生活大爆炸 第六季:第9集:停車位(上)
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They are not. They are, too.
他們不一樣。就一樣。
Your hypothesis is completely disconfirmed by all the data.
種種數(shù)據(jù)顯示 你的假設(shè)完全不能成立
You're just clinging to it out of intellectual stubbornness.
現(xiàn)在純粹是你的智商在死鴨子嘴硬
No, you're displaying a shocking ignorance of the subject matter.
是你正表現(xiàn)出對(duì)談話主題的高度無知
Mummies and zombies are the exact same thing. Oh, yeah?
木乃伊與僵尸是一模一樣的東西。是嗎？
Mummies are wrapped in bandages.
木乃伊全身裹著繃帶呢
That's called a fashion choice.
那是人家的時(shí)尚風(fēng)格
All right, you brought this on yourself. Sheldon, get him.
好吧，是你自己自討苦吃。謝爾頓，說死丫的。
If a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie.
如果你被僵尸咬了你也會(huì)變?yōu)榻┦?/div>
However, if a mummy bites you, all you turn into is some schmo with a mummy bite.
但如果是木乃伊咬你你只會(huì)變成有木乃伊咬痕的白癡
So, like a zombie, that's been eaten from the waist down, you, sir, have no leg to stand on.
所以你就像是個(gè)被人啃掉下半身的僵尸一樣說的話完全"站不住腳"
Good boy. Here's a cookie. Oh, thank you.
真乖，賞你個(gè)餅干。謝謝
Hey, fellas, what's going on? Mummies and zombies again.
大家伙在干嘛呢？又在辯木乃伊跟僵尸呢。
Oh, they're not the same thing. You get a cookie, too. Thanks.
他們不一樣好嗎？也賞你個(gè)餅干。謝謝
Guess who picked up his new car this morning? Congratulations.
你們猜誰今早弄了臺(tái)新車？恭喜你啊
Does it have that new car smell? Yep! For as long as I can keep my mother out of it.
里面有新車味嗎？有的。只要不讓我媽上車就有
If you want to check it out later, it's parked right out front, space 294. I'm sorry 294?
你們想看一下的話，就停在外面哦。294號(hào)位。等等，294號(hào)位嗎？
Yeah. That's my parking spot. Why do you have a parking spot?
是的，那是我的停車位。你怎么會(huì)有個(gè)停車位
You don't have a car. You don't even drive. It doesn't matter. That's my spot.
你都沒車你連車都不開。那無關(guān)緊要。那停車位是我的
Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it.
可能是看你從不停車 就重分配給人了吧
Well, I'm not using my nipples, either.Maybe they should reassign those.
我也從不用我的乳頭啊，他們也要幫我重分配嗎
Sheldon, someday, if you get a car, I'm sure they'll give you another parking space.
謝爾頓，哪天你買車了，他們肯定還會(huì)再給你個(gè)停車位的。
I don't want another parking space. I want my parking space. It's perfect.
我不要?jiǎng)e的停車位，我要我那個(gè)停車位。那可是完美車位
It's a corner spot, cutting the risk of doordings in half.
那車位是在角落，車門被旁車門撞凹的機(jī)率少了一半
It's a mere 28 steps from the building entrance.
而走到樓入口處也只需僅僅28步
The nearby tree provides shade on hot days and is also home to a delightful squirrel.
旁邊的樹能在熱天提供遮陰而且那樹還是一只可愛小松鼠的家
Which is fortuitous because most squirrels are real jerks. Fun story.
這很難得呢畢竟大多數(shù)的松鼠都是討厭鬼。故事雖好
Meanwhile, you still don't have a car.
但你就是沒車啊
Don't try to change the subject.
別想轉(zhuǎn)移話題
This is about a parking space.
我們是在談停車位
It has nothing to do with cars.
跟有沒有車毫無關(guān)系
Are you listening to yourself?
你有聽到你自己說的話了嗎
I always listen to myself.
我當(dāng)然都有聽啊
It's one of the great joys of my life.
這是我人生中最美好的事之一呢
Now, get your car out of my spot. Nope. Very well.
快把你的車開離我的寶位。不要。你不仁
You leave me no choice. What are you looking at, you stupid squirrel?
那就別怪我不義了?？磦€(gè)屁啊，你個(gè)白癡松鼠
President Siebert, listen to reason.
塞伯特校長 請(qǐng)聽我的理由
Yeah, I understand I don't use the parking spot, but that's not the point. I...
我知道我沒有在使用那個(gè)停車位，但這不是重點(diǎn)我...
Yes, I'm aware you told me not to call you at home. But you didn't answer the door!
我知道你說過別打去你家。但這是因?yàn)槟悴粦?yīng)門啊
And I know you were there, because I saw you through the mail slot.
我知道你在家我當(dāng)時(shí)從信件投遞口看到你在里面了
Well, that's some salty language.
