有時如何讓對話繼續(xù)是件難事,比如說下面這個場景有沒有一點似曾相似?
You’re talking to someone you have just met, and the conversation is starting to stall. With every passing second of silence comes more and more awkwardness. You rack your brain, trying to come up with a new topic, but your mind is blank. You make your excuses and then leave. As you walk away you start to ponder where it all went wrong
你和一個剛剛遇到的人說著話,但談話開始變得僵硬。隨著沉悶一分一秒的加劇,場面變得越來越尷尬。你絞盡腦汁試圖提出一個新話題,但你腦袋里卻是一片空白。你為自己找了一個借口離開了。當你走開的時候,你開始思考到底是哪里出了問題呢。
Don’t worry; it happens to the best of us. But knowing how to keep a conversation going is a great skill to possess. If you have trouble keeping a conversation going , you might miss an opportunity to get to know a great person. Here are 5 tips to make sure you never find yourself in that situation again.
不用擔心,即使是最健談的人也會碰上這種情況。但知道如何讓談話繼續(xù)下去,是一種極好的技能。如果你在這方面遇到了問題,那你極有可能錯失了認識一個還不錯的人的機會。這里的5個技巧將保證你不會再陷入那種尷尬境地。
1. Listen
傾聽
Intently listening to what the other person is saying is the best way to keep a conversation going. Many people forget that listening is an active task; nodding your head in acknowledgement without really paying attention isn’t going to help you. Taking a genuine interest and really paying attention to what the other person is saying will.
專注地傾聽對方所說的話,這是讓對話繼續(xù)的最佳方法。很多人忘記傾聽是一種主動行為;只是漫不經(jīng)心地點頭表示贊許卻沒有真正注意聽,這并不管用。但發(fā)自內心真誠的關注和用心傾聽對方所說的話可以幫到你。
Use their conversation to keep things going. For example, someone might say, “I went to Italy last year.” This one statement offers a great opportunity to keep the conversation going. You could ask, “Which part did you go to? How is the food over there? What was your favourite part of the vacation? Would you recommend going etc?” Actively listening offers endless ways to keep a conversation going.
利用他們的談話內容讓對話繼續(xù)。比如,有人會說:“去年我去了意大利。” 這句陳述提供了一個讓對話繼續(xù)的良機。你可以問:“你去了意大利的哪一個城市?那里的食物怎么樣?你最喜歡假期里的哪一部分?你會推薦別人去嗎?” 等等問題。主動傾聽為繼續(xù)對話提供了無限可能。
2. Ask open ended questions
問開放性的問題
Questions which require more than just a “yes” or “no” answer encourage people to talk for longer, taking the pressure off you. For example, if you ask, “Do you like this restaurant?” a one word answer might be given. However, asking, “What do you think of this restaurant?” offers a much greater possibility to keep the conversation going.
提出那些回答不是Y/N的問題可以鼓勵人們多談論,從而減輕了你身上的談話壓力。舉個例子,如果你問:“你喜歡這家餐館嗎?”那你得到的回復就是一句話。然而,假如你問:“你覺得這家餐館怎么樣?”,這就極有可能讓對話繼續(xù)不停。
3. Talk about your passions
談談讓你充滿激情的話題
Have you ever noticed that when you talk about something you are passionate about, time seems to flow? You are able to talk for hours without any awkward silences.
你有沒有注意到當你談論那些讓你充滿激情的話題時,時間似乎一晃就過去了。你可以說上好幾個小時而且還不會出現(xiàn)窘人 的沉悶。
If you find a conversation stalling, direct the conversation towards something you would have no trouble talking about; your passions.
如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)談話開始變得尷尬,那么把對話引導到你覺得談起來毫不費力的話題上:那些讓你充滿激情的事物。
4. Just say it
說出來
Sometimes you have no problem thinking up things to say. The problem is that you fear the other person won’t enjoy the subject you have in mind. This fear is usually unfounded. Next time you find yourself stuck in conversation, just say what is on your mind. You might just be pleasantly surprised.
有時想到說什么話并不是難事。但問題是你擔心別人對你的這個話題不感興趣。這種擔心通常是多余的。下次當你覺得自己陷入了談話困境,說出你腦中想到的就好了。你也許會大吃一驚!
5. Practice
練習
Now you know of some tips to keep a conversation going, it is time to put them into practice. No matter what your skill level, you can only become better by practicing.
現(xiàn)在你知道了一些讓對話繼續(xù)的技巧,那么是時候把它們應用到實際中去了。不論你的水平如何,你只有不斷地練習才能變得更好。
If you still lack confidence in your conversational skills, start off by talking to your family and friends. When you feel a little more confident, get out of your comfort zone. Start to talk to co-workers or complete strangers. Soon enough, you will be able to master the art of conversation.
如果你對自己的談話技巧缺乏信心,那么從與家人交談和與朋友交談開始。當你有了一點信心以后,然后離開你的舒適區(qū)域。開始和同事或完全陌生的人交談。很快你就能掌握談話的藝術。
Remember that sometimes the person you are talking with doesn’t want to be sociable. They might be lost in their thoughts, be having a bad day or simply don’t want to contribute to the conversation. Even the very best conversationalists would have trouble keeping a conversation going. In this scenario, it is best to politely excuse yourself and find someone else to talk to.
記住,有時和你談話的人并不擅長社交。他們可能陷在自己的想法中,或者遇到了不好的事,又或者只是不想交談而已。即使是最健談的人也會遇到談話不能繼續(xù)的情形。在這種情形下,最好的做法是為自己找一個委婉的理由離開,然后找另一個人談話。