雙語智慧書·讓別人對你感恩

244．讓別人對你感恩
　　讓別人對你感恩。有些人把受惠變成施恩，本來在受惠，看上去或被認為卻是在施恩。有些人十分狡猾，本來是在求人，卻好像是給人面子，自己反而受到尊敬；他們能從別人的掌聲里撈到好處。他們掌控事情非常精明：別人為他們干活，卻好像他們在為別人做事。他們用非常手段，顛倒施恩與受惠，或至少讓人分不清誰對誰有恩。他們通過贊賞他人來獲取最好的東西；表達自己喜歡某樣東西，讓人覺得贈送它是件很榮幸的事。他們利用謙恭來施恩，原本是他們欠債，卻讓別人感到是受惠。通過這種方法，他們把被動語態(tài)的"受惠"變成主動語態(tài)的"施恩"，這說明他們雖不通語法，卻很懂手腕。這是一種狡猾的手段，但是，如果你能覺察并看穿它，讓他們真正付出而你真正受益，那就更顯出你的高明。


244．Create a feeling of obligation
　Create a feeling of obligation. Some transform favours received into favours bestowed, and seem, or let it be thought, that they are doing a favour when receiving one. There are some so astute that they get honour by asking, and buy their own advantage with applause from others. They manage matters so cleverly that they seem to be doing others a service when receiving one from them. They transpose the order of obligation with extraordinary skill, or at least render it doubtful who has obliged whom. They buy the best by praising it, and make a flattering honour out of the pleasure they express. They oblige by their courtesy, and thus make men beholden for what they themselves should be beholden. In this way they conjugate "to oblige" in the active instead of in the passive voice, thereby proving themselves better politicians than grammarians. This is a subtle piece of finesse; a still greater is to perceive it, and to retaliate on such fools' bargains by paying in their own coin, and so coming by your own again.