你的孩子是欺負(fù)別人還是被欺負(fù)的?

你的孩子是欺負(fù)別人還是被欺負(fù)的?

Middle school can be tough: switching classes, learning locker combinations, more challenging coursework. It’s also where the most bullying begins. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, about 49 percent of children in grades four to 12 reported being bullied by other students at least once a month, and 31 percent of children reported being the ones who bullied.

中學(xué)生活可能很艱難:換班，學(xué)習(xí)儲(chǔ)物柜組合，更有挑戰(zhàn)性的課程。這也是最大的欺凌開始的地方。據(jù)美國(guó)衛(wèi)生與公眾服務(wù)部的數(shù)據(jù)，大約49%的四年級(jí)至12年級(jí)的孩子每月至少會(huì)被其他學(xué)生欺負(fù)一次，31%的孩子稱自己是欺負(fù)別人的人。

Those numbers suggest that it’s more likely than not that your child will either be the target of bullying or the instigator.

這些數(shù)字表明，你的孩子更有可能要么成為欺凌的目標(biāo)，要么成為煽動(dòng)者。

Prevalent Perpetrators

普遍的罪犯

We think we know what a bully looks like. Pop culture paints an image of an alpha male or female who is either the star football player or head cheerleader. However, it’s not always that easy to identify the problem child, especially if their misdeeds occur primarily online. More male students may be physically bullied than female (6 percent versus 4 percent), according to the National Center for Educational Statistics. Jennifer Knack, an associate professor of psychology at Clarkson University who has researched bullying for 15 years, points out that girls are typically socialized out of physical bullying and, instead, start using bullying tactics like ostracism or spreading rumors. However, cyberbullying affects both genders.

我們認(rèn)為我們知道惡霸是什么樣子的。流行文化把足球明星或啦啦隊(duì)長(zhǎng)描繪成男性領(lǐng)袖或女性領(lǐng)袖的形象。然而，識(shí)別問題兒童并不總是那么容易，尤其是如果他們的錯(cuò)誤行為主要發(fā)生在網(wǎng)上。根據(jù)國(guó)家教育統(tǒng)計(jì)中心的數(shù)據(jù)，男生可能比女生更容易受到身體上的欺負(fù)(6%比4%)。克拉克森大學(xué)(Clarkson University)心理學(xué)副教授珍妮弗·克納克(Jennifer Knack)研究欺凌問題已有15年時(shí)間。她指出，女孩通常不受身體欺凌，而是開始使用排斥或散播謠言等欺凌策略。然而，網(wǎng)絡(luò)欺凌對(duì)兩性都有影響。

Seeking Solutions

尋求解決方案

Many schools have turned to bullying prevention programs and policies as a solution; however, they aren’t usually that effective, Knack suggests. Adults may look at these initiatives as a positive step, but Knack says that depends on the specific programs and how they’re implemented. “I always worry about this one week we care about this issue,” she says, in reference to annual bullying awareness events nationwide. “Kids can see right through that.”

許多學(xué)校已經(jīng)把防止校園欺凌的計(jì)劃和政策作為解決辦法;然而，Knack建議，它們通常沒有那么有效。成年人可能把這些計(jì)劃看作是一個(gè)積極的步驟，但是Knack說這取決于具體的計(jì)劃以及如何實(shí)施。“我總是擔(dān)心這一周我們關(guān)心這個(gè)問題，”她說，指的是全國(guó)范圍內(nèi)的年度欺凌意識(shí)活動(dòng)。“孩子們能看穿這一切。”

Schiff, whose school hosts a Kindness Week, says resources would be better spent by hiring more counselors or social workers who can make connections with students so those students have someone at school they can trust.

希夫所在的學(xué)校舉辦了一個(gè)慈善周，希夫說，如果能雇傭更多的輔導(dǎo)員或社會(huì)工作者來與學(xué)生建立聯(lián)系，讓學(xué)生在學(xué)校里有一個(gè)可以信任的人，資源會(huì)得到更好的利用。

Who’s a bully?

欺負(fù)弱小者是誰(shuí)?

The distinction between bully and bullied isn’t always clear. In a school environment, social hierarchy often determines these two positions, which isn’t always a good thing.

欺凌者和被欺凌者之間的區(qū)別并不總是很明顯。在學(xué)校環(huán)境中，社會(huì)等級(jí)往往決定這兩個(gè)位置，這并不總是一件好事。

“Bullies who are on the higher end of the social hierarchy are often liked by teachers, liked by administrators and so they often get a pass even though they’re harming other children in terms of their social relationships,” says Knack.

Knack說:“那些社會(huì)等級(jí)較高的恃強(qiáng)凌弱者通常會(huì)受到老師和管理人員的喜愛，所以即使他們?cè)谏鐣?huì)關(guān)系方面?zhèn)α似渌⒆樱麄円矔?huì)得到原諒。”

Kids who are bullied often withdraw from activities, go from being talkative to quiet, experience fluctuations in grades — all red flags that parents need to be aware of — but what about the kids who are doing the bullying? If you notice that your child is suddenly getting a lot of extra attention from classmates, that could be a different sort of red flag.

被欺負(fù)的孩子經(jīng)常不參加活動(dòng)，從健談到安靜，經(jīng)歷成績(jī)的波動(dòng)——這些都是家長(zhǎng)需要注意的危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)——但是那些欺負(fù)別人的孩子呢?如果你注意到你的孩子突然從同學(xué)那里得到了很多額外的關(guān)注，這可能是另一種危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)。