雙語(yǔ)《園丁集》 我想對(duì)你說(shuō)出我要說(shuō)的最深的話語(yǔ)

41

I LONG to speak the deepest words I have to say to you; but I dare not, for fear you should laugh.

That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.

I make light of my pain, afraid you should do so.

I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you; but I dare not, being afraid that you would not believe them.

That is why I disguise them in untruth, saying the contrary of what I mean.

I make my pain appear absurd, afraid that you should do so.

I long to use the most precious words I have for you; but I dare not, fearing I should not be paid with like value.

That is why I give you hard names and boast of my callous strength.

I hurt you, for fear you should never know any pain.

I long to sit silent by you; but I dare not lest my heart come out at my lips.

That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart behind words.

I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so.

I long to go away from your side; but I dare not, for fear my cowardice should become known to you.

That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your presence.

Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever.

41

我想對(duì)你說(shuō)出我要說(shuō)的最深的話語(yǔ)，我不敢，我怕你哂笑。

因此我嘲笑自己，把我的秘密在玩笑中打碎。

我把我的痛苦說(shuō)得輕松，因?yàn)榕履銜?huì)這樣做。

我想對(duì)你說(shuō)出我要說(shuō)的最真的話語(yǔ)，我不敢，我怕你不信。

因此我弄真成假，說(shuō)出和我的真心相反的話。

我把我的痛苦說(shuō)得可笑，因?yàn)槲遗履銜?huì)這樣做。

我想用最寶貴的名詞來(lái)形容你，

我不敢，我怕得不到相當(dāng)?shù)某陥?bào)。

因此我給你安上苛刻的名字，而夸示我的硬骨。

我傷害你，因?yàn)榕履阌肋h(yuǎn)不知道我的痛苦。

我渴望靜默地坐在你的身旁，

我不敢，怕我的心會(huì)跳到我的唇上。

因此我輕松地說(shuō)東道西，把我的心藏在語(yǔ)言的后面。

我粗暴地對(duì)待我的痛苦，因?yàn)槲遗履銜?huì)這樣做。

我渴望從你身邊走開(kāi)，我不敢，怕你看出我的懦怯。

因此我隨隨便便地昂首走到你的面前。

從你眼里頻頻擲來(lái)的刺激，使我的痛苦永遠(yuǎn)新鮮。