友達以上,戀人未滿?那么也許你可以加把油,因為研究顯示,多達三分之二的夫婦或情侶是從朋友開始做起的。相比浪漫的一見鐘情,還是日久生情更為普遍。
When Harryfirst met Sally, he asserted men and women could not be friends because the "sex part always gets in the way".
當哈利第一次遇見莎莉時,他曾宣稱男人和女人不能做朋友,因為“總躲不過性這一關(guān)”。
But new research suggests roughly two-thirds of couples start out as friends and maintain a platonicrelationship for long periods before sparking a romance.
但是新研究顯示,約三分之二的夫婦或情侶是從朋友開始做起的,在碰撞出愛情火花之前維持了很長一段時間的柏拉圖式的關(guān)系。
Danu Anthony Stinson, an associate professor in the department of psychologyat the University of Victoria, Canada, and her co-authors investigated the experience of nearly 1,900 university students and crowdsourced adults (including 677 who were married or in a common law partnership), all of whom were asked whether they were friends with their current romantic partner before they became romantically involved.
加拿大維多利亞大學心理學系副教授達努·安東尼·斯廷森和該研究報告的合著者們調(diào)查了近1900名大學生和參與眾包的成年人(包括677名已婚者或同居者)的經(jīng)歷,并向所有受訪者提出了一個問題:他們和現(xiàn)任伴侶在一起之前兩人是不是朋友。
Most participants (68%) reported that their current or most recent romantic relationship began as a friendship. The rate of friends-first initiationwas even higher among 20-somethings, with 85% of such couples saying their romance began as a friendship.
多數(shù)參與者(68%)報告稱,他們和現(xiàn)任或上一任伴侶就是從朋友開始做起的。始于友情的愛情在二十幾歲的人當中所占的比例更高,其中有85%的夫婦或情侶表示他們在成為戀人之前是朋友。
How does a platonic relationship turn romantic and what really is the distinction between friends and lovers is a question that is still being unpicked, Stinson said.
斯廷森表示,柏拉圖式的關(guān)系如何轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)閻矍椋约芭笥押蛻偃酥g的分界線究竟在哪里,仍然是未解的難題。
Some participants described holding hands, family introductions, going on trips together, cuddling by the fire, and even having sex, as friendship. Others categorised those exact behaviours as romantic.
有些參與者將牽手、把對方引見給家人、一起去旅游、依偎在爐火旁、甚至發(fā)生性關(guān)系都定義為朋友之間做的事,而其他人則認為這些都是戀人才做的事。
In the study, roughly 300 university students were also asked how long their "friends phase" lasted and whether they preferred to be friends before taking things in a romantic direction. On average, the "friends first" initiators were friends for nearly 22 months before the relationship turned romantic and almost half of the total sample thought that friends-first initiation was the best way to start a new romantic relationship, versusthe other options presented such as meeting at a party or online, the researchers wrote in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.
在這項發(fā)表在期刊《社會心理學與人格科學》上的研究中,近300名大學生被問及他們的“友情期”持續(xù)了多長時間,以及他們是否愿意在談戀愛之前先做朋友。研究人員寫道,從朋友開始做起的夫婦或情侶之間的友情平均持續(xù)了將近22個月才轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)閻矍椤O啾仍谂蓪ι匣蚓W(wǎng)上認識等其他選擇,近半數(shù)的受訪者認為先做朋友是開始一段新戀情的最佳方式。