他其實(shí)沒(méi)那么喜歡你 第42期:背叛還羞辱女朋友

So, if he had his way, this lovely month ofdishonesty would have turned into two months,three months...forever.

因此，如果按照他的做法，這種可愛(ài)的不忠將會(huì)持續(xù)2個(gè)月，3個(gè)月......或是永遠(yuǎn)。

Do all his apologies count for something?

他所有的道歉有什么價(jià)值呢?

Well, you can choose to believe he is sorry.

你可以選擇相信他很抱歉。

You can choose to believe he will change.

你可以選擇相信他會(huì)改變。

But in my book, lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who'sreally into you.

但是在我的書中，撒謊，出軌，隱藏正是真正喜歡你的人決計(jì)不會(huì)有的行為。

Sad and disappointed, Greg

難過(guò)而又失望的格雷格

The "He Has a Stronger Sex Drive Than I" Excuse

“他比我性欲強(qiáng)烈”的借口

Dear Greg, I have been dating a guy for a year.

親愛(ài)的格雷格，我和一個(gè)男人約會(huì)一年了。

I found out through a friend that he has beensleeping with someone I sort of know.

我從一個(gè)朋友處得知他跟一個(gè)我貌似認(rèn)識(shí)的人睡了。

I confronted him, and he told me that I don't givehim enough sex and that's why he's been sleepingaround.

我跟他對(duì)質(zhì)，他說(shuō)我沒(méi)能滿足他的性欲，所以他出軌。

He's right. Sometimes I don't want to have sex when he wants to.

他是對(duì)的。有時(shí)他想做愛(ài)，但是我不想。

It's not all the time, but he definitely does want sex more often than I do.

不是一直都這樣，但是他確實(shí)比我性欲更強(qiáng)烈。

So, in a way, he's right. Should I just forgive him and try to put out more?

所以，這方面來(lái)說(shuō)他是對(duì)的。我應(yīng)該原諒他然后加把勁么?

Signed Lorraine

洛倫

Dear Putting Out, The only thing you should be putting out is any of his clothes that are still inyour house.

親愛(ài)的加把勁，唯一應(yīng)該扔出去的是他所有在你家的衣服。

There is no excuse for him sleeping around. (Period! )

他的出軌沒(méi)有任何借口可言。(句號(hào)!)

There are so many ways to deal with the truly common problem of differing sex drives within arelationship.

戀愛(ài)中不同的性欲是真實(shí)普遍的問(wèn)題，有很多途徑來(lái)解決。

Usually one would start with an adult conversation wherein a discussion ensues that hopefullyresolves with the two parties agreeing to work on it—not him jumping in the sack with someoneyou know!

通常人們以成人間的對(duì)話開始，其中接著通過(guò)雙方都有意愿同意解決這個(gè)問(wèn)題——而不是他跟一個(gè)你認(rèn)識(shí)的人上床!

Not only does he not respect you or the relationship, he doesn't respect himself enough to be ina meaningful relationship.

他不僅不尊重你和這段戀情，而且在這段有意義的感情中對(duì)自己也不夠尊重。

This isn't even a question of "he's just not that into you."

這甚至不是一個(gè)“他并沒(méi)那么喜歡你”的問(wèn)題。

In this situation, if you like yourself at all, you should definitely not be into him.

在這種情況下，如果你真的愛(ài)惜自己的話，你決計(jì)不該喜歡他。

Shouting from a closed room, Greg

在附近房間咆哮的格雷格

These last two guys are good. They've betrayed their relationships and humiliated theirgirlfriends.

最后兩位哥們兒真行。他們背叛了自己的愛(ài)情，還羞辱了他們的女朋友。

Then they tell them that it's their fault, knowing that they have just done something that hasso demoralized them that they will be their most inclined to believe a load of horse crap.

然后他們告訴女友是對(duì)方的錯(cuò)，要知道他們做了些讓他們感覺(jué)沮喪的事，以至于他們更傾向于相信一堆馬糞。

If something is wrong in a relationship, here's a bright, mature idea: talk about it.

