如何應(yīng)付難纏的老板

Dear Annie: Your column about staying in one's current job (for now) struck a chord with me, because I too am stuck working for a boss who drives me crazy. I've had a couple of other job offers, but I'm only 18 months away from being vested in this company's defined-benefit pension plan, and -- partly because I never stayed anywhere long enough to get vested before -- I think it would be smart to stick around at least until then.

親愛的安妮：您關(guān)于(目前)《堅守崗位不跳槽的4個理由》 的文章引起了我的共鳴，因為我現(xiàn)在的老板快把我逼瘋了。我也收到過其他的工作邀請，可再有18個月，我就能被納入這家公司的固定收益退休金計劃，所以我認(rèn)為至少在此之前，我應(yīng)該留下來。當(dāng)然，這在一定程度上是因為，我在其他地方從未等到能享受這種福利就離開了。

The problem is, I report to someone who is a classic example of the Peter Principle -- he's been promoted beyond his ability -- and he's making mistakes that are costing the company money and starting to damage our whole team's reputation with higher-ups and customers. He also has no sense of boundaries and emails or texts me at all hours of the day and night, and on weekends, over and over again, to ask about things that are not urgent at all. Do you have any suggestions for me? --Counting the Hours

可問題在于，我的上司是“彼得原則”的典型代表——他的地位與他的能力完全不符——他犯過的錯誤不僅讓公司蒙受了損失，也破壞了整個團(tuán)隊在高層和客戶當(dāng)中的信譽。而且，他沒有一絲一毫的界線感，不分晝夜的給我發(fā)郵件或者短信，連周末也不放過，一遍遍地問一些并不緊急的事情。您能給我一些建議嗎?——度日如年的人

Dear Counting: You probably won't be surprised to hear that about 75% of people who quit their jobs do so because they can't stand their bosses, according to a recent Gallup poll of more than a million U.S. employees.

親愛的C：蓋洛普民意調(diào)查(Gallup)最近對一百萬美國員工進(jìn)行了調(diào)查，結(jié)果顯示，辭掉工作的人中，有75%是因為忍受不了頂頭上司。聽到這些，你應(yīng)該不會感到驚訝了吧?

That's unfortunate, says Jayne Mattson, a senior vice president and executive coach at Boston-based career development firm Keystone Associates, because a little honest communication might go a long way toward fixing at least some of what bugs you. "So many people don't ever have a candid conversation with their boss about what's wrong," she notes. "Instead of trying to make the relationship better, they just leave -- and, too often, repeat the same mistake in their next job."

波士頓職業(yè)發(fā)展公司凱斯通聯(lián)合公司(Keystone Associates)高級副總裁兼高管導(dǎo)師杰恩•馬特森稱，這種情況非?？上?，因為只要一點真誠的溝通，就能解決你的一些煩惱。她說：“對于上司所犯的錯誤，許多人從來不會進(jìn)行坦誠的交流。他們不會努力改善與上司的關(guān)系，而是選擇離開——而通常情況下，他們在下一份工作當(dāng)中也會重復(fù)同樣的錯誤。”

In short, maybe you need to learn to manage your boss. "There are lots of things you can do to make yourself happier," says Mattson. "If you manage your boss well, he or she won't even realize you're doing it. You'll just get points for being really helpful." The key, she explains, is to get what you want by emphasizing how it would benefit him.

簡而言之，你或許需要學(xué)會如何管理你的上司。馬特森說：“要讓自己更快樂，你可以做很多事情。如果你管理上司的方法得當(dāng)，他或她甚至都不會有任何感覺。而你也會因為對上司有所幫助而獲得加分。”她解釋道，關(guān)鍵是通過強調(diào)他能獲得哪些好處來得到你自己想要的東西。

First, let's talk about those incessant texts and emails. About one-third (36%) of employees in a poll last month by consultants Right Management said they work for people who bombard them with emails after regular work hours, and another 15% complained of the same thing on weekends and vacations.

首先，來說一下不停發(fā)來的短信和郵件。睿仕管理咨詢公司(Right Management)上個月進(jìn)行的調(diào)查顯示，約有三分之一(36%)的員工表示，上司在正常工作時間之外，依然用電子郵件對他們狂轟濫炸，另外有15%抱怨在周末和假期也有同樣的遭遇。

It's easy to blame technology, and your boss's lack of boundaries, since both play a part, for sure -- but are you unwittingly encouraging these intrusions by answering them right away? "If you respond to every message as soon as you receive it, you're indicating that you're available," says Mattson. "Don't do that."

