海倫·凱勒自傳《我的生活》第31期

　　Mr. Anagnos was delighted with "The Frost King," and published it in one of the PerkinsInstitution reports. This was the pinnacle of my happiness, from which I was in a little while dashed to earth. I had been in Boston only a short time when it was discovered that a story similar to "The Frost King," called "The Frost Fairies" by Miss Margaret T. Canby, had appeared before I was born in a book called "Birdie and His Friends." The two stories were so much alike in thought and language that it was evident Miss Canby’s story had been read to me, and that minewas—a plagiarism. It was difficult to make me understand this; but when I did understand I wasastonished and grieved. No child ever drank deeper of the cup of bitterness than I did. I had disgraced myself; I had brought suspicion upon those I loved best. And yet how could it possibly have happened? I racked my brain until I was weary to recall anything about the frost that I had read before I wrote "The Frost King"; but I could remember nothing, except the commonreference to Jack Frost, and a poem for children, "The Freaks of the Frost," and I knew I had not used that in my composition.

　　阿納戈諾斯先生很欣賞我的《冰雪之王》，他還把故事登在了帕金斯學(xué)院的一份刊物上?？梢哉f(shuō)，這把我推到了快樂(lè)的頂點(diǎn)，但是片刻之間，我就從云端直墜地面。我剛回到波士頓不久，就有人發(fā)現(xiàn)了一篇同《冰雪之王》類似的故事，那個(gè)故事名叫《冰雪仙子》，作者是瑪格利特·T.肯拜小姐。這篇故事出自一本叫做《布萊迪和他的伙伴們》的書(shū)，而這本書(shū)早在我出生之前就出版了。無(wú)論在思路還是語(yǔ)言上，這兩篇故事是如此相似，令人不得不相信我曾看到過(guò)肯拜小姐的書(shū)，這就是說(shuō)，我的故事是一篇剽竊之作。起初我感到難以理解，但是搞明白后，我感到既震驚又傷心。沒(méi)有一個(gè)孩子像我這樣飲下了這么多的苦水。我感到顏面盡失。我令我最愛(ài)的那些人疑慮重重?？墒?，這一切怎么可能發(fā)生呢?我搜索枯腸左思右想，直到厭倦了回憶我讀到過(guò)的任何有關(guān)森林的故事。事實(shí)上，在寫(xiě)《冰雪之王》之前，我不記得看到過(guò)這類故事。也許杰克·弗羅斯特為孩子們寫(xiě)的一首叫做《寒冬奇想》的詩(shī)和冰雪有關(guān)，可是我絕對(duì)沒(méi)有在我的故事中使用到詩(shī)里的內(nèi)容。

　　At first Mr. Anagnos, though deeply troubled, seemed to believe me. He was unusually tenderand kind to me, and for a brief space the shadow lifted. To please him I tried not to be unhappy, and to make myself as pretty as possible for the celebration of Washington’s birthday, which took place very soon after I received the sad news.

　　雖然阿納戈諾斯先生深受困擾，但是他似乎相信我的清白。很快，這段短暫的陰霾消散了，他變得對(duì)我更加和藹可親了。為了讓他高興，我盡量掩飾自己的不快，我以最優(yōu)雅的舉止參加了華盛頓誕辰的慶典活動(dòng)，這件事就發(fā)生在我得到那個(gè)壞消息之后不久。

　　I was to be Ceres in a kind of masque given by the blind girls. How well I remember the gracefuldraperies that enfolded me, the bright autumn leaves that wreathed my head, and the fruit andgrain at my feet and in my hands, and beneath all the gaiety of the masque the oppressivesense of coming ill that made my heart heavy.

　　在伙伴們組織的假面舞會(huì)中，我扮演了谷物女神色瑞斯。我的身上圍裹著華麗的織物，頭上纏繞著亮閃閃的秋葉，手腳周圍布滿了果實(shí)和谷物;而在歡樂(lè)的氣氛之下，我的胸中則積蓄著深深的愁苦。

　　The night before the celebration, one of the teachers of the Institution had asked me a question connected with "The Frost King," and I was telling her that Miss Sullivan had talked to me about Jack Frost and his wonderful works. Something I said made her think she detected in my words a confession that I did remember Miss Canby’s story of "The Frost Fairies," and she laid her conclusions before Mr. Anagnos, although I had told her most emphatically that she was mistaken.

　　慶典活動(dòng)的前一天晚上，學(xué)院里的一位老師問(wèn)了我一個(gè)同《冰雪之王》有關(guān)的問(wèn)題。我告訴她，蘇立文小姐曾跟我介紹過(guò)杰克·弗羅斯特及其出色的詩(shī)作。我想我講的某些事情讓她產(chǎn)生了不切實(shí)際的想法，因?yàn)樗龔闹杏X(jué)察到了我對(duì)肯拜小姐的《冰雪仙子》記憶猶新，甚至認(rèn)為我坦白交代了自己的過(guò)錯(cuò)。雖然我一再重申她的錯(cuò)誤推斷，但她還是把自己的結(jié)論提交給了阿納戈諾斯先生。

　　Mr. Anagnos, who loved me tenderly, thinking that he had been deceived, turned a deaf ear to the pleadings of love and innocence. He believed, or at least suspected, that Miss Sullivan and I haddeliberately stolen the bright thoughts of another and imposed them on him to win hisadmiration. I was brought before a court of investigation composed of the teachers and officers of the Institution, and Miss Sullivan was asked to leave me. Then I was questioned and cross-questioned with what seemed to me a determination on the part of my judges to force me toacknowledge that I remembered having had "The Frost Fairies" read to me. I felt in every question the doubt and suspicion that was in their minds, and I felt, too, that a loved friend was looking at me reproachfully, although I could not have put all this into words. The blood pressed about my thumping heart, and I could scarcely speak, except in monosyllables. Even theconsciousness that it was only a dreadful mistake did not lessen my suffering, and whenat last I was allowed to leave the room, I was dazed and did not notice my teacher’s caresses, or thetender words of my friends, who said I was a brave little girl and they were proud of me.

　　于是，對(duì)我和藹友善的阿納戈諾斯先生認(rèn)為受到了欺騙，繼而對(duì)我們?yōu)楹葱l(wèi)清白而做的辯解充耳不聞。他相信，或者至少是懷疑，我和蘇立文小姐故意偷取了別人的思想精華，并且將其用作贏得他人贊賞的工具。我還受到了由學(xué)院教師和官員組成的調(diào)查法庭的質(zhì)詢，而蘇立文小姐則被告知要暫時(shí)回避。隨后，我被翻來(lái)覆去地問(wèn)訊，調(diào)查團(tuán)似乎下定決心要將我判定為曾讀過(guò)《冰雪仙子》。我認(rèn)為每一個(gè)引起懷疑的問(wèn)題都是他們主觀臆斷的結(jié)果;同時(shí)，我也感覺(jué)到了一個(gè)親密的朋友正在用責(zé)備的眼神看著我，只是我無(wú)法把這些感受用言語(yǔ)表達(dá)出來(lái)。我想一吐胸中的塊壘，但是除了幾個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的音節(jié)，我一句話也說(shuō)不出來(lái)。甚至連我的意識(shí)也變成了可怕的幫兇，它無(wú)法解除我的痛苦。終于，我被獲準(zhǔn)離開(kāi)了房間，我頭暈?zāi)X漲，根本沒(méi)有留意老師的擁抱和朋友們的好言安慰。朋友們都說(shuō)我是一個(gè)勇敢的女孩，她們?yōu)槲腋械阶院馈?/p>