讀《FT·金融時報》學(xué)英語：求人辦事該怎么說話
I know a woman who can get people to do whatever she wants.She can make busy executives give her their evenings, their thoughts and their money.On various occasions she has persuaded me to do things for her, just as she has enlisted thousands of others.
我認(rèn)識一位女士，她總能夠讓人們按她的意思辦事。她能讓忙碌的高管們?yōu)樗槌鲆雇淼臅r間，貢獻(xiàn)他們的想法，并且甘愿掏腰包。她曾在各種場合說服我為她做事，就如她曾經(jīng)說服無數(shù)人為她出力一樣。
I ran into her the other day and asked what her secret was.“It is not hard,” she said.“I just say please and thank you.”
有一天遇到她，我問她有何秘訣。“這種事不難，”她說，“我只是說了請和謝謝。”
Actually it is not quite as simple as that.Most people know how to say please and thank you—or think they do.Almost everyone was taught that before they went to primary school.But hardly anyone has been taught how to do it properly.
其實(shí)這事兒沒那么簡單。大多數(shù)人都知道怎么說請和謝謝——或者覺得他們知道。幾乎每個人在上小學(xué)之前都被教導(dǎo)要說請和謝謝。但幾乎沒人被教導(dǎo)過怎么正確地說請和謝謝。
Consider the following perfectly polite email I received recently from a man I know slightly.It began: “This year we are partnering with XXX to launch the second annual YYY conference.I know you are busy but we would love you to host a session on women in business on the Saturday.”It then went on at length about the theme of the year and offered a link to a video of the previous year's event.“Do let me know if that is feasible,”it ended.
看看一位不太熟的男士最近給我發(fā)來的一封非常禮貌的郵件吧。郵件是這樣開頭的：“今年我們將與XXX合作舉辦第二屆年度YYY會議。我知道您很忙，但我們希望您能在周六前來主持一個商業(yè)女性會議。”郵件接下來詳盡介紹了本年度會議的主題，并且提供了一個上一年會議的視頻鏈接。“如果可以的話請務(wù)必通知我，”郵件結(jié)尾寫道。
It was not feasible.Why would I give up a Saturday on the basis of watching a clip of a similar conference a year earlier?
這不可以。就看一段上一年類似會議的視頻，我憑什么要放棄一個周六？
The length of the email made me feel restive and inclined to hit the delete button.To be reminded that I am busy merely provided an excuse to decline.
這封郵件的冗長讓我感到煩躁，忍不住想點(diǎn)“刪除”。被他提醒我很忙，只不過為我提供了一個拒絕的借口。
Now consider this message from my other acquaintance.Its subject line read: “If only you would……” and the email continued “……join our panel on xxx.We have a lot of clever but worthy people talking, and we need your genius to liven it up.Please say yes.”
現(xiàn)在再看看我認(rèn)識的另一個人發(fā)來的郵件。郵件主題是：“要是你能來就好了……”，正文中寫道 “……加入我們有關(guān)XXX的討論小組吧。有很多聰明和值得尊敬的人參加我們的討論，我們需要您的天才讓討論生動起來。請答應(yīng)我們吧。”
What this does is cut to the chase—and the chase is flattery.The only truly effective way of saying please is to butter people up.There is no danger of ever laying it on too thick.There is no level at which flattery stops working, according to a study by Jennifer Chatman of the University of California, Berkeley.
這就叫做直奔主題——而主題就是奉承。唯一真正有效地說“請”的方法就是奉承。不存在奉承太過的危險。根據(jù)加州大學(xué)伯克利分校(University of California, Berkeley)的詹尼弗·查特曼(Jennifer Chatman)進(jìn)行的研究，任何程度的奉承都不會失效。
In addition to being flattering, the perfect please has to make you feel not only wanted, but also needed.I read the email and said yes at once.I knew how manipulative it was, but I could not help myself.
除了奉承，完美的“請”不僅讓你感覺人們希望你去，還讓你感覺他們需要你去。我閱讀了這封郵件，立刻就答應(yīng)了。我知道這封郵件是在操縱人心，但我就是忍不住。
Getting thank you right is just as easy, though just as uncommon.Consider the following failed attempt that landed in my inbox recently: “Thank you for talking at our function last week and for giving up your time.The feedback was excellent and we hope you enjoyed it.”
正確地說“謝謝”同樣容易，然而也同樣不常見。看看最近我收到的一封失敗的感謝郵件吧：“感謝您上周抽出時間在我們的活動上發(fā)言。反響非常好，我們希望您度過了愉快的時光。”
This was polite and professional.Yet it quite failed to do its job.For a start it was miles too slow—an emailed thank you should arrive within hours, not the following week.
這很禮貌和專業(yè)。然而卻沒能達(dá)到目的。首先這封郵件來的太慢了——感謝郵件應(yīng)該在幾小時內(nèi)送達(dá)，而不是等到下個星期。
Equally, to be thanked for your time is singularly ungratifying.Time takes no skill to give.To say the feedback was excellent was too vague to be convincing.And rather than ask if I had enjoyed it, it would have been better to attest how much they had enjoyed having me.