人們很容易把原因推到科技身上，而且你上司缺乏界線感，這確實是兩個方面的原因——但你是否總是立刻回復(fù)，進(jìn)而不經(jīng)意中助長了這種做法?馬特森說：“如果你收到每一條信息后便馬上回復(fù)，這其實是在暗示‘我有空。’所以，以后不要這樣做。”

Instead, wait until five or six of them have piled up in your inbox and then respond with a brief message of your own: "I see you have lots of questions about the Ostrich account. Let's meet first thing tomorrow morning (or Monday morning), when I can give you all the details, and discuss it." Then stop answering.

相反，要等到收件箱里積攢了五六封之后，再回復(fù)一條簡短的信息：“我看到你有許多關(guān)于某某賬戶的問題。我們明天上午(或者周一上午)一早就來解決這個問題吧。我可以告訴你所有細(xì)節(jié)，然后我們可以討論一下。”之后就不要再進(jìn)行任何回復(fù)。

"When you do meet, mention that you aren't always available to reply right away," Mattson suggests. "Your boss may not even expect you to. Rather than assuming that an immediate answer is required, clarify what it is he actually wants." There's always a chance you'll be pleasantly surprised. Even if not, by declining to answer every time he pings you, you'll have politely but firmly established the boundaries your boss seems to lack.

馬特森建議：“會面的時候，可以告訴對方，你并不是總有空馬上回復(fù)他或她的信息。你的上司或許根本沒指望你會馬上回復(fù)。所以，不要認(rèn)為必須立即回復(fù)，而是要弄清他真正想要的東西。”總有一天，你會收到驚喜。即便沒有驚喜，拒絕在他每次發(fā)信息的時候都進(jìn)行回復(fù)，你便可以堅定而又不失禮貌地確定了上司一直缺乏的界限。

Do this now, before you get any more ticked off about it, Mattson adds: "So many people suffer in silence for too long and then blow their stack. But if you have these calm, tactful conversations about relatively minor things, it builds a foundation of trust for when you have to tackle the really tough issues."

馬上就這么做，不要再為此而大動肝火。馬特森補充道：“許多人都在默默忍受，然后有一天突然爆發(fā)。但如果你能就這些相對次要的事情進(jìn)行冷靜的、有策略的談話，便能在你與上司之間建立信任基礎(chǔ)，更有利于你以后解決真正棘手的問題。”

One such issue, clearly: Those costly and reputation-tarnishing errors your boss has been making. "Does he know he's making these mistakes?" Mattson wonders. "Start by giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming he's unaware of the problem."

另外一個問題：你上司所犯的那些損失資金、損害信譽的錯誤。馬特森問道：“他知道自己犯錯了嗎?首先要對他進(jìn)行‘無罪推定’，假設(shè)他并不知道問題所在。”

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to point out what's going on without blaming anyone in particular. "Describe the errors in terms of the department or the team, and ask whether there's anything you can do to help prevent any more mistakes," Mattson says. "Instead of accusing the boss, make it more about the effect on the whole group. Above all, express concern for his reputation, as the leader, if the errors continue, and offer to help develop

你的任務(wù)(如果你愿意接受的話)是指出問題所在，但不要專門批評任何人。馬特森說：“從部門或團(tuán)隊的角度來描述這些錯誤，同時詢問自己能做些什么來幫助避免出現(xiàn)更多錯誤。不要指責(zé)上司，而是要多討論一下它對于整個團(tuán)隊的影響。當(dāng)然，要表達(dá)一下對上司信譽的擔(dān)憂，作為領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者，如果持續(xù)犯錯誤必將影響他的聲譽。同時主動提出幫助制定一些可行的解決方案。”

If this discussion leads nowhere, well, you did what you could. It's possible, though, that your boss knows things aren't going well and will react as if you had thrown him a much-needed life preserver -- which could be very nice for your own career, too. "If you really make it a priority to build a good rapport with this boss, and help him save face with higher-ups, who knows, you might even decide to stay beyond the next 18 months," Mattson says. It's worth a try.

就算討論沒有任何效果，至少你已經(jīng)盡力了。但也有可能，你的老板認(rèn)識到問題所在，還把你當(dāng)成了他潛在的“救命恩人”—— 這對你的職業(yè)發(fā)展非常有益。馬特森表示：“如果你真的把與老板和諧相處作為首要任務(wù)，同時幫他在高層面前保全了面子，在18個月后，你或許會選擇繼續(xù)留在這里，誰知道呢?”這值得一試。

Talkback: Have you ever had a difficult or incompetent boss? How did you deal with him or her? Leave a comment below.

反饋：你是否遇到過難相處的或不合格的上司?你是如何應(yīng)對的?歡迎評論。