你們的戀愛關(guān)系健康嗎？（雙語）

1. You don't have to see each other every day.

你們不必每天都見面。

If you can, then why not? But you don't have to nag each other about you or your partner coming over just because you haven't seen a glimpse of each other for the day (yet). For long-distance relationships, if you can insert that five-minute FaceTime before you head for work (and before he hits the sack), then great.

如果能見面，為什么不見呢?但你們無需因為一天沒見就煩惱著是你過去找他還是讓他過來找你。對于異地戀來說，如果你們能在上班之前(和睡覺之前)抽出5分鐘視頻聊天就很好了。

And this isn't about not making time for seeing each other, it's just that you've reached a point in your relationship when you've realized the difference about being there and being clingy. Minus the Skype, FaceTime and whatever video call apps you use, you are present. And he knows that.

我的意思不是說不要刻意為見面留出時間，只是你們的關(guān)系已經(jīng)到了那種程度，你們已經(jīng)明白在一起和膩在一起的區(qū)別。即使沒有Skype、FaceTime以及你們使用的所有視頻聊天工具，他也知道你的存在。

2. You don't have to update each other of the most minute of details...

你們不必隨時向?qū)Ψ礁伦约旱募毠?jié)……

...like if you've already eaten, what you had for lunch, etc. every. single. day. You aren't absorbed in the world you've created just for you and your boyfriend. Your boyfriend coexists with all the other characters and elements of your world. He's a part of it -- maybe a major part of it -- but not it.

……比如每天都要匯報是不是吃完飯了、午飯吃了什么等等。你不用完全沉浸于只屬于你和男友的世界里，他在你的世界里和其他人和事物共存，他只是其中的一部分，可能是主要的部分，但并不是全部。

3. You don't impose your friends to be his friends and vice versa.

你不會把自己的朋友強加給他，反之亦然。

If they can be friends by themselves without your pushing and shoving them together, wouldn't that be a bonus? But you respect both your guy and your friends and know that how you relate to his friends (or how he does to yours) isn't an area where anyone could pass a judgment to your compatibility as a couple.

如果沒有你的推動和撮合他們自己就能成為朋友，那豈不是意外收獲?但你要尊重你的男友和朋友，要知道你如何和他的朋友相處(或他如何和你的朋友相處)都不是評判戀人是否相處得好的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。

4. You don't (try to) impress each other with the most expensive of gifts.

你們無需用最昂貴的禮物來取悅彼此。

If both of you can afford it is a different story. What I'm saying is there are some couples who spoil each other (or just the other) with very pricey items when that single present already equates to a month's total of his or her net pay. You've reached a maturity with finances and both of you would rather plan on your anniversary getaway or a major investment for your future.

如果你們能買得起就另當(dāng)別論了。我說的是有些情侶用過于昂貴的東西把對方慣壞了，這個禮物就花掉了他(或她)整整一個月的薪水。你們對錢的看法已經(jīng)成熟了，你們都寧愿計劃一年一次的旅行或做做未來的投資。

5. You don't use any filter when you talk.

你們談話時不會遮遮掩掩。

Finances filter, family filter, girlfriends / boyfriends filter, exes-filter, etc -- everything is out in the open. Honesty has always been the best policy.

金錢、家人、男女性友人、花銷方面等等都不會遮遮掩掩，這些都是公開透明的，誠實總是最好的相處之道。

6. You don't torture yourself with boredom to death by pretending to like what he likes.

你不用假裝喜歡他喜歡的東西而把自己折磨得無聊得要死。Your guy enjoys video games; you enjoy your books. Your guy enjoys outdoor sports; you enjoy a cup of coffee in your little nook. He listens to pop music; you worship The Script. While you give a chance for each other to get a peek of your world, you don't force him into being in yours.