你這話夠掉身份啊
May I remind you that you're the president of a major university, not the president of the Potty Mouth Club.
您別忘了您重點(diǎn)大學(xué)校長的身份啊而不是個(gè)臟話俱樂部的主席
There it is again. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
你又說。你也是用那張嘴親你母親的嗎？
Oh, well, I'm sorry for your loss. Oh...! Good night, sir. Unbelievable.
好吧，請(qǐng)節(jié)哀順變。晚安。太扯了
He says Wolowitz deserves my spot because he's a highprofile asset to the university.
他說我的停車位給沃羅威茨不為過因?yàn)樗菍W(xué)校的重要資產(chǎn)
Well, he's not wrong. Howard did go to the International Space Station.
他也沒說錯(cuò)啊，霍華德好歹也上過國際太空站了
Yeah, that was five weeks ago.
那都是五周前的事了
How much longer is he gonna milk that cow? Sheldon, let it go. It's not a big deal.
他還想靠那件事占便宜多久??？算了啦，謝爾頓。也不是什么大事
No, no, this is a slippery slope, Leonard.
萊納德 不反抗只會(huì)令他更予取予求
It starts with a parking space. Where does it end?
先是占了我停車位。食髓知味了以后呢？
It's like my dad always said, "First they say you can't drink and drive.
就像我爸說過的一樣"一開始只說不能酒后開車
Next thing you know, you can't let your 10yearold take the wheel while you sleep one off in the backseat."
才剛同意就立刻再進(jìn)一步說不許讓10歲兒子開車，而自己去后座睡覺"。
All that story does is make me feel bad for your mother.
你這故事只讓我更心疼你媽
Leonard, you're my best friend. Why don't you ever take my side?
萊納德，你是我最好的朋友。為什么你從不跟我同一陣線？
Because I can never understand your side! Give it back.
因?yàn)槲覐臎]懂過你那陣線！還我
I'm sorry, but could you be more specific? My Iron Man helmet.
很抱歉您是指...我的鋼鐵俠頭盔
Koothrappali saw you take it. Give it back. Oh, that.
庫薩帕里看見你拿了。還回來。哦，那個(gè)啊
Well, see, I wanted it, and you weren't using it.
聽我說，這東西我想要你又不用。我就拿了
Apparently, those are the rules we live by now. Payback
我們現(xiàn)在生活規(guī)則好像是這樣哦。報(bào)復(fù)
it truly is the B word, isn't it?
還真是讓人想罵臟話 不是嗎
Sheldon, that is a $500 limited edition collectible, and I want it back.
謝爾頓 那可是價(jià)值500美元的限量珍藏品快還給我
I'd love to help you out, but unfortunately, I'm using it. Fine.
我也想還給你，但很遺憾的是我在用呢。好吧
I'm taking your diploma. Go ahead.
那我把你的學(xué)位證拿走，盡管拿
That's the only doctorate you'll ever get.
你這輩子唯一"拿到"博士學(xué)位的機(jī)會(huì)哦
It smells funny in here. We're so proud of you, Amy.
里面聞起來怪怪的，我們真以你為傲，艾米
Your first bikini wax. Yeah. So, how you doing?
你的初次比基尼蜜蠟脫毛呢。對(duì)啊，感覺如何
A little sensitive, but not bad. Does it always take that long?
有點(diǎn)小敏感，但還好。一般都需要這么長時(shí)間的嗎？
Uh, no, they usually don't have to go out and get more wax.
不 他們一般不需要跑去多拿點(diǎn)蜜蠟
I feel like I'm five pounds lighter.
除完我感覺都輕了5磅
Really? Only five? Hey, anybody want a drink? Okay. Sure.
真的嗎？你確定只有5磅嗎？誰想來一杯。好的，當(dāng)然。
So, did you spend last night hearing about this silly parking space fight, too? For hours.
你昨晚是不是也得聽他抱怨那場(chǎng)白癡的停車位大戰(zhàn)，抱怨了好幾小時(shí)
Fortunately, I couldn't understand most of it'cause Sheldon was wearing that stupid robot mask.
幸好，因?yàn)橹x爾頓戴著那個(gè)白癡面具他說的話我大部分都聽不懂
Howard was so angry I had to mash up Benadryl in his ice cream to get him to fall asleep.
霍華德氣得要死我不得不把過敏藥混在他的冰淇淋里（Benadryl是兒童抗過敏藥一般小朋友吃了都會(huì)想睡覺）才能讓他消停睡覺
I guess this is what we get for being with two testosteronefueled alpha males.
我猜這就是我們跟兩個(gè)荷爾蒙爆棚的雄性霸主在一起的后果
At some point, they're bound to lock horns.
一山不容二虎他們總有一天得角斗分生死
I'm assuming these are some kind of horns they bought at ComicCon?
