美國(guó)CNN著名主播安德森·庫(kù)珀回憶“瘋狂言論”，85歲的母親試圖為他代孕生孩子

“你的精子不應(yīng)該靠近你的媽媽，”霍華德·斯特恩在他的SiriusXM廣播節(jié)目中告訴安德森·庫(kù)珀。雖然這應(yīng)該是一個(gè)顯而易見(jiàn)的聲明，但不得不說(shuō)的事實(shí)是廣播中的一個(gè)特殊時(shí)刻。

A little context: Cooper's wonderfully eccentric mother, the late Gloria Vanderbilt, offered to carry the ashen CNN anchor's child years ago when she was still a spry and apparently womb-viable 85 years old, and Cooper discussed the hilarious tale on a recent episode of The Howard Stern Show.
一個(gè)小背景：庫(kù)珀古怪至極的母親，已故的格洛麗亞·范德比爾特，幾年前提出要懷上這位灰蒙蒙的CNN主播的孩子，當(dāng)時(shí)她85歲了，還很活潑，顯然可以生孩子。庫(kù)珀在最近一集的《霍華德·斯特恩秀》上討論了這個(gè)滑稽的故事。

"This is like eight years before I decided to have a child," Cooper began. "But my mom really wanted me to have a kid, and she called me up one time and she was like, 'Honey, there's something I really need to talk to you about.'"
庫(kù)珀開(kāi)始說(shuō)道：“這是我決定要孩子的八年前的事了。”。“但我媽媽真的很想讓我生個(gè)孩子，有一次她打電話給我，說(shuō)，‘親愛(ài)的，我真的有件事需要和你談?wù)劇?rsquo;”

Cooper had heard his mother say that one too many times in his life, so he braced himself for potentially having to "hide a body" and went over to his mother's apartment where she told him the most "amazing" news.
庫(kù)珀一生中聽(tīng)母親這么說(shuō)的次數(shù)太多了，所以他做好了可能不得不“藏尸”的準(zhǔn)備，然后去了母親的公寓，母親在那里告訴了他最“驚人”的消息。

"She was like, 'Well the most amazing thing happened,'" he recalled. "'I went to the gynecologist the other day,' — preface this, my mom was 85 at the time — 'and she said the most amazing thing, she told me I could still bear a child.'"
他回憶道：“她說(shuō)，‘好吧，最神奇的事情發(fā)生了。’”。“前幾天我去看了婦科醫(yī)生，”——在這之前，我媽媽當(dāng)時(shí)85歲了——“她說(shuō)了一句最神奇的話，她告訴我我還能生孩子。”

Having spent his life not reacting to his mother's "crazy statements" — which, he notes, helped him greatly in his career as a serious, unflappable journalist — Cooper agreed with Gloria that this was indeed "the most amazing thing" and began to wonder how he was going to talk his mother out of bearing a child.
庫(kù)珀一生都沒(méi)有對(duì)母親的“瘋狂言論”做出反應(yīng)——他指出，這對(duì)他作為一名嚴(yán)肅、冷靜的記者的職業(yè)生涯有很大幫助——他同意格洛里亞的觀點(diǎn)，認(rèn)為這確實(shí)是“最令人驚訝的事情”，并開(kāi)始想知道他將如何說(shuō)服母親不要生孩子。

"Which is a thought, I'm sure, we've all had," the former Madonna background "dancer" quips.
這位前麥當(dāng)娜背景的“舞者”打趣道：“我相信，我們都有過(guò)這樣的想法。”

To Cooper's relief, or not, Vanderbilt informed him that she wasn't planning on having her own child, but she just wanted to help him by carrying his potential seed.
讓庫(kù)珀松了一口氣的是，范德比爾特告訴他，她不打算生自己的孩子，但她只是想幫助他，帶上他潛在的種子。

Cooper's reaction: "I said, 'Mom, I love you, but even for you this is bats--- crazy.'"
庫(kù)珀的反應(yīng)是：“我說(shuō)，‘媽媽，我愛(ài)你，但即使對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)，這也太瘋狂了。’”

The 56-year-old eventually had two kids of his own without, one assumes, his mother's uterus.
據(jù)推測(cè)，這位56歲的老人最終有了兩個(gè)自己的孩子，沒(méi)有了母親的子宮。

"How great would that have been if you had impregnated your mother?" a thoroughly bemused Stern asks his guest, who clarifies that he wouldn't actually have been impregnating her.
“如果你讓你的母親懷孕了，那會(huì)有多好？”斯特恩非常困惑地問(wèn)他的客人，客人澄清說(shuō)他實(shí)際上不會(huì)讓她懷孕。

But...he kinda would've been, as Stern points out, leading to that little nugget of wisdom, "Your sperm shouldn't be anywhere near your mom."
但是正如Stern所指出的，他可能會(huì)導(dǎo)致一個(gè)小小的智慧，“你的精子不應(yīng)該靠近你媽媽。”