Hi,everybody,hi.I'm so happy,this is our first week of shows.
你們好嗎 我太開(kāi)心了 這是節(jié)目的第一周
And I'm happy to be back,doing what I love doing with the people I love doing it to
很高興能夠回來(lái) 對(duì)我喜歡的人做我喜歡做的事
So,thank you for letting me do what I do to you
謝謝你們讓我繼續(xù)做我對(duì)你們做的事
In case you missed our premiere show,I didn't fly my audience to Australia
可能你錯(cuò)過(guò)了我們的首映秀 我沒(méi)有把我的觀眾都送去澳大利亞
But,thanks to Ashton Kutcher,we all got to see the land down under
但是 得謝謝Ashton Kutcher 我們都見(jiàn)識(shí)到了下面的世界
People have been asking if Ashton was actually naked,he was wearing a nude color sock
有人懷疑Ashton是不是真的全裸了 好吧 其實(shí)他穿著一只膚色的襪子
Unfortunately it was on his foot.that's where the sock was
但不幸的是 他穿在了腳上 是的 襪子在腳上
And that was not the only scary thing that happened to me on saturday
但這并不是上周六發(fā)生的唯一一件嚇人的事
Listen to this,I'm not kidding around,I got struck by lightning
聽(tīng)我說(shuō) 我可沒(méi)開(kāi)玩笑 我被雷擊中了
Well I didn't,but my house did.But still scary
確切的說(shuō)不是我 是我的房子 但是仍然很嚇人吧
I don't know if you live here in Los Angeles,any of you,but there's a warning,I was watching TV
我不知道你們當(dāng)中有沒(méi)有人住在洛杉磯 當(dāng)時(shí)有警報(bào) 我正在看電視
and I heard the beeps.At first I thought wow Judge Judith swears a lot because
然后就聽(tīng)到了嗶嗶聲 剛開(kāi)始我還在想 朱迪法官可真愛(ài)飚臟話
And then it turns out the beeps were those emergency alerts
后來(lái)才發(fā)現(xiàn)嗶嗶聲原來(lái)是緊急警報(bào)
and warning that thunderstorms were in Los Angeles and I've only seen the emergency alert in Los Angeles only once before
暴風(fēng)雨要來(lái)了 在洛杉磯我只見(jiàn)過(guò)一次緊急警報(bào)
And it was a serious emergency,It was Jamba Juice who was out of wheatgrass
那可是非常嚴(yán)重的緊急情況 是他們?cè)谟眯←湶葑鋈话凸瓡r(shí)發(fā)出的聲音