68.點撥其心智,勝于助其回憶
點撥其心智,勝于助其回憶。前者需要思考,后者只需回憶。許多人不能在恰當?shù)臅r候做恰當?shù)氖拢皇且驗樗麄円粫r未能想起來。在這種情況下,朋友的提醒可讓他們看清事物的利弊。能審時度勢、提供當下所需是人的一大天賦--缺少了它,許多事就無法繼續(xù)。如果你有見事之明,就應為他人指點迷津。如果你沒有,就請他人幫助你。前者你要慎重,后者你要急切。為人引路時須謹慎行事,點到即可。如果事關(guān)當事人的利益,而你已提醒他小心,則更需講究這個技巧。一開始,你只需讓他有所領(lǐng)悟;如果還不夠,就應提供更多的信息。假使對方不以為然,你就應運用技巧讓他贊同。很多事情沒有結(jié)果,只是因為沒有嘗試罷了。
68.It is better to help with intelligence than with memory
It is better to help with intelligence than with memory. The latter needs only recollection, the former requires thought. Many persons omit what is appropriate to the moment because it does not occur to them; a friend's advice on such occasions may enable them to see the advantages. It is one of the greatest gifts of mind to be able to offer what is needed at the moment: for want of that many things fail to be performed. Share the light of your intelligence, when you have any, and ask for it when you have it not, the first cautiously, the last anxiously. Give no more than a hint: this finesse is especially needful when it touches the interest of him whose attention you awaken. You should give but a taste at first, and then pass on to more when that is not sufficient. If he thinks of No, go cleverly in search of Yes. Most things are not obtained simply because they are not attempted.