關(guān)于愛(ài)情年輕的我們要知道的9件事

Who doesn’t love love? It’s one of the best, purest emotions out there. This means, of course, that it has the most drama connected to it. Everyone worries about collecting a lot of relationship baggage while they’re young, but the truth is it’s going to happen regardless of how you try to avoid it。

有誰(shuí)不喜歡愛(ài)情呢?這是一種最美好最純潔的感情。當(dāng)然，這也意味著它是最具有戲劇化的。每個(gè)人年輕的時(shí)候都擔(dān)心自己會(huì)有很多感情上的麻煩，而事實(shí)是不管你多想努力避免，這種情況總會(huì)發(fā)生。

Instead of trying to prevent lots of missteps, read these tips and find out what you should know about love when you’re still young. Find comfort in knowing that everyone goes through these things, and we all make it out on the other side。

與其試著避免犯錯(cuò)，不如看看這些關(guān)于愛(ài)情年輕的你應(yīng)該知道的事。每個(gè)人都會(huì)有這樣的經(jīng)歷，而我們最終會(huì)好起來(lái)，這樣想就舒服多了。

1. You’ll make mistakes

你會(huì)犯錯(cuò)

It’s ok to make mistakes when you’re young – especially in love! Love isn’t a rational feeling, it’s something that makes you feel the highest of happiness during the good times, and the lowest of sadness during the bad times。

年輕的時(shí)候犯錯(cuò)是可以接受的，尤其是在愛(ài)情里。愛(ài)情不是理智的，好的時(shí)候它會(huì)讓你體會(huì)最大的快樂(lè)，糟糕的時(shí)候則會(huì)讓你感受最大的傷痛。

You’re going to date people you shouldn’t; you’re going to have arguments that aren’t worth having; and you’re going to say the wrong things during these fights. It’s ok because you’re going to learn from each of these mistakes, and that will make your true love that much sweeter。

你會(huì)愛(ài)上不該愛(ài)的人，你會(huì)為了不值得的事情爭(zhēng)吵，在爭(zhēng)吵時(shí)你會(huì)出口傷人。這都是可以接受的，因?yàn)槟銜?huì)從這些錯(cuò)誤里學(xué)習(xí)，讓你真正的愛(ài)情更加甜蜜。

2. You can be selfish

你可以自私

It’s normal to be selfish when you’re young, because you need to figure out who you are and what you want from life. It’s acceptable to break up with someone over something that might seem a bit petty just because they don’t seem right for you – because they probably aren’t!

年輕的時(shí)候自私是正常的，因?yàn)槟阈枰l(fā)現(xiàn)你是誰(shuí)，你想要從生活中得到什么。和某些人因?yàn)槟承┈嵤路质种皇且驗(yàn)樗麄兯坪醪贿m合你，這也是可以接受的，因?yàn)樗麄円苍S真的不適合你。

When you’re in your teens and twenties, you need to focus on yourself, because you need to discover who you are and what your career will be. You need to work on things like this, including loving yourself, before you try to make a partnership work for the long haul。

年輕的時(shí)候，你需要專注于自身，因?yàn)槟阈枰綄つ闶钦l(shuí)，你的職業(yè)生涯會(huì)怎樣發(fā)展。你需要為這些事情而忙碌，包括在發(fā)展一段長(zhǎng)期的關(guān)系之前先愛(ài)自己。

3. You can be single

你可以單身

And you should be! Too many young people think they always need to be in a relationship. If you have this mindset, then you’re more likely to date people who are bad for you just so you’ll be with someone. It’s ok to be single! No one is watching you and keeping track of how long you’re single versus how long you’re in a relationship。

而且你應(yīng)該單身!很多年輕人認(rèn)為他們需要戀愛(ài)，如果你有這種心態(tài)，你很有可能為了找個(gè)伴而和不合適的人約會(huì)。單身沒(méi)什么不可以!沒(méi)有人會(huì)盯著你，記錄你單身的時(shí)間和戀愛(ài)的時(shí)間哪個(gè)更長(zhǎng)。

