你總是很忙，以下是(真正)為友誼騰出時間的方法

你總是很忙，以下是(真正)為友誼騰出時間的方法

Friendships are important — not just because it's nice to know someone's in your corner, but because forging and maintaining friendships with people who are outside your biological family can give you fresh perspective and remind you that there are people in the world who you choose to be with — and that they feel the same way about you.

友誼是很重要的--不僅僅是因為知道某人在你身邊是件好事，也是因為與你的親生家庭之外的人建立和維持友誼可以給你新的視角，并且提醒你世界上有很多人選擇與你在一起，他們對你也有同樣的感覺。

Having friends boosts your ability to roll with life's punches and achieve your dreams. (Photo: Imaake/Shutterstock)

To reap the benefits of friendship — which include greater longevity, better overall mental health and lower anxiety — doesn't require a huge gaggle of people. Most studies have found that two or three good, trusted friends give the same advantages as a greater number. Even one good friend is a beautiful thing, and depending on whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, those one or two people may be more than enough.

要收獲友誼帶來的好處——包括更長壽、更全面的心理健康和更少的焦慮——并不需要一大群人的吵鬧。大多數(shù)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，兩個或三個好的、值得信任的朋友和更多的朋友具有同樣的優(yōu)勢。即使一個好朋友也是一件美好的事情，取決于你是內向還是外向，那一兩個人可能就足夠了。

But if you move, or your friends' lives change, it can be easy to lose touch. It's pretty common for it to feel tough to maintain friendships as we get older. To deal with that challenge, you have to first deal with the psychological challenges, and then you can get a handle on the logistical challenges.

但是如果你搬家了，或者你朋友的生活發(fā)生了變化，你就很容易失去聯(lián)系。隨著年齡的增長，維持友誼變得很困難，這是很常見的。要應對這種挑戰(zhàn)，你必須先應對心理上的挑戰(zhàn)，然后才能應對后勤上的挑戰(zhàn)。

Now, when it comes to practical ways to maintain your connection to friends, what are the nuts and bolts of making that happen?

現(xiàn)在，當涉及到維持你和朋友之間聯(lián)系的實際方法時，具體是什么呢?

Have a phone date: Obviously, this one is only for those who enjoy a good phone chat, which is something you will already know if your friend likes to do (and not everyone does). But the old phone can work wonders for connecting, especially over time zones or long distances. You can set a weekly time to call or send a quick text to set up a conversation, or you can just be spontaneous about it.

電話約會:很明顯，這只適用于那些喜歡電話聊天的人，如果你的朋友喜歡(不是每個人都喜歡)，你就已經(jīng)知道了。但舊手機在連接方面可以創(chuàng)造奇跡，尤其是在跨越時區(qū)或長距離的情況下。你可以設定一個每周的時間打電話或者發(fā)一條短信來建立一個對話，或者你也可以隨心所欲。

Documenting those times you get together with friends can help you motivate to do it more often. (Photo: VGstockstudio/Shutterstock)

Workout: Friends who exercise together are more likely to keep up a regular exercise routine, and it's just a great way to catch up. I schedule regular hiking dates with a fellow journalist friend, and we hash out our latest story ideas and talk industry gossip while we're getting our heart rates up. The bonus is that we tend to hike for longer than we might on our own — caught up in conversation, we end up going for miles because we're having a fun. The time flies.

