怎樣優(yōu)雅地讓對方閉嘴？

How do you say “shut up” in a respectable way?

如何優(yōu)雅地說“閉嘴”?

獲得32.8k好評的回答@Abhishek Tr：

So you're stuck with some despicable ones and you want to break out of the moment huh ? Let me give you a hand here and bring out my list to make things easy for you. Try at your own risk.

這么說你是被某個卑劣的家伙纏住了，而且你想從聊天中解脫出來?我來幫幫你吧，下面列舉的方法能幫你輕松搞定。后果自負。

Boss - Non stop ranting for God knows why.

老板—沒完沒了地咆哮，老天知道為什么。

Me - Sir ! Do you hear that ?

我—老板，你聽見了嗎?

Boss - Hear what ?

老板—聽見什么?

Me - The silence.

我—安靜。

Girlfriend - How can you do this to me ! How can you forget that ? How can you not tell me ? Why, how, who, what, where ?!

女朋友—你怎么能這么對我?你怎么能忘了那件事?你怎么能不告訴我?為什么?怎么回事?是誰?什么?在哪兒?

Me - A good 30 seconds kiss.

我—吻30秒。

That should do.

這招應該管用。

Brother - Non stop crap about all his crushes in the universe.

哥哥—說起對宇宙的迷戀就廢話連篇。

Me - Fake faint.

我—假裝暈倒。

Best friend - Talks about some ancient archeological discovery about a broken pot for 40 minutes.

最好的朋友—關于一個壞了的古代罐子的考古發(fā)現(xiàn)說了40分鐘。

Me - Dude, please. My ears are bleeding.

我--大哥，求你了，我耳朵要磨出繭子了。

That's respect for him.

這是對他的尊重。

Relative - When are you getting married ? Why did you quit that job ? What's your salary ? What will you do next ?

親戚—你什么結(jié)婚?為什么辭掉那份工作?工資多少?接下來什么打算?

Me - Oh, Sorry. Were you talking to me ?

我—哦，對不起，你是在跟我說話嗎?

Professor - Blah blah. Bleh. Bleeheeeeh. Blah. And that's why you failed. Bluh bluuuh. You see…

教授—這個那個什么什么的，這就是你失敗的原因，等等等，等等等，你看……

Me - Joins both hands. Sir, can I take a loo break ? Can't hold back anymore.

我—握住對方的雙手。老師，我能去趟洗手間嗎?憋不住了。

Return after two decades.

過20年再回來。

Neighbor - Talks about politics and gossips on his/her neighbour.

鄰居—跟你聊政治和他/她鄰居的八卦。

Me - I can smell something burning. Is that your kitchen ?!

我—我聞到有東西糊了，是你家廚房嗎?

Vanish before he/she returns.

他/她回來之前就消失。

Random stranger - Shouts at you for no apparent reason.

路人甲—莫名其妙朝你喊。

Me - Act deaf and dumb. Keeps staring at his/her mouth until he/she stops.

我—裝聾作啞，盯著對方的嘴看直到他/她閉嘴。

Perfect.

完美。

Parents - Non stop complaining about Quora, mobile phone, laptop, late night rides, long calls and what not.

父母—沒完沒了地抱怨Quora，手機，筆記本，晚上出去，打電話時間長等等。

Me - Kiss. I'm sorry. I'll not do that again.

我—給他們一個吻。對不起，我再也不那樣了。

Who said I wouldn't ? Until next session, bubye.

誰說我再不那樣了?以后再說吧，拜。

This is what respect looks like when you're pissed off, but there's nothing you can do about it.

這就是你生氣時還要表達尊重的樣子，但你還是什么都不能做。