It’s important to be single so you can focus on your own life; when you do find that special someone, your relationship will be that much better because it will be special. You’ll be a well-rounded person, and you won’t have a history of hopping from relationship to relationship with no substance。

單身也是重要的，這樣你就可以專注于自己的生活。當(dāng)你真的找到那個(gè)特別的人時(shí)，你們的關(guān)系會(huì)更好，因?yàn)樗鼤?huì)很特別。你會(huì)非常圓滿，而且你不會(huì)留下一段毫無(wú)意義不斷更換戀愛(ài)對(duì)象的歷史。

4. You’ll fall in love with the wrong person

你會(huì)愛(ài)上錯(cuò)的人

This is the hardest lesson to learn, because people rarely seem wrong for you at the start of a relationship. When you feel the sparks and the butterflies, you can’t imagine that someone could be bad for you. But they can be, and they will be, and you need to learn how to identify this in others

這是最難學(xué)會(huì)的一課，因?yàn)樵趹賽?ài)的開(kāi)始，人們看起來(lái)都沒(méi)什么問(wèn)題。當(dāng)你感覺(jué)到火花時(shí)，你無(wú)法想象這個(gè)人可能并不適合你。但他們真的可能是錯(cuò)的人，而你需要學(xué)會(huì)如何辨別。

They can be kind and still be wrong — for you. You should be with someone who brings out the best in you, who is sweet and encouraging and compatible with you, not who you think you should be with to make anyone else happy。

他們可以是好人，但對(duì)于你來(lái)說(shuō)，依然是錯(cuò)的人。你應(yīng)該和一個(gè)能讓你自己最好一面顯露出來(lái)的人在一起，他/她應(yīng)該非常貼心，善于鼓勵(lì)，和你非常相配。不要為了取悅別人而勉強(qiáng)和誰(shuí)在一起。

5. It’s ok to fall in love

陷入愛(ài)情里是正常的

So you’ve met the wrong person, and maybe you kind of even know they’re wrong for you, but you can’t help it — you’re falling in love. That’s ok! It’s good to let yourself feel things for others. If you’re too hesitant to fall in love, then you might never let loose enough to find your special someone. Love is a beautiful feeling, and it’s never wrong to feel it for someone as long as you believe it’s true。

你遇到了一個(gè)錯(cuò)的人，也許你甚至知道他/她不適合你，但你就是陷入愛(ài)中無(wú)法自拔。這也是正常的。讓你自己去感知他人是好的，如果你過(guò)分猶豫不敢戀愛(ài)，你也許永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)釋放自己，找到那個(gè)對(duì)的人。愛(ài)情是一種美好的感覺(jué)，只要你相信這是真的，和某人陷入愛(ài)中就永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)錯(cuò)。

6. Live and love in the moment

活在當(dāng)下，愛(ài)在此刻

Never chastise yourself for falling in love. When you feel something in the moment, you need to let yourself feel that emotion completely. Fall in love, daydream about your future, and, as hard as it may be to do, let yourself get hurt. You’ll learn from all of these moments and all of these emotions。

永遠(yuǎn)不要因?yàn)閼賽?ài)而懲罰自己。此刻當(dāng)你有所感覺(jué)，你需要讓自己完全投入去感受這種情感。陷入愛(ài)河，幻想未來(lái)，也許還會(huì)讓自己受傷。你會(huì)從所有這些時(shí)刻和情感中學(xué)會(huì)很多。

It seems like you’d look back and kick yourself for having a crush on someone who was so obviously wrong for you, but you’ll see the past through rose-colored glasses and be glad that you experienced as much as you did。

也許當(dāng)你回頭看，會(huì)責(zé)備自己怎么會(huì)愛(ài)上一個(gè)明顯是錯(cuò)的人，但這段過(guò)去依然帶著浪漫的玫瑰色彩，你會(huì)很欣慰自己曾經(jīng)盡力去體驗(yàn)。