同樣的，因?yàn)槌槌鰰r間而被感謝讓人非常不快。抽出時間并不需要任何技能。說反響很好太模糊，無法讓人信服。而且，與其問我是否度過了愉快的時光，還不如說我的參加讓他們多么愉快呢。
In rejecting this message, I felt the spirit of my mother.She was a fiend with the thank-you letter.
不認(rèn)同這樣的感謝的我想到了我母親，她是個感謝信狂。
Every year on December 27 she sat us children down and made us write letters to everyone who had given us anything for Christmas.We had to specify what the present was, claim to be delighted with it, and (this was hardest) we had to say why.
每年12月27日，她會讓我們這些孩子們坐下來，給每一個在圣誕節(jié)送了我們東西的人寫信。我們必須具體描述那件禮物是什么，聲稱我們很高興收到它，而且還要說出原因（這部分是最難的）。
When we were done with thanking, we had to keep writing until half way down the second page before signing off.Three of my mother's four principles apply to the thank-you email.You thank specifically for the thing.You say why you liked it—and you must thank promptly.The only difference for me now is that I no longer have to rattle on for a page and a half.Indeed, the shorter the better.
在感謝完以后，我們必須繼續(xù)寫到第二頁的中間才能署上我們的名字。我母親的4條感謝信原則中有3條適用于感謝郵件。你要寫明具體感謝的事情；你要說出原因；你還必須立刻感謝。對我而言唯一的區(qū)別是我不再需要喋喋不休地寫滿一頁半。事實(shí)上，越短越好。
And this is exactly what my persuasive acquaintance did.“Extraoooordinary”, said the subject line of the thank-you email that was waiting in my inbox when I awoke the next day.“Thank you for bringing the evening to life and for scorching wit and sense.You are our own Tina Fey.”
我的那位特別會說服人的熟人就是這么做的。我第二天醒來的時候，一封標(biāo)題為“太棒了”的郵件已經(jīng)發(fā)到我的收件箱了。“感謝你讓這個夜晚生動起來，給我們帶來絕妙的才思和智慧。你就是我們的蒂娜·費(fèi)（Tina Fey，譯注：美國劇作家，喜劇演員，演員和制片人）。”
Actually, I had performed indifferently.I knew that—and so did she.We both understood the game she was playing.But no matter.The next time she asks me to do something, I will comply.
事實(shí)上，我表現(xiàn)一般。我知道——她也知道。我們都明白她玩的這套把戲。但是無所謂。下次她請求我做什么的時候，我還是會照做。
我認(rèn)識一位女士，她總能夠讓人們按她的意思辦事。她能讓忙碌的高管們?yōu)樗槌鲆雇淼臅r間，貢獻(xiàn)他們的想法，并且甘愿掏腰包。她曾在各種場合說服我為她做事，就如她曾經(jīng)說服無數(shù)人為她出力一樣。
I ran into her the other day and asked what her secret was.“It is not hard,” she said.“I just say please and thank you.”
有一天遇到她，我問她有何秘訣。“這種事不難，”她說，“我只是說了請和謝謝。”
Actually it is not quite as simple as that.Most people know how to say please and thank you—or think they do.Almost everyone was taught that before they went to primary school.But hardly anyone has been taught how to do it properly.
其實(shí)這事兒沒那么簡單。大多數(shù)人都知道怎么說請和謝謝——或者覺得他們知道。幾乎每個人在上小學(xué)之前都被教導(dǎo)要說請和謝謝。但幾乎沒人被教導(dǎo)過怎么正確地說請和謝謝。
Consider the following perfectly polite email I received recently from a man I know slightly.It began: “This year we are partnering with XXX to launch the second annual YYY conference.I know you are busy but we would love you to host a session on women in business on the Saturday.”It then went on at length about the theme of the year and offered a link to a video of the previous year's event.“Do let me know if that is feasible,”it ended.
看看一位不太熟的男士最近給我發(fā)來的一封非常禮貌的郵件吧。郵件是這樣開頭的：“今年我們將與XXX合作舉辦第二屆年度YYY會議。我知道您很忙，但我們希望您能在周六前來主持一個商業(yè)女性會議。”郵件接下來詳盡介紹了本年度會議的主題，并且提供了一個上一年會議的視頻鏈接。“如果可以的話請務(wù)必通知我，”郵件結(jié)尾寫道。
It was not feasible.Why would I give up a Saturday on the basis of watching a clip of a similar conference a year earlier?
這不可以。就看一段上一年類似會議的視頻，我憑什么要放棄一個周六？
The length of the email made me feel restive and inclined to hit the delete button.To be reminded that I am busy merely provided an excuse to decline.
這封郵件的冗長讓我感到煩躁，忍不住想點(diǎn)“刪除”。被他提醒我很忙，只不過為我提供了一個拒絕的借口。
Now consider this message from my other acquaintance.Its subject line read: “If only you would……” and the email continued “……join our panel on xxx.We have a lot of clever but worthy people talking, and we need your genius to liven it up.Please say yes.”
