職場英語：為什么同事都不喜歡你

Why Co-Workers Don't Like You

Your co-workers are judging you. Beneath a veneer of professional collegiality, they're taking note of the mess on your desk, how loudly you chew, even your word choices.

Obviously, serious misconduct such as discrimination and harassment can lead to a job loss. But small irritants can hurt productivity and build walls between co-workers.

'Those little annoyances, like having a really sloppy work area or being a disgusting desk eater, can loom large,' says Charles Purdy, senior editor at jobs site Monster.com.

To avoid negative judgments from your co-workers, experts advise avoiding the following behaviors.

1. Sucking up to the boss

The boss's pet who ingratiates himself at the expense of his co-workers incites negative judgments, says Meredith Haberfeld, a New York-based executive and career coach.

For example, Ms. Haberfeld consulted for a human-resources company where a junior employee pointed out his co-workers' mistakes after errors had been made.

'He created ill will with his colleagues because he didn't ever go to them to provide any insights while he saw the ship sinking,' Ms. Haberfeld says. 'Nobody wanted to work with him.'

Trying to take work from your colleagues, or take too much credit, are also bad moves.

'These people are seen as overly self-interested and therefore untrustworthy and difficult to work with,' Ms. Haberfeld says. 'At a certain point, to go further in your career you need to not just be liked by your boss, you need support from your peers and people more junior.'

2. Negativity

The occasional bit of gossip can relieve stress. Too much can make you look bad.

'Sometimes it's fun to talk about the boss, but the person who is always complaining is widely disliked as well,' Mr. Purdy says. 'Toxic negativity makes people feel like you are not a good co-worker. People associate negativity with you.'

According to a 2011 Monster.com survey, respondents reported that among their co-workers' impolite behaviors, gossiping 'ticked them off,' along with texting during meetings, being too loud and leaving a mess.

Employees also are judged when they interrupt colleagues, or ignore or discount others' ideas, says Peter Post, author and great-grandson of etiquette expert Emily Post.

'Those are the kinds of things that people remember for a long time. You are really attacking the person and belittling them,' Mr. Post says. 'They see you as a bully, and don't want to interact with you.'

Complaining about 'inappropriate' behavior that is, at worst, slightly off is also a problem. 'It feels really condescending,' says Art Papas, founder of TheFit.com, a website where workers complete anonymous surveys about companies' cultures. 'Just because you're offended that doesn't mean you have to broadcast it.'

3. Messiness

Messiness, particularly in communal areas and shared workspaces, can breed negative judgments.

'Food that's left to become some sort of other thing in the refrigerator is really frustrating,' says Mr. Post.

According to a recent survey from staffing and consulting firm Adecco, a majority of respondents said people are most productive when their workspace is clean, though some view messiness as a sign of being busy, and others see it as an indication of laziness.

4. Poor cubicle etiquette

In offices with few doors and lots of cubicles, etiquette with regard to odors and noise is important.

Microwaving last night's fish dinner for lunch in your cubicle today is a no-no. And your co-workers can sense if you didn't clean up after bicycling to the office.

But a loud talker may be the top offender. 'If you need to concentrate and somebody is yapping, it can affect your work,' says Margaret Fiester, operations manager for the human-resources knowledge center at the Society for Human Resource Management.

5. Not fitting in

It's important to fit into an office culture. That can include how you dress, and what you say.

'I was in a meeting the other day and somebody dropped the S-bomb. The third time they did it, it became unprofessional,' Mr. Papas says.

There's also a code of conduct for email. 'Maybe someone is overly brusque, or is always putting urgent or cc'ing everything,' Mr. Purdy says. 'Bcc is almost always a dangerous idea.

'Transparency is important─it prevents you from seeming sneaky. If you are bcc'ing someone to get someone else in trouble, you are being the office jerk.'

