愛(ài)駐我心 第10期:母愛(ài)的真諦
Time is running out for my friend.
時(shí)光荏苒，朋友已經(jīng)老大不小了。
While we are sitting at lunch she casually mentions she and her husband are thinking of startinga family.
我們吃午飯時(shí)，她漫不經(jīng)心地提起她和她丈夫正考慮要小孩的事。
“We’re taking a survey.” she says, half-joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?”
“我們正在作一項(xiàng)調(diào)查，”她半開(kāi)玩笑地說(shuō)，“你覺(jué)得我應(yīng)該要個(gè)小孩嗎?”
“It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
“這會(huì)改變你的生活。”我小心翼翼地說(shuō)道，盡量使語(yǔ)氣保持客觀。
“I know,” she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous holidays...”
“我知道，”她答道，“周末睡不成懶覺(jué)，也不能隨心所欲地休假……”
But that’s not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her.
但我絕不是那個(gè)意思。我看著我的朋友，試圖整理一下自己的思緒。
I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
我想讓她知道她永遠(yuǎn)不可能在分娩課上學(xué)到的東西。
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother willleave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be vulnerable forever.
我想告訴她：分娩的有形傷疤可以愈合，但是做母親的情感傷痕卻永遠(yuǎn)如新，她會(huì)因此變得十分脆弱，永遠(yuǎn)都是。
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without thinking: “What ifthat had been my child?” That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.
如果那件事情發(fā)生在我的孩子身上將會(huì)怎樣啊?”每一次飛機(jī)失事、每一場(chǎng)住宅火災(zāi)都會(huì)讓她提心吊膽。
That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worsethan watching your child die.
我想告誡她，做了母親后，每當(dāng)她看報(bào)紙時(shí)就會(huì)情不自禁地想：“看到那些忍饑挨餓的孩子們的照片時(shí)，她會(huì)思索，世界上還有什么比眼睜睜地看著自己的孩子餓死更慘的事情呢?
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter howsophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bearprotecting her cub.
我打量著她精修細(xì)剪的指甲和時(shí)尚前衛(wèi)的衣服，心里想到，不管她打扮多么考究，做了母親后，她會(huì)變得像護(hù)崽的母熊那樣原始而不修邊幅。
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she willbe professionally derailed by motherhood.
我覺(jué)得自己應(yīng)該提醒她，不管她在工作上投入了多少年，一旦做了母親，工作就會(huì)脫離常規(guī)。
She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important businessmeeting, and she will think her baby’s sweet smell.
她當(dāng)然可以安排他人照顧孩子，但說(shuō)不定哪天她要去參加一個(gè)非常重要的商務(wù)會(huì)議，卻忍不住想起寶寶身上散發(fā)的甜甜乳香。
She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sureher child is all right.
她不得不拼命克制自己，才不致為了看看孩子是否安然無(wú)恙而中途跑回家。
I want my friend to know that every decision will no longer be routine.
我想讓我的朋友知道，有了孩子后，每一個(gè)決定都不再是例行公事。
That a five-year-old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s at arestaurant will become a major dilemma.
在餐館，5歲的兒子想進(jìn)男廁而不愿進(jìn)女廁，將成為擺在她眼前的一大難題。
The issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that achild molester may be lurking in the lavatory.
她將在兩個(gè)選擇之間權(quán)衡一番：尊重孩子的獨(dú)立和性別意識(shí)，還是讓他進(jìn)男廁所冒被潛在的兒童性騷擾者侵害的危險(xiǎn)。
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as amother.
任憑她在辦公室多么果斷，作為母親，她仍經(jīng)常后悔自己當(dāng)時(shí)的決定。
Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the addedweight of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.
看著我這位漂亮迷人的朋友，我想讓她明白，她最終會(huì)恢復(fù)到懷孕前的體重，但是她對(duì)自己的感覺(jué)已經(jīng)截然不同。
That her own life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.
她現(xiàn)在如此看重的生命，將隨著孩子的誕生而變得不那么寶貴。
She would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for moreyears—not to accomplish her own dreams—but to watch her children accomplish theirs.
為了救自己的孩子，她時(shí)刻愿意獻(xiàn)出自己的生命。但她也開(kāi)始希望多活一些年頭，不是為了實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的夢(mèng)想，而是為了看著孩子們美夢(mèng)成真。
I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to hit a ball.
我想向朋友形容自己看到孩子學(xué)會(huì)擊球時(shí)的喜悅。
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for thefirst time.
我想讓她留意孩子第一次觸摸狗的絨毛時(shí)的捧腹大笑。
I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.
我想讓她品嘗快樂(lè)，盡管這快樂(lè)是如此真實(shí)地令人心痛。
My friend’s look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.
朋友的表情讓我意識(shí)到，自己已經(jīng)是熱淚盈眶。
“You’ll never regret it.” I say finally.
“你永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)后悔的,”我最后說(shuō)。
Then, squeezing my friend’s hand, I offer a prayer for her and me and all of the mere mortalwomen who stumble their way into this holiest of callings.
然后緊緊地握住朋友的手，為她、為自己，也為每一位艱難跋涉、準(zhǔn)備響應(yīng)母親這一神圣職業(yè)的召喚的平凡女性，獻(xiàn)上自己的祈禱。