你男朋友喜歡電子游戲;但你喜歡讀書。你男朋友喜歡戶外運動;但你喜歡窩在小角落里喝咖啡。他聽流行音樂;但你崇拜The Script樂隊(搖滾風(fēng)格)。你們給彼此一個機會探究對方的世界，但不必強迫他走進你的世界。

7. You don't care what he sees anymore when you're without makeup and/or fresh from slumber.

你不再在乎他看到你素顏和/或剛睡醒的樣子。

You're past those days when you thought that you always have to put your 'best face' forward. You've become comfortable with being all natural. You've seen your beauty without makeup in his eyes.

你們已經(jīng)過了你總想著要展現(xiàn)自己美貌的時候，你表現(xiàn)出自然的一面也覺著很舒服，你已經(jīng)在他眼中看到了自己素顏的美。

8. You don't support him in all his rants and complaints about the world.

你不會支持他的吹噓和對世界的抱怨。

When he needs a good sermon, it's you he hears it from. If he's wrong, you tell him. There's no sugarcoating when you think he needs a slap of reality. You don't condone his wrong acts, you correct him. You don't feed him with false "it's okay"s.

當(dāng)他需要啟示時，他要從你這兒聽到。如果他錯了，你要告訴他，你認為他需要面對現(xiàn)實時你不必花言巧語。你不會寬恕他的錯誤，你要糾正他。你不會虛偽地說“沒關(guān)系”來滿足他。

9. You don't act like a curfew officer anymore.

你不會再表現(xiàn)得像宵禁官。

You know he's going to have to make some time for his friends and you know he's going to have to stay some nights out. You know him well to be sure that he's going to go home when he thinks it's time. And you respect his judgment of "it's time".

你知道他要留一些時間給朋友，知道他有時晚上要出去，你也很懂他，確信他知道什么時間該回家。你尊重他對“回家時間”的判斷。

10. You talk about the specifics of the future...

你們細致地探討未來…

...10 years, 20 years from now. You share dreams of tomorrow. You see him in the big scenes of what lies ahead. You see him as your partner in accomplishing these dreams.

……10年或20年以后。你們分享對未來的憧憬，你在未來的畫面上能看到他的身影，你把他看成你實現(xiàn)這些夢想的伴侶。

11. No buts, no ifs. He is your ally.

沒有“但是”，沒有“如果”，你們是同盟。

Whatever, whenever, wherever. It's always going to be you and him against the world. You can take on whatever life throws at you because you know he will always be somewhere there -- either holding your hand before that big jump or just an inch behind you as you take that most dangerous step that you have to take by yourself. But you're never really alone in the most literal sense; you will always have a sidekick.

無論何事、無論何時、無論何地，永遠都是你和他一起面對這個世界。你能承擔(dān)起生活賜予你的一切，因為你知道他會永遠在那兒——無論是縱身一躍之前握住你的手，還是當(dāng)你不得不獨自邁出危險一步時就站在你身后。你永遠不會真正孤單;永遠有人陪你同行。

12. You value his thoughts. He values yours.

你看重他的想法，他也重視你的想法。

He has a say on the major changes in your life so as he does to those in yours. His opinion is taken in earnest because you know he's one of the few people in the world who would sincerely and selflessly want the best for you. He would give it to you straight and simple. Sometimes, his thoughts would open you up to new wavelengths of thinking, make you affirm those thoughts that you already hold or make you totally say no to some that you haven't been sure about.

對你生活中的重大改變他都有發(fā)言權(quán)，因為他參與了你的生活。你會認真考慮他的想法，因為你知道他是世界上僅有的幾個真心實意而且無私地想要你過得好的人之一。他會直接簡單地給出他的看法。有時他的想法會讓你眼前一亮，給你帶來新的想法，使你能肯定之前的想法或徹底否定你不確定的想法。

13. You don't really see or consider him as a boyfriend anymore.

你其實不再把他看作男朋友了。

He has become more like a brother? Err. No. He's more like a brother and lover combined. He's somewhere between those two. Not a brother, no longer a boyfriend, not yet a husband. LIFE MATE? That's more like it.

他變得更像一個兄弟?不對，他更像是兄弟和愛人的結(jié)合，有時介于兩者之間。不是兄弟，不再是男朋友，但也還不是丈夫。那是生活伴侶?這個更貼切吧。

(翻譯：菲菲)