給你老板的規(guī)定
Rules for Work (Should go over well with your boss.)
工作條例(應(yīng)得到老板的贊許)
Print it out and hang it over your workstation...
把它打印出來(lái)張貼在辦公室里。
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always waituntil 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge ofa deadline is refreshing.
1. 不要在早上給我布置工作。要等到下午4點(diǎn)鐘再說(shuō),挑戰(zhàn)最后期限的工作才有意思。
2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going.That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
2. 如果這是一份緊急工作,就每10分鐘跑進(jìn)來(lái)打斷我問(wèn)一下進(jìn)展。這很有幫助的?;蛘呖梢愿?,就在我身后轉(zhuǎn)悠,我每干點(diǎn)兒什么就提點(diǎn)兒建議。
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creativewhen someone asks where you are.
3. 你要出去時(shí),不要告訴任何人。這樣,有人問(wèn)起你時(shí),我的回答就可以很有創(chuàng)意。
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I needto learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training incase I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
4. 如果我手上抱滿了紙張、盒子、書本或是辦公用品,不要幫我開(kāi)門。我該學(xué)學(xué)像殘疾人一樣生活。不用手開(kāi)門就是很好的訓(xùn)練,這樣,萬(wàn)一我受傷失去手臂就沒(méi)問(wèn)題了。
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
5. 如果你一次交代給我?guī)准伦?,不要告訴我哪件更重要,我有心靈感應(yīng)。
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anythingto do. I have no life beyond work.
6. 盡你所能讓我加班吧。我熱愛(ài)這間公司,而且我真的沒(méi)地方可去也沒(méi)事可做。工作就是我生活的全部。
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
7. 如果我的工作做得讓你滿意,不要說(shuō)出來(lái)。如果說(shuō)出來(lái),就意味著要提升我了。
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I wasborn to be whipped.
8. 如果我的工作做得讓你不滿意,就說(shuō)出來(lái)吧。我喜歡同事們談?wù)撐?,我生?lái)就是挨批的。
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until thejob is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
9. 如果你對(duì)某項(xiàng)工作有特別的指示,不要寫給我。就留到工作快要做完時(shí)再對(duì)我說(shuō)吧。沒(méi)必要用些有用的信息來(lái)困惑我。
10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In thecorporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions willidentify them.
10. 不要把我介紹給和你在一起的人,我沒(méi)有權(quán)利知道任何事情。在公司組織中,我處于最底層。今后,你再提到他們時(shí),我自然會(huì)敏銳地推導(dǎo)出誰(shuí)是誰(shuí)。
11. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is lessfortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus checkyou received for being such a good manager.
11. 把你遇到的小問(wèn)題都告訴我。知道有人不那么幸運(yùn)的感覺(jué)很好。我尤其喜歡聽(tīng)那段,就是關(guān)于你這個(gè)成功的經(jīng)理要為你拿到的大筆紅利繳納高額稅費(fèi)。
12. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me amediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the moneyanyway.
12. 到我該做年終總結(jié)時(shí)再告訴我本年度的目標(biāo)是什么。給我一個(gè)不好不壞的評(píng)定,還有提高一點(diǎn)兒生活費(fèi)用,畢竟我在這兒工作不是為了賺錢的。