雙語散文：關(guān)于愛情百談不厭的十二條忠告

One of the most common questions we hear is, "How do we make our relationship work?" The answers are complicated, varied, and, after a while, can start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because they work. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what you think:

我們常常聽到這樣的問題，“怎樣才能讓我們的愛情幸福?”答案很復(fù)雜，因人而異，討論多了聽上去也就是那些陳詞濫調(diào)。但這些所謂的陳詞濫調(diào)之所以一再重復(fù)，是因為它們確實有道理。因此，我們從中挑選了12條，它們揭示了擁有一份健康、幸福的愛情所需的簡單而可靠的建議。讀完這12條建議，告訴我們你的想法。

1. Mind your manners. "Please," "thank you" and "you’re welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love him and don’t take him for granted。

注意禮節(jié)。“請”、“謝謝你”、“不客氣”這些話大有用處，它們可以讓你的愛人清楚你尊敬并且愛著他/她，絕對不會忽視他/她。

2. Variety is the spice of life. Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will keep you feeling close。

嘗試改變，調(diào)劑生活。研究表明，無趣的生活會導(dǎo)致感情產(chǎn)生裂痕。嘗試一些新鮮的東西，可以是到一家沒去過的餐廳吃飯這樣的小事，也可以是去斯里蘭卡背包旅行這樣的大計劃。在這過程中你們二人共同的新發(fā)現(xiàn)會讓你們的感情更加親密。

3. The couple that plays together, stays together. Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV does not count) and make that a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains... whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together。

能玩到一起的夫妻才長久。尋找一項你們二人都喜愛的運動或愛好(看電視可不能算)并把它作為你們生活中的優(yōu)先選擇。野營、騎車、制作火車模型… … 不管是什么，找到一種你們倆都喜歡做的事。

4. Fight right. In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind. Don’t call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don’t initiate a discussion when you’re angry。

選擇正確的吵架方式。為了不讓你們的爭吵惡化，記住這些規(guī)則。不要出口傷人。如果爭吵太激烈，先停一會兒，讓對方把話說完。不要在生氣的時候開始一場討論。

5. I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine. No one likes demands (unless you’re in a BDSM role play)， but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and you’re not sure he’ll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I’ll watch Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice."

禮尚往來。沒有人喜歡總是滿足別人的要求(除非你們在玩調(diào)教游戲)，但每個人都喜歡互惠互利。如果你想讓你的愛人為你做點什么，而你又不確定他/她是不是愿意，那么避免沖突的最快方法就是給他/她點甜頭。比如說：“沒問題，我周一晚上陪你看足球賽，前提是你下次帶我去看電影。”

6. Two heads are better than one. Being in a relationship basically means you’ve made a merger; you’ve not only joined assets but inherited the other’s problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example, if he’s gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in an exercise program together。

兩個人總比一個人好。一段愛情的本質(zhì)是兩個人的結(jié)合;你們不光擁有了共同的財產(chǎn)，同時也必須面對對方的問題。不要總把對方的問題看成是他/她一個人的問題，你們應(yīng)該共同來解決。比如說，如果他長胖了，不要逼著他一個人節(jié)食，而應(yīng)該兩個人一起參加鍛煉。

7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Maintain your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And, in case the relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll still have your friends。

適當?shù)木嚯x拉近心的距離。保持你自己的朋友圈，偶爾也可以拋下另一半出去住一晚。偶爾嘗試沒有另一半的生活不僅讓你更想念他/她，還會讓你保持理智。而且，萬一你們的感情出了問題，你還有自己的朋友。

8. Sound it out. It other words: communicate! Talking out the tough subjects-money, religion, fidelity, raising kids-will not be the most fun you’ve had, but it’ll be valuable。

有話就要說出來。換句話說：要溝通!把那些棘手的話題拿出來討論，錢、宗教信仰、忠誠度、撫養(yǎng)孩子等等。這些討論也許不那么有趣，但是很有價值。

9. Laughter is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater in the dryer, laughing it off is, in the long run, better than getting angry. It’s is just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world。

笑容是最好的良藥。學(xué)會嘲笑自己和那些愚蠢的錯誤。如果他把你那件價值300美元的羊絨毛衣丟進了干衣機，笑笑就過去吧，總比發(fā)脾氣要好。不過是毀了一件300美元的羊絨毛衣，又不是世界末日。

10. Keep your eyes on the prize. Yes, he forgot your co-worker’s name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal-to be in a happy, functioning partnership-you’re less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing。

別斤斤計較。是的，他第十次忘記了你同事的名字，但這也許并不代表他不在乎你。如果你將自己的目標保持為擁有一段幸福、和諧的感情，你就不容易被每件瑣事所煩擾。記住，你們的目標是一樣的。

11. Quitters never win. Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it’s always kissing each other good night, renewing wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and stick to it, even when you’re tempted to skip。

不要半途而廢。為你們倆定一種慣例，并且保持下去，不管是什么。無論是互相親吻道晚安，每年都重溫一次結(jié)婚誓言，每個月睡一次懶覺，或是保證每周一次夫妻生活，選擇一種讓你們倆都開心的事情并堅持下去，即使你偶爾會想放棄。

12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going... to therapy. Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don’t. Whether its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink。

當婚姻出現(xiàn)問題時，就該接受治療。研究表明那些在感情的困難時期尋求過咨詢幫助的夫妻，在處理兩人之間的問題時會更成功，不管這種咨詢是來自宗教人士、顧問或是心理健康專家。請專業(yè)人士來幫忙處理爭吵是明智的，就好像聘請一名水管工來安裝一個新水槽，而不是自己折騰。