如果感情出現(xiàn)了問(wèn)題，明智成熟的做法就是：談?wù)劇?/p>

Don't let any man blame you for their infidelity. Ever.

不要讓任何男人把自己的不忠歸咎于你，永遠(yuǎn)都不要。

The "But at Least He Knew Her" Excuse

“至少他知道她”的借口

Dear Greg, I've been going out with a guy for about a year.

親愛(ài)的格雷格，我跟一個(gè)男人約會(huì)快一年了。

We are in love and get along great.

我們相愛(ài)并且處的不錯(cuò)。

Recently he met with his ex-wife who he hasn't seen in about a year. (She had left him becauseshe met someone else. )

最近他遇見(jiàn)了他快一年沒(méi)見(jiàn)的前妻。(她因?yàn)閯e人離開了他。)

They have been divorced about two years. They slept together.

他們離婚快兩年了，他們睡了。

I am very upset and want to break up with him.

我很生氣，想跟他分手。

He wants me to forgive him because it wasn't like it was someone new; it was his ex-wife.

他想讓我原諒他，因?yàn)楫吘共皇瞧渌吧耍撬拮印?/p>

Cheating is bad. Not knowing why you cheated is even worse.

出軌很糟糕。不知道你為何出軌更糟糕。

If one red flag isn't enough for you, how about two?

如果一面紅旗不夠的話，那兩面紅旗怎么樣?

Don't date any man who doesn't know why he does things.

不要跟連自己為什么這么做都不清楚的人交往。

The "But I've Gotten Fat" Excuse

“我長(zhǎng)胖了”的借口

Dear Greg, I had been dating a guy for about two years, and I thought things were going reallywell.

親愛(ài)的格雷格，我和一個(gè)人在一起兩年了，我覺(jué)得事情進(jìn)展的很順利。

After he came home from a family visit, he told me he slept with someone he met at a bar.

直到他探親回來(lái)告訴我說(shuō)他跟一個(gè)在酒吧遇見(jiàn)的人睡了。

I was devastated and asked him why he did it.

我很絕望，問(wèn)他為何如此。

He told me I had put on some weight and therefore he wasn't that attracted to me anymore.

他說(shuō)我增肥了，而且我對(duì)他不再那么有吸引力了。

I'm confused. He's right. I have put on about twenty pounds.

我很困惑，他是對(duì)的，我增肥了20磅。

Should I break up with him or start going to the gym?

我應(yīng)該跟他分手還是開始去體育館好呢?

Signed Beth

貝絲

Dear Twenty Pounds,

親愛(ài)的20磅，

I definitely think you should lose 175 pounds—in the form of your loser boyfriend—not thetwenty that you're talking about.

我覺(jué)得你應(yīng)該減去175磅——以你失敗者男友的形式——而不是你說(shuō)的那20磅。

He just cheated on you and called you fat.

他背著你偷吃，還說(shuō)你胖。

How many low- self-esteem protein shakes can one person drink?

一個(gè)人可以喝多少低自尊蛋白奶昔?

Using your weight as an excuse for his cheating is not only mean, but simply not valid.

用自己體重的借口去解釋他的出軌不僅卑劣，而且沒(méi)有依據(jù)。

If he has a problem with anything in your relationship, he's supposed to talk to you about it,not put-his-penis-in-a-strange-vagina about it.

如果他跟你的戀情中出現(xiàn)了問(wèn)題，他應(yīng)該跟你談?wù)劊皇前炎约旱膉b插到陌生人的陰道里。

And by the way, how's he going to react if you ever get pregnant or grow older and get a fewwrinkles? Or wear a color he doesn't like?

順便一說(shuō)，等你懷孕，變老，長(zhǎng)皺紋的時(shí)候他會(huì)如何表現(xiàn)?穿他不喜歡的顏色的衣服呢?

Get rid of this loser or I'm going to come to your house and get rid of him for you.

離開這個(gè)笨蛋，否則我會(huì)去你家里幫你擺脫他。