他其實(shí)沒(méi)那么喜歡你 第28期:不明確的戀愛(ài)關(guān)系

The "But He's out of Town a Lot" Excuse

“但是他經(jīng)常出遠(yuǎn)門(mén)”的借口

Dear Greg,

親愛(ài)的格雷格，

I've been seeing this guy for about four months.

我和這家伙戀愛(ài)四個(gè)月了。

He goes out of town a lot, so we're just doing thiscasual thing.

他經(jīng)常出遠(yuǎn)門(mén)，所以我們就是維持著不定期的關(guān)系。

But then we'll start spending some consistent timetogether, and just when I get up the nerve to have a"talk" about where the relationship is going, he has to leave town again.

但是接著我們會(huì)花一些固定的時(shí)間在一起，然后正當(dāng)我鼓起勇氣談?wù)勎覀儜賽?ài)關(guān)系的進(jìn)展時(shí)，他有要出遠(yuǎn)門(mén)了。

I feel stupid talking to him about things when he's just about to leave town.

我覺(jué)得在他要出遠(yuǎn)門(mén)的時(shí)候跟他談?wù)撨@些事情很愚蠢。

But when he gets back, I feel stupid bringing it up when we haven't seen each other in a while.

但是當(dāng)他回來(lái)之后，我覺(jué)得在彼此有段時(shí)間沒(méi)見(jiàn)的情況下重提此事也很蠢。

It's hard for me to broach this subject—we have such a nice time together that I don't want toruin it with a "relationship" talk.

提出這個(gè)問(wèn)題對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)很難，我們一起度過(guò)了許多美好的時(shí)光，我不想因?yàn)橐淮?ldquo;戀愛(ài)關(guān)系”的談話(huà)而毀了它。

Sighed Marissa

瑪麗薩

Dear Time Traveler,

親愛(ài)的時(shí)間旅行者，

Here's the little secret about some guys who travel: They look forward to leaving.

這是一些旅行者的小秘密：他們期待離開(kāi)。

They quite like having the frequent flier miles and the built-in escape hatch.

他們很喜歡飛行里程和內(nèi)置的逃生艙。

It's hard to hit a moving target.

移動(dòng)的靶子很難擊中。

There are ways to travel and be in a relationship, and there are ways to travel and make sureyou stay out of one.

有的方法可以一邊旅行一邊維持戀愛(ài)關(guān)系，有的方法可以在旅行的同時(shí)擺脫戀愛(ài)關(guān)系。

The easy way to know the difference is if the guy tells you all the time how bummed he is thathe has to keep leaving you.

最容易的區(qū)分方式在于男人是否一直在向你傾訴離開(kāi)你他有多么的煩惱。

If he is not making a serious effort to make sure that while he's out of town you don't go outand find someone else, then I think you've just boarded the he's-just-not-into-you jet.

如果他沒(méi)有十分努力以確保在他離開(kāi)期間你不會(huì)去找別人，那么我覺(jué)得你應(yīng)該知道你登上的是一架他并沒(méi)有那么喜歡你的飛機(jī)。

Buckle up. Greg

系好安全帶。格雷格

You have every right to know what's going on between you and someone you're knocking sockswith.

你有權(quán)知道你和自己同床共枕的人之間發(fā)生了什么。

And the more confident you are that you deserve that (and much more) , the more you'll beable to ask your big questions in a way that won't feel heavy and dramatic, I guarantee you.

你越自信你應(yīng)得的(以及更多)，我保證你更能在問(wèn)大問(wèn)題時(shí)不會(huì)感到沉重和戲劇性。

It's So Simple

顯而易見(jiàn)

From this moment on, right now, as you read this, make this solemn vow about your futureromantic relationships: no more murky, no more gray, no more unidentified, and no moreundeclared.

從這一刻開(kāi)始，現(xiàn)在，當(dāng)你讀這本書(shū)的時(shí)候，對(duì)你未來(lái)的愛(ài)情做出這個(gè)莊嚴(yán)的宣誓：不再困惑，不再陰郁，沒(méi)有更多不確定，也沒(méi)有更多不明。

And if at all possible, try to know someone as best you can before you get naked with them.

如果這些都可以實(shí)現(xiàn)的話(huà)，試著在跟人滾床單前先盡可能的了解對(duì)方。