百科知識視頻之煎蛋小學(xué)堂37 關(guān)于摩根弗里曼大叔的真相

Morgan Freeman was born in 1937.He narrated his own birth.Saying:Leaving the warm comfort of his mother's womb.I,Morgan Freeman,enter the world.Soon I will make my first poop.One of many in the life of Morgan Freeman.The first time Morgan Freeman saw himself crying in the mirror,He became old,and remained that way his whole life.From then on every time that Morgan Freeman cried,it rained in heaven.

摩根弗里曼出生于1937年。他為自己降生做了旁白。念到：離開了母親大人溫暖的子宮小屋。我 摩根弗里曼 來到了這個(gè)世界。不久我將會拉人生第一泡粑粑。這是摩根弗里曼一生要拉的眾多粑粑中的一坨。當(dāng)摩根弗里曼第一次在鏡子中窺見自己哭喪的臉龐時(shí)，他就變滄桑了 而且此后一生都保持那副面容。從那以后每當(dāng)摩根弗里曼掉眼淚，天堂就要下雨。

When Morgan Freeman makes a documentary film,he narrates it first,and then nature makes it so,The only reason that the sun rises each day is because Morgan Freeman narrated that sunrise in his dreams the night before,The only reason that you're alive right now is because Morgan Freeman is narrating your life as he does for billion and billions of other each day.And when you have a bout of diarrhea,Morgan Freeman narrates it so that you appear noble,at the mercery of nature and a taco.

當(dāng)摩根弗里曼拍紀(jì)錄片時(shí)，他先做好旁白，然后大自然按照他的腳本去演。太陽每天能照常升起的唯一原因就是 摩根弗里曼在前一天的夜里做夢為日出做了旁白。你至今還能歡樂蹦跶的唯一原因就是 摩根弗里曼正在為成千上萬和你一樣的人默念命運(yùn)的旁白。當(dāng)你蹲在廁所一瀉千里時(shí)，摩根弗里曼在為你做旁白 這樣你的形象就變高尚了起來，在上蒼的庇護(hù)下 還有煎餅果子。

Morgan Freeman goes through four or five microphones a day,because his voice turns them into bars of gold,which he uses to fund his quest to create a real Santa Clause.Morgan Freeman cannot be cloned because that would require unicorn tears.Morgan Freeman doesn't have sex.When he smiles,a baby simply appears in field fulll of kittens,Earthquakes are merely Mother Nature having an orgasm when she listen the March of the Penguins.Penguins didn't exist until Morgan Freeman made that movie.He's that good.

摩根弗里曼每天要經(jīng)歷4到5根麥克風(fēng) 因?yàn)樗纳ひ裟軐⑺鼈冏兂纱蠼饤l，這樣就能為他制造真圣誕老人的計(jì)劃籌集資金。摩根弗里曼無法被復(fù)制 因?yàn)檫@需要獨(dú)角獸的眼淚。摩根弗里曼從來不做愛 。他一微笑 一名嬰兒就會從一片咪咪的汪洋中悄然誕生。地震只不過是大地娘親 在聽摩根弗里曼配音的《帝企鵝日記》聽出高潮的表現(xiàn)。帝企鵝是直到摩根弗里曼拍了那部電影后才出現(xiàn)的。他就是這么棒。

If you're having a rough day,think about Morgan Freeman.Because he's certainly thinking about you,Morgan Freeman,Morgan Freeman.Morgan Freeman.Morgan Freeman,Morgan Freeman,Morgan Freeman,Morgan Freeman.

如果你經(jīng)歷了悲催的日子，想想摩根弗里曼吧。因?yàn)樗欢ㄔ谙胫?。摩根弗里?摩根弗里曼 摩根弗里曼摩根弗里曼 摩根弗里曼 摩根弗里曼 摩根弗里曼。