現(xiàn)在再看看我認(rèn)識的另一個人發(fā)來的郵件。郵件主題是：“要是你能來就好了……”，正文中寫道 “……加入我們有關(guān)XXX的討論小組吧。有很多聰明和值得尊敬的人參加我們的討論，我們需要您的天才讓討論生動起來。請答應(yīng)我們吧。”
What this does is cut to the chase—and the chase is flattery.The only truly effective way of saying please is to butter people up.There is no danger of ever laying it on too thick.There is no level at which flattery stops working, according to a study by Jennifer Chatman of the University of California, Berkeley.
這就叫做直奔主題——而主題就是奉承。唯一真正有效地說“請”的方法就是奉承。不存在奉承太過的危險。根據(jù)加州大學(xué)伯克利分校(University of California, Berkeley)的詹尼弗·查特曼(Jennifer Chatman)進(jìn)行的研究，任何程度的奉承都不會失效。
In addition to being flattering, the perfect please has to make you feel not only wanted, but also needed.I read the email and said yes at once.I knew how manipulative it was, but I could not help myself.
除了奉承，完美的“請”不僅讓你感覺人們希望你去，還讓你感覺他們需要你去。我閱讀了這封郵件，立刻就答應(yīng)了。我知道這封郵件是在操縱人心，但我就是忍不住。
Getting thank you right is just as easy, though just as uncommon.Consider the following failed attempt that landed in my inbox recently: “Thank you for talking at our function last week and for giving up your time.The feedback was excellent and we hope you enjoyed it.”
正確地說“謝謝”同樣容易，然而也同樣不常見。看看最近我收到的一封失敗的感謝郵件吧：“感謝您上周抽出時間在我們的活動上發(fā)言。反響非常好，我們希望您度過了愉快的時光。”
This was polite and professional.Yet it quite failed to do its job.For a start it was miles too slow—an emailed thank you should arrive within hours, not the following week.
這很禮貌和專業(yè)。然而卻沒能達(dá)到目的。首先這封郵件來的太慢了——感謝郵件應(yīng)該在幾小時內(nèi)送達(dá)，而不是等到下個星期。
Equally, to be thanked for your time is singularly ungratifying.Time takes no skill to give.To say the feedback was excellent was too vague to be convincing.And rather than ask if I had enjoyed it, it would have been better to attest how much they had enjoyed having me.
同樣的，因?yàn)槌槌鰰r間而被感謝讓人非常不快。抽出時間并不需要任何技能。說反響很好太模糊，無法讓人信服。而且，與其問我是否度過了愉快的時光，還不如說我的參加讓他們多么愉快呢。
In rejecting this message, I felt the spirit of my mother.She was a fiend with the thank-you letter.
不認(rèn)同這樣的感謝的我想到了我母親，她是個感謝信狂。
Every year on December 27 she sat us children down and made us write letters to everyone who had given us anything for Christmas.We had to specify what the present was, claim to be delighted with it, and (this was hardest) we had to say why.
每年12月27日，她會讓我們這些孩子們坐下來，給每一個在圣誕節(jié)送了我們東西的人寫信。我們必須具體描述那件禮物是什么，聲稱我們很高興收到它，而且還要說出原因（這部分是最難的）。
When we were done with thanking, we had to keep writing until half way down the second page before signing off.Three of my mother's four principles apply to the thank-you email.You thank specifically for the thing.You say why you liked it—and you must thank promptly.The only difference for me now is that I no longer have to rattle on for a page and a half.Indeed, the shorter the better.
在感謝完以后，我們必須繼續(xù)寫到第二頁的中間才能署上我們的名字。我母親的4條感謝信原則中有3條適用于感謝郵件。你要寫明具體感謝的事情；你要說出原因；你還必須立刻感謝。對我而言唯一的區(qū)別是我不再需要喋喋不休地寫滿一頁半。事實(shí)上，越短越好。
And this is exactly what my persuasive acquaintance did.“Extraoooordinary”, said the subject line of the thank-you email that was waiting in my inbox when I awoke the next day.“Thank you for bringing the evening to life and for scorching wit and sense.You are our own Tina Fey.”
我的那位特別會說服人的熟人就是這么做的。我第二天醒來的時候，一封標(biāo)題為“太棒了”的郵件已經(jīng)發(fā)到我的收件箱了。“感謝你讓這個夜晚生動起來，給我們帶來絕妙的才思和智慧。你就是我們的蒂娜·費(fèi)（Tina Fey，譯注：美國劇作家，喜劇演員，演員和制片人）。”
Actually, I had performed indifferently.I knew that—and so did she.We both understood the game she was playing.But no matter.The next time she asks me to do something, I will comply.
事實(shí)上，我表現(xiàn)一般。我知道——她也知道。我們都明白她玩的這套把戲。但是無所謂。下次她請求我做什么的時候，我還是會照做。
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