我猜你說的"角"是他們從動(dòng)漫展買的什么號(hào)"角"之類吧？
I'm really sorry they took Sheldon's spot away.
我很抱歉學(xué)校收回謝爾頓的車位
He shouldn't have to suffer just because Howard's such a big deal now.
他不該因?yàn)榛羧A德現(xiàn)在是個(gè)大咖 而蒙受苦難啊
I know, Sheldon should just let Howard have his little moment in the sun.
是啊，謝爾頓應(yīng)該大度點(diǎn)也讓霍華德有一次受矚目的短暫機(jī)會(huì)
What's that supposed to mean?
你這話什么意思
Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius. You're right.
霍華德這輩子不會(huì)再上太空了但謝爾頓一輩子都會(huì)是個(gè)天才。有道理
And I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again, if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.
謝爾頓肯定有機(jī)會(huì)重獲個(gè)好車位啊假設(shè)他哪天真對(duì)科學(xué)做了有價(jià)值的貢獻(xiàn)就行
If and when? Okay, maybe we should change the subject.
假設(shè)與哪天嗎？好了 或許我們?cè)摀Q個(gè)話題
Amy, how are your lady parts? Still chilly down there? Hang on.
艾米，你"小妹妹"那里感覺如何？還涼颼颼的嗎？打住
None of Sheldon's theories have ever been definitively proven.
謝爾頓所有的理論都未獲得最終證實(shí)
My husband actually went to outer space.
而我的老公可是真正上過太空
That's an impressive accomplishment.
那的確是一項(xiàng)令人贊嘆的成就
He's now an inspiration to millions of Americans who know you don't have to be special or even qualified to go into space.
他現(xiàn)在成功鼓舞了百萬美國人就算你不特別，甚至不夠格也都可以登上外太空
You know, I remember the first time I got a bikini wax.
我還記得我第一次嘗試比基尼脫毛
My sister did it with melted Crayolas and duct tape.
我姐姐是用熔化的蠟筆和膠帶幫我
It's a bad idea... Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility.
那主意蠢透了...天啊，艾米我感覺到了一絲敵意啊
Is it maybe because, like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical? Damn.
是不是因?yàn)?，你們的性生活跟謝爾頓的研究一樣純屬"理論"啊，毒啊
Yeah, well, at least when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother.
是啊，至少等我們開搞了后謝爾頓腦子里不會(huì)想著他媽媽
And yes, that is a cleverly veiled reference to Howard's lifelong obsession to crawl back into her spacious womb.
沒錯(cuò)，我就是在明嘲暗諷霍華德他這輩子癡迷著想爬回他媽寬敞無比的子宮的心里
Anyway, to this day, I still can't see a box of crayons without crossing my legs.
時(shí)至今日，我一看見蠟筆還是會(huì)嚇得趕緊夾緊雙腿
I don't have to take this. I'm gonna go home and have sex with my husband right now.
我沒必要聽你冷嘲熱諷，老娘現(xiàn)在就回家跟我的老公做愛
Maybe I'll let him do it to me in the parking spot.
可能還讓他干我"停車位"呢
Which sounds dirty, but I didn't mean it that way!
雖然聽起來很淫蕩 但我不是那個(gè)意思
Okay, here's another one
好吧 另外一個(gè)問題
If a zombie bites a vampire, and the vampire bites a human, does the human become a vampire or a zombie?
如果僵尸咬了吸血鬼，然后吸血鬼咬了人類那那個(gè)人類會(huì)變成吸血鬼，還是僵尸
Or a zompire? Sheldon? Cookie. I don't have any.
或是僵血鬼？謝爾頓？餅干拿來，我沒有
Well, I'm not giving it away. Hi, Sheldon. He's in my spot.
我才不無償幫你，你好呀，謝爾頓。他坐在我的專位上
Leonard, make him stop being naked in my spot.
萊納德 讓他別裸體坐在我的專位上
Howard, what are you doing? He wasn't using it.
霍華德，你這是干嘛？他又沒在坐
And I needed a nice cool piece of leather to wiggle my naked ass on.
而我剛好需要一塊冰涼的皮革來摩擦我的光屁屁
Get off there. Give me back my Iron Man helmet.
快滾開。把我的鋼鐵俠頭盔還給我
Give me back my parking space.
把我的停車位還給我
You don't need a parking space. You don't have a car.
你又不需要停車位，你連車都沒有
You don't need an Iron Man helmet. You're not Iron Man.
你又不需要鋼鐵俠頭盔，你又不是鋼鐵俠
Well, we appear to have reached an impasse.
看來我們陷入僵局了
And you know, I have to say, I thought you'd be more upset that your laptop is sitting on my junk.
不過我得說我原以為把你筆記本放我的大雕上你會(huì)更生氣呢
I didn't pick up on that. That's a nice touch.
我剛還沒發(fā)現(xiàn)這招不賴啊。霍華德·沃羅威茨
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