鍛煉:一起鍛煉的朋友更有可能保持規(guī)律的鍛煉習慣，這是一個很好的方式來彌補。我定期和一位同為記者的朋友一起遠足，我們會討論最新的新聞創(chuàng)意，討論行業(yè)八卦，同時提高心率。這樣做的好處是，我們徒步旅行的時間往往比獨自旅行的時間要長——沉浸在談話中，我們最終會徒步數(shù)英里，因為我們玩得很開心。時間過得真快。

Run errands together: One of my close friends is a mother to a recently adopted little girl as well as three older kids. She's a newly tenured sociology professor, busy journalist, and she almost never misses a workout — that last one keeps her sane, she says. (As a child-free person with one job, don't ask me how she does it, because I have no idea.) A relaxed dinner out happens occasionally, but more often, I tag along with her while she picks up and drops off one of the kids, and goes to the grocery store. We catch up in the car, while walking behind shopping carts, and unpacking grocery bags in her kitchen. Sometimes I get my groceries at the same time, saving me a trip and gas. It makes the errands more fun for everyone involved. One day, my friend's kids will be grown up and her work will be less frenetic. I'm looking forward to more art-opening or coffee dates when that happens. But importantly, we'll still have a relationship when she gets there.

一起做事:我的一個好朋友是一位母親，她收養(yǎng)了一個小女孩，還有三個大孩子。她是一位新獲得終身教授職位的社會學教授，也是一位忙碌的記者，她幾乎從不錯過任何一次鍛煉——她說，最后一次鍛煉讓她保持清醒。(作為一個沒有孩子、只有一份工作的人，不要問我她是怎么做的，因為我不知道。)偶爾會有一頓輕松的晚餐，但更常見的情況是，我陪著她，讓她把一個孩子接回家，然后去雜貨店買東西。我們趕著上車，跟在購物車后面走，在她的廚房里打開購物袋。有時我們同時買東西，省了一趟車和汽油。它讓每個參與的人都能享受到更多的樂趣?？傆幸惶?，我朋友的孩子會長大，她的工作也不會那么瘋狂。我期待著更多的藝術開幕或咖啡約會。但重要的是，等她來了我們還能繼續(xù)交往。

Group time counts: One-on-one time with friends is important to really connect, but group activities can be a fun, low-pressure way to keep in contact in between. And while it can be easy to dismiss a larger gathering where you'll see a number of friends, just having that face-time can be meaningful in itself. So do your best to show up for that brunch or wedding shower. You can also think about meeting up beforehand for a one-on-one with someone you are missing — even a half-hour of time alone with a friend before you see the group can be meaningful.

團體時間很重要:與朋友單獨相處的時間對真正建立聯(lián)系很重要，但是團體活動可以是一種有趣的、低壓力的方式來保持聯(lián)系。雖然你很容易忽視一個有很多朋友的大型聚會，但僅僅是見面本身就很有意義。所以，盡你所能去參加早午餐或婚禮送禮會吧。你也可以考慮提前和你想念的人單獨見面——即使是在你見到朋友之前的半小時也是有意義的。

Renting a boat with a group of friends is a fun idea and can make a trip like that much more affordable too. (Photo: DisobeyArt/Shutterstock)

Take a vacation together: I'm dying to do this one, which hasn't happened for me yet. But this is how my partner stays connected to his friends; once or twice a year, these friends, who live all over the United States, meet somewhere in the American West (usually during winter so the northerners can get some sun). They hang out for three or four days straight, and while the first day is catch-up mode, after that, they still have plenty of time for deeper conversation and bonding. I'm pretty jealous of the idea and consider it a goal to reach with my own friends . But group vacations are a growing trend, and lots of people are realizing that getting away with friends can be fun, not to mention a way to keep up valued connections.

一起去度假:我很想去度假，但我還沒去。但這就是我的伴侶與朋友保持聯(lián)系的方式;這些住在美國各地的朋友，每年一兩次會在美國西部的某個地方見面(通常是在冬天，這樣北方人就能得到一些陽光)。他們會在一起待上三到四天，雖然第一天比較忙，但在那之后，他們仍然有足夠的時間進行更深入的交談和建立聯(lián)系。我很羨慕這個想法，并認為這是我和自己的朋友達成的一個目標。但集體度假正成為一種日益增長的趨勢，許多人意識到與朋友一起出游可能會很有趣，更不用說保持重要關系的方式了。