與陌生人社交必用三十六計

小時候，爸媽總告訴我“不要和陌生人說話”。這份“不要XX”名單還包括：“不要接受陌生人的食物和糖果”、“不要上陌生人的車”等等。

WHEN I was a child, my parents always told me that I should never talk to strangers. This was part of a whole list of things I should never do: Never accept food or candy from strangers, never get in a car with strangers, and so on。

可如果我們不試著與陌生人講話，就交不到新朋友，連份工作也找不到，還將錯過與陌生人分享另一種生活的樂趣。

If we didn't start a conversation with strangers, we'd never make new friends. We'd never get a job. We'd miss out on the joy that comes from talking with unfamiliar people about their lives。

當你旅游時，注重與當?shù)厝藴贤茏屇懔私庠撎庯L土人情。此外，和其他同行者談天說地也不錯，這不僅能帶來實用的建議，聽到一些精彩冒險故事，說不定你還可以找到將來一起出行的旅伴!

Whenever you travel, it's important to converse with the locals to learn what life in the place you're passing through is like. It's also good to strike up a conversation with other travelers. You can get some useful advice, hear amazing adventure stories, and maybe even pick up a partner for future trips!

同樣的道理也適用于本地社交活動。在咖啡館、俱樂部與陌生人搭訕也能讓你交到新朋友，幸運的話甚至可以找到一個戀人。而且，這總比你一個人枯坐整個下午或晚上有意思多了。

The same thing applies to social settings closer to home. Talking with a stranger at a café or club could get you a new friend or even a romantic partner. It's also a much more entertaining way to pass the afternoon or evening than sitting alone by yourself。

更何況，在如今這個社會，想在事業(yè)上出人頭地就一定要有良好的人脈關(guān)系。你認識的人越多，就越有可能碰到那些能幫你帶來機會的人物。

And, in a world where getting ahead professionally often depends on personal connections, the more people you know, the more likely you are to find someone who can help you find opportunities。

下文將提供一些社交指南，教你如何與陌生人搭訕。讀了這個，你就知道什么該說，什么不該說，以及怎樣最大限度地把握每一場談話。

The following pages offer you the ultimate social guide, with some advice on how to mingle with strangers. You'll learn what to say, what not to say, and how to make the most out of each conversation。

開場白：如何打破沉默

Try breaking the ice

別只顧著低頭看鞋，走過去和生人打個招呼。當你意識到自己正與文化背景迥異的人面對面，以下這些開場白將幫你度過尷尬時刻。

Don't just stare at your shoes. Go say "Hi" to that new guy. The ice-breakers that follow will help you get through the embarrassing moments when you find yourself in front of people from different cultures:

英式開場白：天氣不錯，對吧?

British: 'Beautiful day, isn't it ?'

英國的天氣變化莫測。因此，天氣是英國人最關(guān)心的話題之一。談?wù)撎鞖鈺r有個簡單的秘訣：無論你是否同意說話人的觀點，都要回答“對”。這是因為英國人常以天氣為開場白，以達成一致立場，繼而轉(zhuǎn)談其他話題。

The weather in Britain is unpredictable. So, it's one of the topics the British care most about. And there's a simple rule governing weather-speak: Say, "Yes" whether you agree with the person's comment on the weather or not. That's because the British start a conversation using the weather so that they can find common ground and move on to something else。

法式開場白：你假期去哪了?

French: Where'd you go on holiday ?

如果想要接近法國人，最保險的方法就是問他/她最近的假期是怎么度過的。法國學生每2個月就有10-15天的假期。法國員工每年有6周多的假期。另外，法國人喜歡邊喝咖啡邊聊天。所以，你只要洗耳傾聽就好了。

To approach a French person, the safest bet is to ask about his or her last holiday. French students enjoy a 10-to-15-day holiday every two months. French employees get more than six weeks of holidays per year. And the French are famous for their sense of conversing over a cup of coffee. All you need to do is keep your ears open。

美式開場白：你來自哪里?

American: So, where are you from ?

美國幅員遼闊，人員流動頻繁。因此，地域就成了一大聊天話題。你可以把自己和其來處聯(lián)系起來，比如說，要是對方來自于洛杉磯，你就說：“哦，我有個朋友在那上學。他曾在街上見過好幾次布拉德-皮特呢!”這樣一來，你的新朋友肯定會給予熱情回復的。

The US is so big and people move so frequently that location is always a source of talk. You can try to find a connection with the place they're from. For example, if someone's from Los Angeles, you could say: "Oh, I have a friend who studied there. He says he saw Brad Pitt several times on the street." And you'll likely get an enthusiastic reply from your new friend。

如何在聊天網(wǎng)站打開話題

Conversation starters on Internet chat sites

“嗨，我在網(wǎng)上遭遇了各種各樣的奇人。” "Man, I've met some pretty weird characters online."(八卦一下你在網(wǎng)上遭遇的奇人，不僅是開心的談資，同時也打消對方的顧慮：你不是怪人。不過并不是所有人都喜歡評價別人，如果你覺得這個話題并不是你想聊的，也不要緊，你只需順勢轉(zhuǎn)換話題，比如 "It takes all kinds to make a world. What are your hobbies?"這個轉(zhuǎn)移話題的方法可以以此類推用到其他時候。)

“稍等一下，有些工作要做。” "Brb, gotta get some work done."(Brb= be right back，稍等。這一招兒是用來搪塞讓你討厭的網(wǎng)友的。說完后你可以把狀態(tài)設(shè)置為"離開"。類似的借口還有"brb, need to go pick up a friend"，理由越空越好，空得讓他插不上話。如果太"實在"，比如 "get a phone call or go to an event"，會成為對方搭訕的入口，臉皮厚的人也許會借機跟你要電話號碼或者申請加入你的活動，那就事與愿違了。)

“謝謝你傾聽我的故事。和你聊天真的很開心。” "Thanks for listening, I really felt at ease talking to you."(如果你聊得開心，直白地表達吧，特別是對偶然遇見的網(wǎng)友。如果對方跟你這么說，你可能會有點不好意思，即使你感覺不好也不必拒絕，你可以說 "Hey, no problem. Feel free to look me up whenever you need to talk.")

如何在俱樂部搭訕

Conversation starters at clubs

“和朋友一起來的么?” "So who're you here with?"(通常是男生問女生，這么問其實是打探對方是不是來約會的?；卮疬@個問題十分微妙，同樣是說"我跟異性朋友一起來的"，可能會有相反的結(jié)果。如果搭訕的男生讓你不感興趣，你可以說："Oh, I'm here with a friend. He's back there. See him?"知趣的男生就會知難而退了。如果你確實是被異性約來的，但是不太情愿，而對眼前這位還頗有感覺，你可以說"Oh, I shared a cab with a friend who's still dancing. Would you like to get a drink?")

“這里的酒保手藝不錯。” "The bartenders here make some pretty good mojitos."(如果你不好意思主動邀請對方喝酒，你可以這樣委婉地試探，如果對方有意思，他要么讓你買酒給他，或者請你喝一杯。如果你不想跟對方浪費時間，你可以用非常友好的語氣說："Cool, I'll tell my friends, thanks!")

“這通常人都這么多么?” "Is it usually this crowded?"(這實際是在試探對方是不是老出來玩兒。如果你不想讓別人知道你的情況，你可以說："Oh, I can still hear you/there are enough people."接下來自我介紹吧。)