Okay, right there, "ew" is one of the things you're not gonna want to say in front of your fatherinlaw.
It's right up there with "icky" and "get it away." Now pick one up. Really?
You're gonna have to do it when you're fishing. Okay.
What are you waiting for? I don't know, for them to die of natural causes.
Just pick up a worm and put him on this hook. Fine. There.
I'm no expert, but I think the hook has to go through the worm. Fine.
Sorry, Mr. Worm. Sherm. Sherm the Worm. Hey, don't name him.
Just jab a hook in his face. You got this, buddy.
Yeah, come on, Howard. Hook that worm. You can do it.
That's great. Cheerleadingway to man things up.
"And the control group displayed significantly fewer genetic abnormalities.
But, because of flaws in the experimental design relating to environment and diet, they lived inconclusively ever after."
The end. That was great. Rub my chest again.
No.I need to get you down for a nap.
For some reason, that VapoRub gets you all fired up.
Oh, I'm hanging in there. Thanks for asking.
Okay, Amy, I brought you some drugs we were working on in the lab.
This is proving really good for congestion, but there's a slight chance it can make your tears burn like acid, so if you take ithappy thoughts.
Uh, I'm going to draw you a soothing bath.
I don't have a bath thermometer.
Fine. Then I'm going to draw you a nervewracking bath of indeterminate temperature.
This is a really good expectorant.
Although some test subjects reported lactating uncontrollably when they heard music.
Okay, okay, here's the deal.
I don't need your medicine. I'm not sick.
I don't understand. I got better two days ago.
It's just been so nice having Sheldon take care of me.
See the stuff in my nose? Rubber cement.
I don't mean to be judgy, but this is the kind of thing lunatics do. All right. I'll tell him.
艾米,你有力氣自己洗澡嗎?還是你需要我?guī)兔Γ?/div>
I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.
我明天再坦白。老娘想好好洗個澡
Now, let's assume, by some miracle, you actually catch a fish.
現(xiàn)在我們假設(shè)奇跡降臨你真的釣上來一條魚
You're going to have to know how to gut it.
你得知道怎樣清理內(nèi)臟
So, what you're going to do is you're going to take your knife, slice him right up the belly.
所以你要做的就是拿起刀從它的肚皮上切下去
You want me to stop?
要我停下來嗎
No, I'm fine. Keep going. All right.
不,我沒事。你繼續(xù)。好
Now, you don't want to cut too deep into its guts, or the blood will just squirt all over your face.
千萬別切得太深不然血會濺得你滿臉都是
Oh, my God. What is with you guys? It's not our fault.
我的天啊。你們這群阿宅是怎么回事?不是我們的錯啊
Our dads never did anything like this with us. What, never?
我們的老爸又沒和我們做過這些事。從來沒有過嗎?
My dad was an anthropologist.
我爸爸是個人類學(xué)家
The only fatherson time he spent was with a 2,000yearold skeleton of an Etruscan boy.
我們唯一的父子活動都獻給那個有兩千年歷史的伊特魯里亞男孩的尸骸了
I hated that kid. Mine just took me to his gynecology office.
我可討厭那小子了。我爸只會帶我去他的婦科辦公室。
I got so bored, I'd put vaginal lubricant on the bottom of my shoes and pretend I was iceskating.
我甚至無聊到把陰道潤滑劑涂在鞋底然后幻想我是在滑冰
Yeah, well, my quality fatherson time was spending my adolescence looking out the window waiting for my dad to come back someday.
我小時候美好的父子時光都用來盯著窗外等我爸會不會回心轉(zhuǎn)意回家來了
Yeah, okay, Howard wins.
好吧,霍華德贏了
You know, maybe we didn't have opportunities like this when we were growing up, but right now, there's a dad that wants to take you on a fishing trip.
也許我們在長大的過程中沒有這樣的機會但現(xiàn)在有位父親真的要帶你去釣魚了
You're right. I should do this. Great. Here you go.
你說得對。我得好好學(xué)。很好。拿著
What you're going to do is you're going to stick your thumb down its throat, grab the guts and pull.
你現(xiàn)在要做的是把你的手指伸進它的喉嚨抓住內(nèi)臟往外拉
Here we go. Oh, look, it's a female. You can see all the eggs.
我要動手啦。瞧,這是魚媽媽,快看她產(chǎn)的卵。
I'm walking on sunshine And don't it feel good And don't it feel good Oh, Sheldon, am I glad you're back.
在陽光下漫步感覺多么爽快感覺多么愜意。謝爾頓,你可算回來了。
Taking a turn for the worst. I think I'm going to need another bath. I'm surprised to hear that.
我又嚴(yán)重了。我覺得你得再幫我洗個澡,聽你這么說真是意外。
See, the other day, I was concerned that you weren't recovering, so while you were sleeping, I took a cheek swab and had it cultured in the lab. Oh?
那天我擔(dān)心你怎么一直沒有好轉(zhuǎn)所以趁你睡覺時取了你的唾液樣本 到實驗室進行細(xì)菌培養(yǎng)。是嗎?
I got the results back. Have you developed any of the following symptoms?
結(jié)果出來了。你有出現(xiàn)如下癥狀嗎?
A growing nose, or perhaps a warm sensation in the trouser region?
鼻子變長或是褲子區(qū)域有溫?zé)岣杏X?
