雙語笑話：愛爾蘭銀行搶劫案

Irish Bank Robbery

Excerpted from an article about a bank robbery which appeared in the Dublin Times （metropolitan edition，page 2A） on 2 March 1999:

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight，their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately. The robbers，who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables，were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe’s combination，and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank’s audiotape system，one said，“At least we’ll get a bit to eat.”

The robbers opened up a second safe，and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.

They found not one pound sterling，a diamond，or an ounce of gold. Instead，all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed，the robbers made a quiet exit，each leaving with nothing more than a queasy，uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read :

IRELAND’S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

愛爾蘭銀行搶劫案

節(jié)選自1999年3月2號《都柏林時報(bào)》（都市版，第二頁）關(guān)于一篇銀行搶劫案的報(bào)道：

剛過午夜，強(qiáng)盜們立即動手破壞了銀行內(nèi)部的安保系統(tǒng)。他們希望能找到一兩只裝著現(xiàn)金或珠寶的大保險柜。結(jié)果令他們驚奇的是，銀行里面到處都是一些小的保險柜，共有幾百只。

強(qiáng)盜們撬開了第一只保險柜的密碼鎖，發(fā)現(xiàn)里面只有一盤香草布丁。根據(jù)銀行監(jiān)聽系統(tǒng)的錄音，一個強(qiáng)盜說：“我們至少得吃一點(diǎn)。”

強(qiáng)盜們打開了第二個保險柜，里面同樣只有香草布丁。就這樣他們打開了所有的保險柜。

他們沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)一鎊鈔票、一份珠寶、或者一盎司黃金。每一個保險柜里都裝著一盤蓋著的布丁。

強(qiáng)盜們感到非常失望，一聲不響地離開了。每一個人走的時候除了胃被撐得直犯惡心外，一無所獲。

報(bào)紙的標(biāo)題為：愛爾蘭最大的精子銀行今天凌晨遭搶劫。