托福寫(xiě)作之五：How to Use Transitions in Your Writing

沒(méi)有過(guò)渡詞，文章的觀點(diǎn)表達(dá)會(huì)顯得不是很清楚，沒(méi)有條理。

有些同學(xué)在寫(xiě)作中犯的錯(cuò)誤就是寫(xiě)的在文章中一個(gè)過(guò)渡詞也沒(méi)有。但幸好這個(gè)錯(cuò)誤不是很普遍，很多學(xué)生也意識(shí)到了過(guò)渡詞的重要性。

但寫(xiě)作中，很多學(xué)生還會(huì)犯一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤，那就是僅僅在句子開(kāi)頭加上一個(gè)過(guò)渡詞。通常這個(gè)過(guò)渡詞非常簡(jiǎn)單，不是描述類(lèi)詞語(yǔ)。還有就是在每段前加上表示順序的詞語(yǔ)，如“first,” “second,” “finally,” etc…。這些詞語(yǔ)放在段首，使文章看起來(lái)像是順序的羅列，而不是一篇文章不可分割的一部分。

我們下來(lái)看一個(gè)例子：

THE QUESTION

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they like to do—rather than doing things they should do.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

THE ANSWER (sample introductory paragraph, with transition words underlined)

With modern electronic entertainment always at out fingertips, there is no doubt that the modern world offers many chances for leisure. Because of this, there are some concerns that people in this day and age are too interested in personal enjoyment and are not productive enough. I disagree with this concern for two reasons. First, modern technology allows us to do things more quickly, which allows us to do our jobs more efficiently. Second, the modern way of life hasn’t changed the amount of time we spend working or having fun.

開(kāi)頭作者就主題給出了非常有趣的陳述，介紹了有關(guān)主題的具體內(nèi)容，闡釋了自己的觀點(diǎn)。但后兩句與文章的銜接并不好。前一句并沒(méi)有提到work and jobs，但過(guò)渡詞后突然就提到了有關(guān)work and jobs的內(nèi)容。

對(duì)比一下后兩句就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)這兩句有點(diǎn)自相矛盾，第一個(gè)過(guò)渡詞first后闡述了因?yàn)榭萍?，工作發(fā)生了變化，但second后的句子意思是在當(dāng)代工作并沒(méi)有發(fā)生什么變化。

但可以對(duì)這段進(jìn)行改進(jìn)。這段的問(wèn)題并不在于內(nèi)容，而是過(guò)渡詞。下面就是對(duì)上一段話的改進(jìn)：

With modern electronic entertainment always at out fingertips, there is no doubt that the modern world offers many chances for leisure. Because of this, there are some concerns that people in this day and age are too interested in personal enjoyment and are not productive enough. I disagree with this concern for two reasons.Where productivity is concerned, modern technology allows us to do things more quickly, which really allows us to be more productive, not less productive, at our jobs. Additionally, when it comes to leisure, the modern way of lifemay make us more productive, but it hasn’tactually changed the amount of time we spend working or having fun.(過(guò)渡詞用粗體標(biāo)出)

修改過(guò)后的這段話是不是比原來(lái)的更流暢，更有邏輯性了呢?

大家每次寫(xiě)完作文之后，也要看一下是否可以再修改潤(rùn)色一下。