[00:09.46]And... 好了…
[00:10.34]...on Thursdays... 在星期四…
[00:12.18]No, this is not just a TV show. 不,這不僅僅是電視秀
[00:17.42]No, this is a breakthrough, a breakout, a break-all-the-rules 不,這是具有創(chuàng)造力,突破性 超常規(guī)的
[00:18.74]and bring-on-the-Emmys mega-smash! 瞄準艾米獎的重量級手筆!
[00:22.30]Yes! 耶!
[00:24.18]Can I present to you this planet's ultimate reality phenomenon? 請容許我向你們介紹 這個星球的終極真人秀
[00:28.26]I Can Do Better! 我能做得更好
[00:44.14]We will all be right there as happily-married couples 我們將和婚姻美滿的夫妻們
[00:47.82]are flown first class to a tropical island paradise 一起搭乘頭等艙飛往一個熱帶天堂島
[00:49.82]where they will be completely surrounded by professional prostitutes. 在那里他們將完全被 職業(yè)色情工作者包圍
[00:56.42]And at the end of the week... Well, let's take a peek. 在一周以后…讓我們來看看
[01:00.78]Well, it's been a week, and Hank, our personnel manager from Omaha, 好了,已經(jīng)一周了,而漢克 我們從奧馬哈來的人事主管
[01:01.98]has spent the entire seven days with Vanessa, 整個七天都和瓦妮莎在一起
[01:06.90]Yeah, it's been amazing. 是的,真不可思議
[01:06.94]our call girl and exotic dancer. 我們的應招女郎和異國舞女
[01:09.14]And I'll admit we've had some fun in the hot tub and all. 我得承認我們在浴缸里 玩得確實很開心
[01:14.10]But you wanna know something, Billy? 但是你想知道嗎,比利?
[01:16.66]All we did was talk... 我們所做的只是談話而已…
[01:19.34]...because I love my wife... 因為我愛我妻子…
[01:20.42]...and the only place I want to be is back in Omaha with my Barbara. 我想去的唯一地方 是和我的芭芭拉回到奧馬哈
[01:25.34]Tough break, Nessa. 很難接受吧,瓦妮莎
[01:26.60]And Barbara, you spent Monday with Rocky, 那么芭芭拉,周一你和羅基在一起
[01:29.90]our bodybuilder and male escort, 我們的形體教練和男性陪同
[01:33.78]Tuesday through Thursday with the entire cast 周二到周四是和…
[01:35.98]of the XXX film Hung Jury, 色情電影《懸疑陪審團》的全體演員
[01:39.22]and you spent the entire weekend with Tonkiro. 另外你和頓基羅度過整個周末
[01:48.90]And now it's time for the final decision. Barbara, it's yours to make. 現(xiàn)在到了做出最后決定的時候了 芭芭拉,由你來做決定
[01:52.94]Is it gonna be Omaha? 是奧馬哈?
[01:56.62]Or "Oma-hunks"? 還是要這些壯男?
[01:57.94]Well... 嗯…
[02:03.18]...before I came on this show I only had sex with one man, 我上這個節(jié)目之前 只和一個男人有過性關系
[02:04.78]and that was usually Hank. 那通常是漢克
[02:08.14]I love Hank deeply and forever with all my heart, 我永遠愛漢克,全心全意愛他
[02:11.22]and I would never do anything to hurt him. 我也永遠不會做傷害他的事
[02:15.22]But I can do better! 但我能做得更好!
[02:25.86]The battle of the sexes, as old as time but as... 兩性之間的戰(zhàn)爭經(jīng)久不衰,但…
[02:30.26]Why? 為什么?
[02:31.74]- Excuse me? - Why did you do it? - 什么? - 你為什么要那么做?
[02:37.02]Oh, my God, it's Hank from I Can Do Better! 噢,上帝 是《我能做得更好》里的漢克!
[02:37.86]Hank, everyone. 這是漢克,各位
[02:46.82]No, stop it. 不,夠了
[02:49.94]I love Barbara. I had a family. I had a life. 我愛芭芭拉,我曾有個家 有自己的生活
[02:53.70]I know it hurts. 我知道那傷害了你
[02:54.22]Hank, 漢克
[02:56.10]Love isn't easy. 愛并不容易
[02:58.26]Relationships aren't easy, not for anyone. 保持關系并不容易 對每個人都是這樣
[03:04.42]But now you know the truth about Barbara, 但現(xiàn)在你知道了芭芭拉真實的一面
[03:06.82]and you are gonna move on with your life. 而你也可以繼續(xù)你的生活了
[03:09.82]And you're gonna meet someone wonderful, 你會遇到很好的人
[03:12.38]and America is gonna love you. 美國會愛你的
[03:23.22]Yeah. I've got a great idea for another hot new show. 我有個另外一個關于新的熱門節(jié)目的主意
[03:27.50]Well, tell it to us. 那好,告訴我們吧
[03:27.78]It's called... 它叫做…
[03:31.74]...Let's Kill All the Women. - He's got a gun! - 讓我們殺掉所有女人 - 他有槍
[03:41.98]- Joanna, are you all right? - I am great. - 喬安娜,你沒事吧 - 我很好
[03:47.26]Raring to go. The police were sensational. And not a scratch. 真難想像,警方干得很好,我一點事也沒
[03:51.14]- You haven't heard? - About what? - 你還沒聽說? - 聽說什么?
[03:56.70]That man, Hank. Right before he tried to kill you, 那個男的,漢克 就在他試圖殺掉你之前
[04:00.46]he went to see his ex-wife and five of her new boyfriends. 他去找他的前妻和她的五個新男朋友
[04:06.38]- He did? - He shot all of them. - 真的? - 他向他們開了槍!
[04:08.06]The wife is in critical condition, 他前妻還沒有脫離危險
[04:08.62]and four of the guys are on life support. 而其中的四個男的現(xiàn)在還在輸氧
[04:10.90]- Tonkiro? - He's fine. - 頓基羅呢 - 他沒事
[04:11.70]- Thank God. - So you know what this means. - 感謝上帝 - 那么你知道這意味著什么
[04:17.70]We pay for all of their medical treatment, every penny. 我們要承擔他們的所有醫(yī)療費用
[04:17.98]Of course. 當然
[04:22.78]We get them the very best therapist, childcare, rehab, 要給他們最好的治療,護理以及康復
[04:26.46]whatever they need, and then we fly them to New York, first class, 滿足他們一切 然后讓他們坐頭等艙到紐約來
[04:29.02]Hank and Barbara: Let the Healing Begin. 漢克和芭芭拉:康復開始
[04:29.70]for a prime-time special, 做一個黃金時間的特別節(jié)目
[04:33.90]You're not listening. 你沒聽仔細
[04:35.78]We can't wear this. The lawsuits alone may bankrupt the network. 我們承受不起這個 光是打官司就夠讓公司破產(chǎn)了
[04:38.18]And all your new shows, the whole lineup, the affiliates won't touch them. 你的新節(jié)目,整個系列,將停播!
[04:44.34]We have shareholders. 我們有股東
[04:46.74]We can't let you sink the network. 我們不能讓你把公司搞垮
[04:49.58]But we wish you only the best. 不過我們祝你一路順風