TED演講-口語練習(xí)：吵架的藝術(shù)

在TED演講節(jié)目中，演講者清晰的口語表達(dá)及其內(nèi)容的寫作手法都是值得我們學(xué)習(xí)借鑒的。在本期的TED演講中，演講者將表達(dá)“決定關(guān)系成敗的關(guān)鍵在于如何'吵'”的觀點。請結(jié)合視頻內(nèi)容，開始口語練習(xí)吧！

原文及翻譯

It's not if we fight that determines relationship success; it's how we fight. In fact, our researchers reveal that sun fighting actually increases connection and even improves our life. So, how do we fight right? We found that there were three major styles of conflict: avoiders, who just agreed to disagree; conflict validators, who would bring up an issue by expressing their feelings calmly and then jumping immediately into problem-solving; then there were the conflict volatiles, who would express their feelings intensely and very passionately, then leap into trying to prove that they were right. 

決定關(guān)系是否成功的不是我們是否吵架，而是我們?nèi)绾纬臣?。事實上，我們的研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，吵架實際上可以增進(jìn)聯(lián)系，甚至改善我們的生活。那么，我們?nèi)绾握_地吵架呢？我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，沖突主要有三種類型：回避者，他們只是同意持不同意見；沖突確認(rèn)者，他們會通過平靜地表達(dá)自己的感受來提出問題，然后立即投入到解決問題中；還有沖突易變者，他們會強烈而熱情地表達(dá)自己的感受，然后立即投入到試圖證明自己是對的中。

The couples who fight right will bring up the issue with what we call softened startup. Softened startup consists of a bunch of "I" statements that describe you and not your partner at all. You start with what you feel, then you describe the situation at hand, and then what you do need from your partner to make things better, rather than what you resent. Ending this win-lose mentality and leading a couple to a compromise that honors both people's dreams.

正確吵架的夫妻會以我們所說的“軟啟動”的方式提出問題。軟啟動包括一堆“我”的陳述，這些陳述描述了你而不是你的伴侶。你從你的感受開始，然后你描述眼前的情況，然后你確實需要你的伴侶做些什么來讓事情變得更好，而不是你怨恨什么。結(jié)束這種勝負(fù)心態(tài)，讓夫妻達(dá)成妥協(xié)，尊重雙方的夢想。

以上就是本期TED演講的分享，希望對您的口語、寫作水平都有幫助！您也可以訪問網(wǎng)站主頁，獲取最新的英語學(xué)習(xí)資料，全方位提升英語水平。