7. You don’t need to have a timeline

你沒(méi)有必要制定時(shí)間表

When you’re young, you get so used to people asking what you’re majoring in or what you want to be when you grow up that you start planning out your whole life. It seems more stable to think “I should be married by the time I’m 25 so I can have kids before I’m 30,” than to fly by the seat of your pants。

年輕的時(shí)候，你很習(xí)慣別人詢問(wèn)你的專業(yè)，或者你長(zhǎng)大后想做什么。然后你開(kāi)始規(guī)劃你的人生。“我應(yīng)該25歲時(shí)結(jié)婚這樣我在30歲之前就可以生孩子了”之類的想法似乎比隨遇而安更穩(wěn)定。

But the truth is, those timelines rarely work out. If they do, it might just because you feel pressured to stick to them. What if you’re dating the wrong person when you’re 25, but still feel like you have to get married to meet your goal? Scrap any timeline you have in mind. Life is going to throw you curveballs whether you have plans or not, so see who you meet, who you fall in love with, and go with the flow。

而事實(shí)是，這些時(shí)間表基本沒(méi)用。如果有用，也許只是因?yàn)槟愀杏X(jué)到了壓力而刻意遵循。如果你在25歲時(shí)愛(ài)上了一個(gè)錯(cuò)的人，卻依然覺(jué)得為了實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)你必須結(jié) 婚，會(huì)怎樣?丟掉你腦中的所有時(shí)間表。不論你有沒(méi)有計(jì)劃，生活都會(huì)照常進(jìn)行。所以等著瞧，看你會(huì)遇見(jiàn)誰(shuí)，愛(ài)上誰(shuí)，順其自然。

8. Don’t put others before yourself

不要總優(yōu)先滿足他人的需要

When you’re older and in a committed relationship or marriage, there will be times when you need to put your own wants on the back burner and let your spouse reach some of their personal goals. It’s ok to put others before yourself if you’re being supportive and not letting your own needs and wants fall to the wayside, but it shouldn’t become a habit。

當(dāng)你成長(zhǎng)了、結(jié)婚了，有時(shí)候你需要把自己的需求放在一邊，讓你的另一半實(shí)現(xiàn)他/她的目標(biāo)。如果你有足夠的支持，也不會(huì)讓自己的需求丟在一旁，優(yōu)先考慮他人是可以的，但這不應(yīng)該成為一種習(xí)慣。

If you’re in a relationship where your partner constantly needs to be the center of attention and won’t let you have interests of your own or time to yourself, you need to get out of that. Realize that it’s not only acceptable to put yourself first, but it’s necessary when you’re young and still have so much growing and learning to do。

如果在你的戀愛(ài)關(guān)系中，你的另一半總是想成為關(guān)注的焦點(diǎn)，而不能讓你擁有自己的興趣或者時(shí)間，你就應(yīng)該結(jié)束這段關(guān)系。要明白，優(yōu)先為自己考慮不僅可以接受，而且在年輕的時(shí)候是必須的，因?yàn)槟氵€有很多成長(zhǎng)空間，還可以學(xué)會(huì)很多。

9. Love yourself

愛(ài)你自己

You’ll fall in love with good people and you’ll fall in love with bad people, but above all, you need to love yourself. If you love who you are, then you’ll be more open to loving others. Love is always a great thing to share, but loving yourself also means you won’t have to find that love in others. You can love someone without needing something from them to feel validated. Loving yourself is the most powerful love you can experience。

你會(huì)愛(ài)上好人，也會(huì)愛(ài)上壞人，但最重要的是你要愛(ài)自己。如果你愛(ài)自己，你就會(huì)更加包容地去愛(ài)別人。愛(ài)永遠(yuǎn)是值得分享的好東西，但愛(ài)自己也意味著你不需要從別人那里獲取愛(ài)。你可以愛(ài)上某個(gè)人而不需要從他/她那里得到什么來(lái)確保愛(ài)的感受。愛(ài)自己是你所能經(jīng)歷的最強(qiáng)大的愛(ài)。