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Celine: My parents never really spoke of the possibility of my falling in love or getting married or having children. Even as a little girl, they wanted me to think as a future career as a, you know, interior designer or lawyer or something like that. I'd say to my dad, l want to be a writer. And he'd say, Journalist. I'd say I wanted to have a refuge for stray cats. He'd say, veterinarian. I'd say I wanted to be an actress. He'd say, TV newscaster. It was this constant conversion of my fanciful ambition into these practical moneymaking ventures.
Jesse: I had a good bullshit detector when I was a kid. I always knew when they were lying to me. By high school, I was dead set on listening to what everybody thought I should do with my life and doing the opposite. Nobody was ever mean about it. I just could never get very excited about other people's ambitions for my life.
Celine: But you know what? If your parents never fully contradict you about anything and are nice and supportive.
Jesse: Right.
Celine: It makes it even harder to officially complain. Even when they're wrong, it's this passive-aggressive shit. You know what I mean? I hate it. I really hate it
Jesse: Well, you know, despite all that kind of bullshit that comes along with it, I remember childhood as this magical time. I do. I remember when my mother first told me about death. My great-grandmother had died, and my family had visited them in Florida. I was about 3, 3 1/2 years old. Anyway, I was in the back yard playing and my sister had just taught me how to take the garden hose, and do it in such a way that it sprayed into the sun and would make a rainbow. And so I was doing that and through the mist, I could see my grandmother. And she was just standing there, smiling at me. And I held it there for a long time, and I looked at her. And then finally, I let go of the nozzle, you know? And then I dropped the hose and she disappeared. And so I run back inside and tell my parents. And they sit me down and give me this big rap on how when people die, you never see them again, and how I'd imagined it. But I knew what I'd seen. I was glad I saw that. I've never seen anything like that since. But I don't know. It just kind of let me know how ambiguous everything was. Even death.
Celine: You're lucky you can have this attitude toward death. I think I'm afraid of death 24 hours a day. I swear. I mean, that's why I'm in a train right now. I could've flown to Paris, but I'm scared.
Jesse: Oh, come on.
Celine: I can't help it. I know the statistics say, Na, na, na, it's safer. Whatever. When I'm in a plane, I can see the explosion. I can see me falling through the clouds. And I'm so scared of those few seconds of consciousness before you die. When you know you're gonna die. I can't stop thinking that way. It's exhausting.
Jesse: Yeah, I bet.
Celine: Really exhausting. I think this is Vienna.
Jesse: Yeah.
Celine: You get off here, no?
Jesse: Yeah, what a drag. I wish I'd met you earlier. I really like talking to you.
Celine: Yeah, me too. It was really nice of you too.
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