I Do a Lot of Office Fishing
by Richard Salmon
Some years ago, I started to look at the stars through high-powered binoculars and began reading books written by astronomers for people like me. I became an entranced stargazer for a while.
The men who have learned as much as we know about the universe point out that the sun is an insignificant, moderately hot star in a nebula where it is fixed. The Milky Way, which I have always wanted to spell “w-h-e-y,” is composed of our brothers and sisters, and we are all moving around a central hub. And the hub is moving toward some place, I don’t know where. My brothers and sisters are numbered in billions of billions, and our galaxy itself is one of many, many…how many, I don’t know.
Our sun is so small and our earth, its offspring, is so tiny that when I think of the magnitude, I think of what O. Henry described as a “Statue of What’s the Use.”
What difference does it make that I exist? What possible influence can I make, or my nation make, or a world make?
Where am I going on this ride and does it make any sense? Who’s the boss and what’s He got in mind?
That’s what I got to thinking…it’s all too big, too inevitable, too uncontrollable, and if I think about it with my eyes closed, it’s a pretty pessimistic picture.
Then one day I saw a hunting dog in the woods, an English setter flecked with black. His tail tangled with dock burs. This is a common occurrence to guys like me. I always want to stop and pull out the burs. But this time, out of nowhere, came the realization that this bounding, healthy dog was performing an important job: the job of transporting seeds that were constructed for the very purpose of hitchhiking. The fluff of milkweed sails on the wind to start a new colony miles from its original parent. This dog and its tangle of dock burs are all part of a plan. And so am I.
I believe the plan on this small, lonely earth is to make the best of it—a policy that is becoming increasingly more difficult as the number of human beings increases.
When I came to New York many years ago, I found that in big cities people live faster and decide things quicker than country folk. They have to, in order to survive in the struggle for existence.
Several times a week I slug it out with city dwellers for a place in the subway. They seem a bad lot. But when I pass a city dweller on a trout stream I find he’s just like other people. He’ll speak to me with interest, even warmth. He will ask me how many trout I’ve taken, what fly was successful. And I break down and tell him, and point out that perhaps the black gnat he’s using is too large.
I have tried to make the best of it by doing a lot of office fishing, some front porch fishing, and some quiet mulling about the magnificent things such as dock burs and remote stars. What’s more, I have found it fun; fun that has brought me a lot of happiness, a lot of contentment, and a lot of peace.
辦公室里的垂釣者
理查德.薩蒙
幾年前我開始用高倍望遠鏡觀察星空,按自己的想法解釋天文學家撰寫的天文學入門讀物。很快我就迷上了觀星。
迄今為止人類對宇宙的探索表明太陽不過是星云中極為普通的一顆燃燒著的恒星。銀河(我總想稱其為“星河”)里有許多顆地球的姊妹星球,大家都圍繞著同一個軸心旋轉(zhuǎn),而這個軸心又在向某個我不知道的地方移動。地球是銀河系里億萬星球中的一顆,而銀河系不過是許多星系中的一個。宇宙中到底有多少星系,我也說不清。
太陽在宇宙中是那么微小,太陽的孩子地球則更是微不足道,以至于我一想到地球的分量,就想起歐·亨利說過的那句話——“無用的化身”。
我的存在有何意義?我也好,我的民族也好,我的世界也好,我們的存在能起什么作用呢?
我生命的旅程向何處延伸,這個問題真的重要嗎?是誰主宰著整個宇宙,他在想些什么呢?
這是我得思考的問題……一切都那樣浩渺無邊、無法避免、無法掌控。當我閉上雙眼思考這一切時,腦海里便浮現(xiàn)出一幅令人相當悲觀的畫面。
有一天我在小樹林里看見一只長著黑色斑點的英國種塞特獵犬,尾巴上纏著幾根酸模芒刺。這種情況像我這樣的人在森林里經(jīng)常碰到,每次我都會停下來把刺拔掉。可這一次,不知道為什么,我突然意識到這只活蹦亂跳的獵狗身負著一個重要的使命:那就是把芒刺播撒到某個地方,這和司機讓陌生人搭個便車是同一道理。芳草花憑借風力離開故土,飄向自己新的家園;而這幾根芒刺靠的就是這只獵犬的尾巴。一切在冥冥中自有安排,我也是如此。
我相信微小而孤寂的地球應(yīng)妥善處理自己的一切——這一原則隨著人口增加而越來越難實現(xiàn)。
多年前我初到紐約之時,發(fā)現(xiàn)大都市里的生活和辦事節(jié)奏遠比小鎮(zhèn)上要快。人們必須如此,方可在激烈的競爭中生存。
我一個星期要擠好幾次地鐵,滿眼所見盡是面目可憎的都市人。但當我在溪邊釣鱒魚碰到一個城里人時,會發(fā)現(xiàn)他和其他人并無兩樣。他會饒有興致、甚至十分熱情地與我聊天,詢問我的戰(zhàn)果,或是請教關(guān)于魚餌的問題。我也會停下來,提醒他那塊黑蠓魚餌可能得掰小點兒。
就這樣,我努力妥善處理一切,在辦公室和自家院子里都像在溪邊垂釣時一樣,多與同事或鄰里交流,并常常靜下心來體味世間偉大的萬物,諸如那幾根芒刺,又或是遙遠的星辰。這樣做樂趣無窮,且讓我幸福,讓我滿足,讓我能求得內(nèi)心的寧靜。
附注:
理查德·薩蒙:是一名藝術(shù)家兼作家。
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