故園風雨后（1981） 第一季 第五集 Part6

我不理解 你在那么多方面
I don't understand how you could have been so nice
都很好
in so many ways
怎么會做出這么殘忍的事
and then do something so wantonly cruel.
我不理解 我們這么喜歡你
I don't understand how we all liked you so much.
你一直都恨我們嗎
Did you hate us all the time?
我不理解 我們怎么就要遭受這樣的對待
I don't understand how we deserved it.
再見
Good-bye.
我無動于衷
I remained unmoved.
我內(nèi)心沒有一絲一毫
There was no part of me
被她的悲傷打動
remotely touched by her distress.
這和我經(jīng)常想象的 被學校開除的場景很像
It was as I had often imagined being expelled from school.
我?guī)缀跻詾闀牭剿f
I almost expected to hear her say,
“我已經(jīng)寫信通知了你不幸的父親”
"I have already written to inform your unhappy father."
但是 我坐車走了
But, as I drove away,
我覺得 我把自己的一部分也留在了這里
I felt that I was leaving part of myself behind,
不論我之后去向哪里
and that wherever I went afterwards,
都會感受到它的缺失
I should feel the lack of it
并絕望地搜尋
and search for it hopelessly,
就像鬼魂那樣
as ghosts are said to do.
“我永遠不會回來了” 我對自己說
"I shall never go back," I said to myself.
一扇門關(guān)上了
A door had shut,
我在牛津?qū)ふ?br>the low door in the wall
并找到的 圍墻上的那扇矮門
I had sought and found at Oxford.
打開之后 我沒有找到什么魔力花園
Open it now, and I should find no enchanted garden.
在暗無天日的珊瑚宮殿和
I had come to the surface
隨波飄蕩的海底森林 被囚禁了太久
into the light of common day after a long captivity
我終于浮上水面 重新回到平凡生活
in the sunless coral palaces and waving forests
的陽光下
of the ocean bed.
“我把幻想留下了”我對自己說
"I have left behind illusion," I said to myself.
“今后 我就生活在一個三維的世界中
"Henceforth, I live in a world of three dimensions
在我五種感官的幫助下”
with the aid of my five senses."
后來我才知道 沒有那樣的一個世界
I have since learned that there is no such world.
但當時 隨著汽車拐了個彎 房子在視線中消失
But then, as the car turned out of sight of the house,
我以為 這不需要去找
I thought it took no finding
就在大路盡頭 我的四周
but lay all about me at the end of the avenue.