大學(xué)英語(yǔ)綜合教程學(xué)生用書(shū) Getting to the Airport

[00:00.00] Getting to the Airport [00:04.49]After years of study, [00:08.54]I have determined there are only two types of people in this world: [00:15.39]those who get to the airport early [00:19.64]and those who stroll in as the plane is about to take off. [00:25.91]If there were any justice in this world, [00:31.16]the early-airport people would be rewarded for doing the right thing. [00:37.41]And the late-airport people would be punished. [00:42.87]But there is no justice. [00:47.12]The early-airport people get ulcers, [00:51.96]heart attacks and bite their fingernails to the bone. [00:57.60]The late-airport people barely are aware they are flying. [01:04.05]I once found myself in an airport bar [01:09.69]with a man on the same flight as me. [01:14.76]Our flight had been called three times, [01:19.62]but he insisted we stay for another round. [01:25.05]"If we miss this one, [01:28.92]there's always another plane in an hour,"he said. [01:33.78]signalling for two more drinks. [01:38.32]"To Dhahran,Saudi Arabia?"I said. [01:43.78]"There isn't another flight for a week." [01:48.33]"I have a theory,"he said."If you miss your flight, [01:53.68]it's because God didn't want you to go." [01:58.62]This is clearly a guy who is never going go get an ulcer. [02:04.66]Early-airport people suffer another abuse. [02:10.40]They are called exactly what they are:wimps. [02:16.05]I know.I was an early-airport person for years. [02:22.60]My luggage will get on the plane first,I told myself. [02:28.24]Indeed it wil.Which makes it the last luggage [02:34.31]they take off the plane when you land. [02:39.06]You know who really gets his luggage first? [02:44.00]The late-airport person,who strolls into the airport three minutes [02:50.74]before the plane takes off. [02:54.89]The pilot is practically in the air [02:59.33]when these people are still paying off the taxi. [03:04.66]Then they make a big fuss at the gate in order to get their luggage on board. [03:11.40]And when we findlly take off,all us wimps know [03:17.15]that not only will that late luggage be the first off the plane, [03:22.89]but it is probably sitting on top of our luggage,crushing our shirts. [03:29.84]But if I get three real,real early,I told my old wimpy self, [03:36.29]I will get the best seat. [03:40.53]Well,just try to show up early and get the seat you want. [03:46.46]Go ahead and try. [03:50.58]No matter how early I showed up, [03:55.23]I was always told that someone had called two [04:00.38]or three years ahead of me and asked for that seat. [04:06.02]I figured it was a conspiracy. [04:10.67]I figured there was someone in America who called [04:16.03]every airline every day and said: [04:20.49]"Is that wimp Simon flying somewhere today? [04:25.93]If he is,give me his seat" [04:30.86]The ultimate embarrassment [04:35.23]of the early-airport person happened to me to few years ago [04:41.36]when I was flying from La Guardia to O'Hare. [04:46.54]When I got to the ticket counter, [04:50.87]the person there said:"Sir,you have a seat on the 9:15 a.m. [04:57.33]flight to Chicago,is that right?"\"Yes,"I said. [05:03.78]"Well,it's only 7a.m..,and the 7:05 a.m.flight has not left yet. [05:11.43]If you hurry,you can make it."Do you think so? [05:18.30]I was too embarrassed to say that I arrived at airports early [05:24.65]so I wouldn't have to hurry. [05:28.49]Instead,I ran down the corridor to the plane. [05:34.13]I climbed on board,out of breath,red-faced, [05:39.77]and stumbled over a woman's legs to get to the last unoccupied seat. [05:46.93]The woman I stepped over was no wimp.She had the guts to complain. [05:54.80]"You should get to the airport earlier!"she snapped at me. [06:00.44]"I was here early,"I said weakly."But then somehow I wasn't anymore." [06:07.20]After a lifetime of arguing over whether [06:12.64]I really have to pack 24 hours in advance [06:18.57]and set teh alarm clock four hours ahead, [06:23.29]I have learned one other fact. [06:27.34]about early airport people and later airport people, [06:32.88]They always marry each other.

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