has been full of stress and pain
這旅途中充滿壓力和苦痛
but also learning and growth.
但也有學(xué)習(xí)和成長(zhǎng)
It forced all of us down a path
它讓我們不得不走向一條道路
we didn't want to go,
一條我們本不愿意走的路
but it was a path that led us all to greater love,
但這條路讓我們學(xué)會(huì)了更愛彼此
faith, and kindness.
學(xué)會(huì)信任,學(xué)會(huì)仁慈
In the end
最后
my two boys became my greatest teachers
我的兩個(gè)兒子都成為了我最好的老師
on how to live
教會(huì)我如何生活
and how to love.
如何去愛
My oldest son now is a fountain of kindness
我的大兒子如今已然是善意的源泉
who gives out hugs easily
他會(huì)十分輕易的給予擁抱
and happily.
并且樂此不疲
His younger brother still doesn't speak much
他的弟弟并不怎么說話
but has a laughter and innate joy
當(dāng)他笑起來的時(shí)候,總透出內(nèi)在的喜悅
that brightens my soul
那笑容照亮我的靈魂
each and every day of my life.
每一次,在我生活中的每一天都是如此
I often think that
我時(shí)常想到
if I could one day
如果有一天我也能夠
learn my oldest son's love
像我的大兒子那樣去愛
and my youngest son's joy
像我的小兒子那樣去喜悅
that I would know
我就會(huì)了解
how the happiest man in the world feel.
世界上最幸福的人是如何想的
I am no longer mad at my life
我不再對(duì)命運(yùn)心存怨恨
either for saying, "No" to my prayer.
即便命運(yùn)曾對(duì)我的祈求說“不行”
If He had said "Yes"
如果他曾說“好的”
I would never have become the person I am today.
我就不會(huì)變成今天的我這樣的人了
I wouldn't be writing this right now.
此刻我就不會(huì)寫著這篇文章了
I wouldn't be trying so hard to remind my readers
我也不會(huì)如此執(zhí)意的提醒我的讀者們
of just how lucky we all are.
我們是多么幸運(yùn)啊
Sometimes
有時(shí)
life says "No" to something we ask for
生活對(duì)我們所求的某事說“不行”
in order to give us something much better.
是為了給予我們某種更好的東西
Sometimes
有時(shí)
we don't know why
我們不知道
some of our wishes are answered
為什么自己的有些愿望能夠?qū)崿F(xiàn)
while others aren't.
另一些卻不行
All I know is that we are all loved.
我唯一知道的是,我們都被愛著
Life has a plan for us all.
生活早已為我們所有人都做出了妥善的安排
And sometimes
所以,有時(shí)
we just have to trust
我們只需要去相信
even if we don't know the answers.
就算自己不知道答案
Live your life with love then.
帶著愛意去過自己的生活吧
Trust in life
相信生活
to lead you down the path
它會(huì)引領(lǐng)你一路走下去
you are meant to go.
走向注定的方向
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