Also known as fullblown"Liar, liar, pants on fire." All right, all right.
也就是大家熟知的"撒謊撒謊褲襠燒光"好啦,好啦。
But I really was sick at the beginning. It's just been so nice having you take care of me.
但最開始我真的病了。只是有你照顧我的感覺真是太好了。
It hurts that you would lie to me, Amy.
你騙我我會傷心的,艾米
I thought our relationship was based on trust and a mutual admiration that skews in my favor.
我以為我們的關(guān)系是建立在信任以及傾向于對我有利的相互欣賞之上
I feel terrible I did this.
我很抱歉我這么做了
It pains me to say it, but I think some form of penalty is in order, so as to discourage this type of behavior in the future.
盡管這么說我也不好受,但我覺得懲罰是必須的以防日后再出現(xiàn)這樣的行為
I suppose that's fair. What do you suggest?
這無可厚非 那你想怎么懲罰我
In a perfect world, I'd lock you in a stockade in the public square.
在理想世界里,我會把你關(guān)在廣場上的圍籠里
That probably requires a permit.
那可能需要申請準(zhǔn)證
I could not be allowed to go to the opening of the next Star Trek movie.
可以不允許我參加下一部《星際迷航》電影的首映啊
Oh, that seems overly harsh.
這懲罰也太重了
You gave in to a human weakness.You didn't kill a man.
你只是向人性弱點屈服,你又沒殺人
You know, it's a tad oldschool, but my father was not one to spare the rod when my brother would sneak into his truck and drink his driving whiskey.
這懲罰可能有點傳統(tǒng)但我哥溜進我爸的卡車偷喝他的駕車威士忌時我爸奉行的是"不打不成材"
Are you saying you want to spank me? I don't want to.
你是說 你要打我屁屁嗎?我也不想啊。
But it looks like you left me no choice. That's true.
但我別無選擇了啊。的確是。
I've been a very bad girl. Hiho, hiho, it's off to fish we go.
我是個非常"淘氣"的壞女孩。走起,走起,咱們?nèi)メ烎~
That's what you're wearing? No good?
你穿成這樣?。坎恍袉??
The guy at the sporting goods store said these are what fishermen wear.
體育用品店的人說釣魚就要穿這個
Maybe in cartoons.
在卡通片里差不多
Wish I had known that before I posted all those pictures on Facebook.
真希望在上傳照片到網(wǎng)上前就知道這點
All right, let's hit the road.
好了,出發(fā)吧
I wouldn't mind shooting some ducks in the morning.
大早上去獵幾只鴨子也不錯
Wait, now we're shooting things?
等等,咱們還要獵東西嗎
I like using a big shell.
我喜歡用大口徑的子彈
You can't eat them afterwards, but it's fun watching them blow up.
雖然之后沒法吃但打爆它們很有趣
Sir, I'm flattered
先生,您邀請我一起去
that you invited me, and I really want you to like me, but...
我真是受寵若驚我真的很想讓您接受我但是
I don't think this trip is the way to do it.
我想這趟行程不是什么好主意
And I can't return these things if there's chunks of duck all over them.
而且如果上面滿是鴨子殘骸我也退不了這身行頭
So, why'd you agree to come?
那你為什么同意一起去
'Cause Bernadette made me.
因為伯納黛特逼我去
I tried to back out, too. My wife said I had to go.
我也嘗試不去。我老婆也逼我去。
Really? Your wife makes you do stuff?You're a big, scary cop.
真的嗎?您老婆也逼你做事嗎?您可是嚇人的大個兒警察
You're an astronaut, and your wife makes you do things, and she's only four feet tall.
你是個宇航員,不也一樣被老婆牽著鼻子走,而且她只是個小不點
So, what do we do now?
那我們現(xiàn)在怎么辦
They expect us to go away for the weekend.
她們是要我們出去玩一整個周末呢
There's an Indian casino near Palm Springs.
棕櫚泉附近有家印式賭場
You know how to shoot craps? No, but I'm not a stranger to dice games.I was the Temple BethEl Hebrew School Yahtzee champion. Mazel tov.
雙骰會玩嗎?不會,但我對骰子游戲也略知一二我是希伯來圣地廟學(xué)校的"快艇骰"冠軍。恭喜恭喜(希伯來語)。
I'll teach you how to play. Really? Thank you, sir. Call me Mike. Okay.
我會教你怎么玩。真的嗎?謝謝,先生。叫我麥克吧。好的
Oh, boy, we're just married to a couple of ballbusters, huh, Mike?
老天,我們真是娶了兩個蛋疼女回家啊,麥克?
That's my wife and daughter you're talking about.
你說的可是我的老婆和女兒
Great couple of gals. I wouldn't go that far.
她們是賢良淑德的典范,那又有點過了。
Are you prepared to receive your punishment? One second.
準(zhǔn)備好接受懲罰了嗎?等等。
I want to put on some music. Why?
我要放音樂。為什么?
I don't want to disturb the people next door while you discipline me.
你教訓(xùn)我乖乖聽話時我不想動靜太大擾鄰
Very well, then. Get over my knee. Let's begin. Oh, my. Excuse me.
那好吧。趴我膝蓋上,開始了。天啊,正經(jīng)點。
You're not supposed to be enjoying this.
你不應(yīng)該覺得享受才對
Then maybe you should spank me harder. Maybe I will.