同事們會對你評頭論足。在團(tuán)隊協(xié)作的面紗之下，你亂糟糟的辦公桌、你咀嚼時的聲音之大、甚至你的措辭都會被同事們記在心里。

Chip Wass顯然，歧視和騷擾等嚴(yán)重的不當(dāng)行為會導(dǎo)致你被解雇。但一些小問題也會影響工作效率，還會在你和同事之間筑起高墻。

招聘網(wǎng)站Monster.com的高級編輯查爾斯?珀迪(Charles Purdy)說，“這些讓人討厭的小事情都可能會成為大問題，比如工作區(qū)邋遢不堪，或者在辦公桌上吃相惡心。”

為防止同事對你做出負(fù)面評價，專家建議避免以下行為。

1. 巴結(jié)老板

紐約的高管和職業(yè)培訓(xùn)師梅雷迪思?哈伯費爾德(Meredith Haberfeld)說，為博取老板歡心而不惜犧牲同事利益的人會招致不滿。

比方說，哈伯費爾德曾為一家人力資源公司做過咨詢，該公司有一名資歷較淺的雇員會在同事犯錯之后指出他們的錯誤。

哈伯費爾德說，“他這種做法讓他和同事之間產(chǎn)生了矛盾，因為他看到船下沉的時候總是袖手旁觀。誰也不想和他一起工作。”

把同事的工作攬過來自己做，或者把太多功勞歸到自己名下也是不好的做法。

哈伯費爾德說，“這些人在同事看來是過于自私，因此不值得信賴，也很難共事。從某種意義上來說，要想在事業(yè)上有進(jìn)一步發(fā)展，你不僅要贏得老板賞識，也需要獲得與你資歷相當(dāng)以及比你資歷淺的同事的支持。”

2. 消極抱怨

偶爾八卦一下可以緩解壓力。但說太多閑話則會給人留下不好的印象。

珀迪說，“有時候八卦一下老板很好玩，但總發(fā)牢騷也會引起周圍人的厭惡。消極抱怨會讓人感覺你不是個好同事。人們會對你持否定態(tài)度。”

Monster.com 2011年的一項調(diào)查顯示，受訪者認(rèn)為在同事的不禮貌行為中，說閑話、開會時發(fā)短信、說話太大聲和留下一堆爛攤子都“令人惱火”。

禮儀專家埃米莉?波斯特(Emily Post)的重孫、作家彼得?波斯特(Peter Post)說，如果在同事說話時插嘴，忽視或者輕視其他人的看法，也會被同事挑刺。

波斯特說，“這些事情別人會惦記很長時間。你這樣做真的是在打擊和貶低別人，他們會覺得你盛氣凌人，不想跟你來往。”

為頂多算是略顯不妥的“失當(dāng)”行為大發(fā)牢騷也是一個問題。職業(yè)咨詢網(wǎng)站TheFit.com的創(chuàng)始人阿特?帕帕斯(Art Papas)說，“這種行為真的給人一種居高臨下的感覺，不是說你受到冒犯就應(yīng)該搞得眾人皆知。”職場人士可以在TheFit.com上填寫有關(guān)公司文化的匿名調(diào)查問卷。

3. 邋遢

邋遢(尤其是在公共區(qū)域和與別人共用的辦公區(qū)域)可能會引起同事的負(fù)面評價。

波斯特說，“把吃的東西放在冰箱里變質(zhì)真的讓人很不爽。”

招聘和咨詢公司Adecco近期的一項調(diào)查顯示，大多數(shù)受訪者稱，在整潔的工作環(huán)境中人們的工作效率最高。盡管有些人把雜亂視為工作忙碌的標(biāo)志，但其他人會認(rèn)為雜亂意味著懶惰。

4. 不注意“隔間禮儀”

在門很少、隔間很多的辦公室里，避免異味和噪音是很重要的。

千萬不要在你的隔間里用微波爐熱前一天晚上做的魚。還有，如果你騎自行車到辦公室之后不把自己收拾干凈，你的同事們也能覺察得到。

不過頭號大忌也許是說話聲音太大。美國人力資源管理學(xué)會(Society for Human Resource Management)人力資源知識中心的營運經(jīng)理瑪格麗特?菲斯特(Margaret Fiester)說，“如果你需要集中注意力，但有人卻在嘰里呱啦說個不停，這就會影響你的工作。”

5. 與辦公室文化格格不入

融入辦公室的文化是很重要的。辦公室文化中包括你的著裝和說話方式。

帕帕斯說，“前幾天我開會的時候有人罵了句臟話。他們第三次說臟話的時候，就顯得很不專業(yè)了。”

發(fā)電子郵件也是有規(guī)矩的。珀迪說，“有的人可能過于生硬唐突，或者總是在電子郵件上標(biāo)注緊急，或者什么都抄送。而密送在多數(shù)情況下都是一種危險的想法。”

他說，“公開透明很重要──讓你不至于顯得鬼鬼祟祟的。如果你為了打某位同事的小報告而把郵件密送給某人，你就成了辦公室里的混蛋。”