實(shí)用建議：內(nèi)向女生該如何相親

在相親時(shí)為自己設(shè)定界限。

This point is important, first and foremost. Once, I went on four dates in one week. I pushed myself to accept all the offers. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. I never talked to any of those gentlemen again. Not once.

這點(diǎn)是重中之重。有一次我一周相了四次親。我迫使自己接受所有相親對象的邀請。(因?yàn)?我擔(dān)心如果拒絕，我會(huì)錯(cuò)失(與另一半相識的)千載難逢的機(jī)遇。結(jié)果接下來的那個(gè)周末我過得渾渾噩噩、糟糕透頂——我疲憊地躺在沙發(fā)上，刷著一部爛劇。連小哥給我送外賣過來，我也懶得去門口瞧上一眼。自那以后，我便再未同那幾位先生聊過。一次都沒!

Don’t let the fear of missing out dictate your dating schedule.

不要因害怕錯(cuò)過而影響相親安排。

If you only go on one date a month, that’s okay! If awful dates, which your friends seem to be able to turn into funny anecdotes on a dime, seem catastrophic to you, that’s okay too. It’s all okay! Go on one date every three months if you want to. Ignore your mother when she hounds you about grandchildren.

如果你每月只相親一次，說得過去!如果你因自己幾次糟糕的相親可能會(huì)立馬變成朋友間的笑料而感到挫敗，那也沒關(guān)系。這些都是可以的!如果你想，還能每三個(gè)月相一次親呢!如果母親一直嘮叨著要抱孫子，就讓她說去。

Call and cancel if you’ve already reached your limit.

如果你已經(jīng)相親到極限，就打電話取消相親安排吧。

Don’t feel the need to go into some long, drawn-out explanation either. Just simply state that you need to reschedule, and offer an alternative date, time, and place. Is your fear of missing outnagging at you again? I’m going to pass along the best piece of advice my old therapist ever gave me. He said, “You can’t fuck up soul mates.” Write that down, and put it in your pocket.

也不要認(rèn)為你得給出些過多的解釋。只要說明你要改變原安排，然后另外提供相親時(shí)間和地點(diǎn)。你是不是又因擔(dān)心錯(cuò)過另一半而困擾?我要告訴你一位老醫(yī)生曾給予我的良方——“良人你又怎會(huì)錯(cuò)過?”把這句話寫下來，放在口袋里吧。

Be honest and direct, but remember it’s just an online dating profile.

網(wǎng)上的相親個(gè)人介紹要寫得誠實(shí)坦率，但記住它就是個(gè)介紹。

You can use subtle ways to tell your profile visitors you are introverted, without standing on a mountain top and screaming down a declaration for the masses. I like to drop little hints throughout my online profile about how much I value my quiet time; this roots out any suitors prowling for a party girl.

你可以委婉地向看你簡介的人傳達(dá)你內(nèi)向的訊息，而不必站在山巔，向公眾大聲宣明你很內(nèi)向。我喜歡在網(wǎng)上的介紹中稍稍提及我有多在乎個(gè)人的安靜時(shí)間(這為我排除了尋求交際女郎的追求者們)。

Pay attention to what works for you, and only you.

關(guān)注對你奏效、且只對你有用的建議。

There’s a good chance that you’ll discover the subtle difference between the “just put yourself out there!” attitude and the kind of effort that aligns itself with your intuition and all of your wonderfully weird qualities. Try to narrow your focus. Tune out that well-intentioned advice, and keep what you want at the forefront of your mind. You could find someone to sit across from at the breakfast table while reading your own newspapers, Kindles, novels, or whatever. And proximity without talking is THE DREAM, you guys. Never forget.

這是個(gè)好機(jī)會(huì)讓你察覺到， “只要人在那就好”的態(tài)度和你將它與直覺以及所有奇特個(gè)性聯(lián)系起來而付出的努力，這兩者之間細(xì)微的區(qū)別。試著縮小你的關(guān)注點(diǎn)。別聽那條空有一番好意(實(shí)則不奏效的)建議，始終優(yōu)先考慮你想要的。你興許能找到某位坐你對面，讓你能安心讀自己的報(bào)紙、Kindle、小說或是其他讀物的相親者。不過我說，(相親時(shí)兩人)鄰近卻彼此無言是白日做夢哦。千萬要記住!